People can get up in arms and call it absurd but I can’t say that bothers me.
Then you have the wrong job as a representative.
this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2025
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The target obscure British comedy group named after the pet snake of one of their WW2 generals wrote a song about this exact situation:
It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material
Genetic Material is DNA. Dry skin falling off is technically discharging genetic material. As is bleeding...
Technically a woman would be grossly violating this with every period... or by giving birth.
That's satirical, right?
Right?
☹️
10k just be be able to jerk it 3 times? This guy is a loser. I'll jerk it all day for free. He can't charge me a fee
Makes sense. They're all a bunch of dicks.
(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material: ... ( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.
So basically it's illegal to do so without the intent to fertilize an embryo... unless doing it as part of a contraceptive method? Isn't abstinence - e.g. not having sex - a legitimate method?.... wouldn't masturbation be a way to manage abstinence?
I kept looking for the Onion link and never found it.
(a) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo;
This means it's legal to pull out and fill a jar to donate to such a facility.
Always has been
🤣
SECTION 1.
(1) This section shall be known and may be cited as the "Contraception Begins at Erection Act."
(2) It shall be unlawful for a person to discharge genetic material without the intent to fertilize an embryo.
(3) Upon conviction of a violation of this section, a person shall be fined:
( a ) One Thousand Dollars ($1000.00) for a first offense;
( b ) Five Thousand Dollars ($5000.00) for a second offense; and
( c ) Ten Thousand Dollars ($10,000.00) for a third or subsequent offense.
(4) This section shall not apply to the discharge of genetic material:
( a ) Donated or sold to a facility for the purpose of future procedures to fertilize an embryo; and
( b ) Discharged with the use of a contraceptive or contraceptive method intended to prevent fertilization of an embryo.
SECTION 2.
This act shall take effect and be in force from and after July 1, 2025
Well by rule 4(a) it seems encouraged to wank into an envelope and post it to him.
Shit, I vomited without intent to fertilize an embryo
I know its Mississippi but this guy has to realize this targets women with a bias. Men: "Don't masturbate or have sex for fun!"... Damn that sucks.. Women: "Don't masturbate or have sex for fun!.. oh and don't ever release an egg again". Wait I cant exist as a woman pre menopausal? Nope
That and I would worry that if people took it too seriously, it could lead to a lot more rape.
Unfortunately, since their joke is badly written, it might be interpreted has you said. Yet, please notice, with the title of this law ( “Contraception Begins at Erection Act” ) that it ~~is targeting~~ was supposed to target men.
Both the clitoris and the nipples can become erect. (I know it's a joke but I can help but smile thinking of an erect clitoris) Lol
Yes it's fun to look at this joke in different ways and to think of how it could be written in much better ways.
This will only effect incel wet dreams
LMAO. are they seroius?!!!!!!!
Doesn't look serious, but it is funny!
I love that an actual person wasted their time writing this and bringing it up with their colleagues lol
Sure, some may say it’s absurd, but masturbation inspector is a good paying, high quality American job that cannot be exported overseas, and not a job I’d trust to AI.
That state senator is a visionary!
If the Democrats aren't going to be useful, I'm glad they've at least decided to be a little funny.
It's a race to the bottom now. And the Republicans have a huge head start. Dems are nosediving to catch up.
To highlight how absolutely stupid this bill is, it sounds like it would outlaw menstruation and nocturnal emissions.
Land of the free.
Edit: it sounds like this is intentionally facetious to point out the absurdity of other pro-life bills.
It's really telling how much the Overton window in the US has shifted that you thought this was sincere to start with.
TBH it's more that I have a naive work ethic and assume someone performing such a serious and impactful job would only do so sincerely, but I agree.
Menstruation is already outlawed if out includes an unimplanted but fertilized egg.
It's just very hard to prove.
I would love to outlaw menstruation too but my fucking body won't listen to me
Careful, that post could be used against you in the court of law!
Didn't you hear? Our bodies answer directly to the government now
It respects the law.
Uh, yeah?
If your weiner can't behave when you are AFK it should be in jail!
Yes, correct, it is as absurd as pro-life ideas.
I didn't see the party of the politician in the article, so no idea if it is written in jest or just regular old Republican whackiness.
The most entertaining part is that it is written as applying to men, but as written it is gender neutral and would penalize menstruation.
Edit: It is a Dem having a lark.
You can vote against a bill you introduce. Look at Moscow Mitch.
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so it's looking to ban masturbation in mississippi.
Nah, edging is still legal
This is taking No Nut November to a whole new level
Cue the cast of Monty Python singing, ”Every sperm is sacred...."
Life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous, ongoing process.
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