this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2024
674 points (93.0% liked)

Programmer Humor

22477 readers
1714 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Stop comparing programming languages

  • Python is versatile
  • JavaScript is powerful
  • Ruby is elegant
  • C is essential
  • C++
  • Java is robust
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] chraebsli 201 points 10 months ago (3 children)
  • PHP is old
  • HTML is NOT A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE!!!
  • CSS is
    ︎ ︎ ︎ not alig-

︎ ︎ ︎ ned

[–] [email protected] 49 points 10 months ago (1 children)

PHP is old

Same age as Ruby, Java and JavaScript, but younger than Python, C, and C++. 😛

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I'm guessing they meant "old" as in "no one uses it anymore, it's dead"

[–] asyncrosaurus 56 points 10 months ago

Meanwhile PHP quietly runs 80% of the internet by being used for WordPress.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Don’t tell my bosses that. Or the PHP community as a whole for that matter. Then I might have to get a real job.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago

I'm sorry. If you exclude the millions of sites using it, it is virtually unused.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 93 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (9 children)
  • Python is NameError: name 'term_to_describe_python' is not defined

  • JavaScript is [object Object]

  • Ruby is TypeError: Int can't be coerced into String

  • C is segmentation fault

  • C++

  • Java is

Exception in thread "main" java.lang.NullPointerException: Cannot read the termToDescribeJava because is null at ThrowNullExcep.main(ThrowNullExcep.java:7)
Exec.main(ThrowNullExcep.java:7) 
  • CSS j ust # sucks
  • Kotlin is type inference failed. The value of the type parameter K should be mentioned in input types
  • Go is unused variable
  • Rust is Compiling term v0.1.0 (/home/james/projects/Term)
[–] sus 23 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

C++ is std::__cxx11::list<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0>, std::allocator<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0> > >::erase(std::_List_const_iterator<std::__shared_ptr<table, (__gnu_cxx::_Lock_policy)0> >) /usr/include/c++/12/bits/list.tcc:158

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (8 replies)
[–] SatouKazuma 83 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Mfw Rustaceans don't exist :(

Also, JavaScript...why are you the way you are? Does anyone have advice for learning it so it makes sense? I can't even get tutorial projects to run properly...

[–] [email protected] 55 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This meme is older than rust.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 months ago (1 children)

actually it says 8h meaning it's only 8 hours old

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

It will be 8 hours old forever.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago (4 children)

use typescript and don't look too hard at the infrastructure

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] MajorHavoc 18 points 10 months ago

The mantra that got me through JavaScript was "almost nothing we do here is able to be synchronous".

Everything about the language makes more sense, with that context.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I like Douglas Crockford’s talks about the “good parts” of JavaScript. They’re old and probably a bit outdated, but he explain quite well the history and why JavaScript is the way like it is.

It clicked for me when I saw them the first time. Still hate JavaScript though.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 69 points 10 months ago (11 children)

Just accept it, all languages suck

[–] asyncrosaurus 106 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"There are only two kinds of languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses."

[–] [email protected] 43 points 10 months ago (3 children)

That’s why Haskell is so loved. Nobody uses it.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (10 replies)
[–] [email protected] 66 points 10 months ago

ITT: Rust programmers rewriting the joke in Rust.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Are those adjectives randomly chosen?

[–] odium 49 points 10 months ago (23 children)

Yeah, JavaScript powerful? How?

[–] [email protected] 51 points 10 months ago

By running everthing in a single thread obviously. Won't get more powerful than that

load more comments (22 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 49 points 10 months ago (2 children)

C++ is OVERWHELMINGLY SUPERIOR, if you ask any professional C++ developer.

[–] BatmanAoD 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I was a professional C++ developer for several years, and came to the conclusion that any professional C++ developers who don't acknowledge its flaws have a form of Stockholm Syndrome.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (3 children)

This is true of every language. If you can't think of things you don't like about the language you're working in (and/or its tooling) you just don't know the language very well or are in denial.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago (4 children)
  • C++ is fine
  • Python is fine
  • C# is fine
  • PHP is fine
  • JavaScript is fine
  • C is fine
  • Java is fine

I could go on

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

PHP is fine

i will fine you

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (23 children)

JavaScript is also not fine.

C++ apparently has a lot of footguns if you use too many parts of it. C and orthodox C++ are fine.

load more comments (23 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago

There was an adjective for C++. It's just the pointer was dropped.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago

JavaScript is powerful

Old joke (yes, you can tell):

"JavaScript: You shoot yourself in the foot. If using Netscape, your arm falls off. If using Internet Explorer, your head explodes."

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (3 children)

C++ is all of those, provided you pick any 10% of it.

You're not supposed to cast every spell in the evil grimoire.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

C is powerful. Javascript is a husky midwestern gal at a Chinese buffet.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] onlinepersona 21 points 10 months ago

C++ is a surprise CVE generator.

Anti Commercial-AI license

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (4 children)

what about Holy C? is it only usable to people that are actually god choosen programmers?

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (3 children)

C++ is focused on getting a strong degree of root control over the hardware of lots of systems. Which is part of why it's difficult.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (4 children)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 10 months ago (4 children)

The only reason I use C++ is because that's what all the main audio plugin tools use. It's warty and annoying, although I'm confused why Java would rank higher

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

So we just ignore JavaScript being on that list at sll?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (3 children)
  • Rust has safety and efficiency close to C
  • Perl is processing most of your healthcare records
  • Ada is doing space stuff
  • Go is going places
load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›