this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
673 points (93.0% liked)

Programmer Humor

19812 readers
165 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Stop comparing programming languages

  • Python is versatile
  • JavaScript is powerful
  • Ruby is elegant
  • C is essential
  • C++
  • Java is robust
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] chraebsli 201 points 6 months ago (3 children)
  • PHP is old
  • HTML is NOT A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE!!!
  • CSS is
    ︎ ︎ ︎ not alig-

︎ ︎ ︎ ned

[–] [email protected] 49 points 6 months ago (1 children)

PHP is old

Same age as Ruby, Java and JavaScript, but younger than Python, C, and C++. 😛

[–] [email protected] 33 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I'm guessing they meant "old" as in "no one uses it anymore, it's dead"

[–] asyncrosaurus 56 points 6 months ago

Meanwhile PHP quietly runs 80% of the internet by being used for WordPress.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Don’t tell my bosses that. Or the PHP community as a whole for that matter. Then I might have to get a real job.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 6 months ago

I'm sorry. If you exclude the millions of sites using it, it is virtually unused.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 93 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (9 children)
  • Python is NameError: name 'term_to_describe_python' is not defined

  • JavaScript is [object Object]

  • Ruby is TypeError: Int can't be coerced into String

  • C is segmentation fault

  • C++

  • Java is

Exception in thread "main" java.lang.NullPointerException: Cannot read the termToDescribeJava because is null at ThrowNullExcep.main(ThrowNullExcep.java:7)
Exec.main(ThrowNullExcep.java:7) 
  • CSS j ust # sucks
  • Kotlin is type inference failed. The value of the type parameter K should be mentioned in input types
  • Go is unused variable
  • Rust is Compiling term v0.1.0 (/home/james/projects/Term)
[–] sus 23 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

C++ is std::__cxx11::list<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0>, std::allocator<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0> > >::erase(std::_List_const_iterator<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0> >) /usr/include/c++/12/bits/list.tcc:158

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] SatouKazuma 83 points 6 months ago (7 children)

Mfw Rustaceans don't exist :(

Also, JavaScript...why are you the way you are? Does anyone have advice for learning it so it makes sense? I can't even get tutorial projects to run properly...

[–] [email protected] 55 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This meme is older than rust.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 6 months ago (1 children)

actually it says 8h meaning it's only 8 hours old

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

It will be 8 hours old forever.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 6 months ago (4 children)

use typescript and don't look too hard at the infrastructure

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] MajorHavoc 18 points 6 months ago

The mantra that got me through JavaScript was "almost nothing we do here is able to be synchronous".

Everything about the language makes more sense, with that context.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I like Douglas Crockford’s talks about the “good parts” of JavaScript. They’re old and probably a bit outdated, but he explain quite well the history and why JavaScript is the way like it is.

It clicked for me when I saw them the first time. Still hate JavaScript though.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 69 points 6 months ago (11 children)

Just accept it, all languages suck

[–] asyncrosaurus 106 points 6 months ago (1 children)

"There are only two kinds of languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses."

[–] [email protected] 43 points 6 months ago (3 children)

That’s why Haskell is so loved. Nobody uses it.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (10 replies)
[–] [email protected] 66 points 6 months ago

ITT: Rust programmers rewriting the joke in Rust.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Are those adjectives randomly chosen?

[–] odium 49 points 6 months ago (23 children)

Yeah, JavaScript powerful? How?

[–] [email protected] 51 points 6 months ago

By running everthing in a single thread obviously. Won't get more powerful than that

load more comments (22 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 49 points 6 months ago (2 children)

C++ is OVERWHELMINGLY SUPERIOR, if you ask any professional C++ developer.

[–] BatmanAoD 29 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I was a professional C++ developer for several years, and came to the conclusion that any professional C++ developers who don't acknowledge its flaws have a form of Stockholm Syndrome.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (3 children)

This is true of every language. If you can't think of things you don't like about the language you're working in (and/or its tooling) you just don't know the language very well or are in denial.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 36 points 6 months ago (4 children)
  • C++ is fine
  • Python is fine
  • C# is fine
  • PHP is fine
  • JavaScript is fine
  • C is fine
  • Java is fine

I could go on

[–] [email protected] 29 points 6 months ago (1 children)

PHP is fine

i will fine you

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (23 children)

JavaScript is also not fine.

C++ apparently has a lot of footguns if you use too many parts of it. C and orthodox C++ are fine.

load more comments (23 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 6 months ago

There was an adjective for C++. It's just the pointer was dropped.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 6 months ago

JavaScript is powerful

Old joke (yes, you can tell):

"JavaScript: You shoot yourself in the foot. If using Netscape, your arm falls off. If using Internet Explorer, your head explodes."

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (3 children)

C++ is all of those, provided you pick any 10% of it.

You're not supposed to cast every spell in the evil grimoire.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

C is powerful. Javascript is a husky midwestern gal at a Chinese buffet.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] onlinepersona 21 points 6 months ago

C++ is a surprise CVE generator.

Anti Commercial-AI license

[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago (4 children)

what about Holy C? is it only usable to people that are actually god choosen programmers?

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (3 children)

C++ is focused on getting a strong degree of root control over the hardware of lots of systems. Which is part of why it's difficult.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 months ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (4 children)

The only reason I use C++ is because that's what all the main audio plugin tools use. It's warty and annoying, although I'm confused why Java would rank higher

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)

So we just ignore JavaScript being on that list at sll?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (3 children)
  • Rust has safety and efficiency close to C
  • Perl is processing most of your healthcare records
  • Ada is doing space stuff
  • Go is going places
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›