Ask Lemmy

whenever someone's putting pressure on you to make a difficult important life altering decision, with the stipulation that the decision must be made immediately, RUN AWAY.

Why should I go big when I can go home.

I didn't have sex with a girl I had a crush on for the longest time.

It didn't matter a bit in the long run, but it would have been nice.

Excellently.

I got invited to an interview at an absurdist variety show with these weird ethnic undertones (this would be a hassle to explain, just imagine that part of the show is that everyone there is putting on an exaggerated redneck act). They apparently got wind of some scientific publication I was involved with and for some reason decided it would be a great piece of entertainment to have me on. My colleagues were thrilled about this 'now or never' opportunity but I had a strong gut feeling that these people weren't about to laugh with me. Thought about it for a minute and then responded nope, hard pass. Still probably one of the best decisions of my life.

I don't own a timeshare. Feel pretty good about that decision.

The numbers they were showing us seemed to make sense. If we spent an average of X on vacations for Y years compared to the cost of the timeshare and fees, the timeshare was cheaper AND we could trade our week in a ski area for timeshares anywhere in the world. How could we not buy into this? Might have signed, but when they told us we couldn't take any of the information with us and had to decide NOW, I knew something wasn't right. Had to say no for almost an hour, but but we were eventually allowed to leave the "no obligation presentation" required for our "free" weekend.

When I did more research, I found dozens of people trying to unload their purchases for far less than the company was selling weeks to new members.

I'll NEVER own anything using that kind of sales strategy.

My USMC recruiting officer didn't want me to go home and confer with family, but sign the papers right away before I walked out of the office. That's when I decided he seemed a bit too desperate.

Dozens of stories from vets later (many with TBIs who couldn't get proper treatment) I engage in counter-recruitment now.

Good good, thanks for asking!

But I also think FOMO is a terrible reason to do anything.

When I had to move out (long, unpleasant story) I had the opportunity to get a nice, cozy appartement with low rent almost immediatly, but during the interview it turned out that they didn't allow pets and wouldn't budge, so it wasn't an option for me and I politely declined.

They still tried to pressure me into signing the rental contract - calling me multiple times a day to ask whether I wanted to rethink my former decision again, eventually giving me a 24 hour deadline and demanding that I sign ASAP or they would pick someone else. That was the point I told them to go F- themselves as I was NOT going to leave my 13 year old tomcat behind or surrender him to a shelter. They didn't take it well. (...and suddenly they claimed that noone else wanted the appartement and that they desperately needed someone to move in very soon yadda yadda ... so much for "we're going to pick someone else if you don't sign today".)

Best decision I've made that year. The landlord I have now is a super chill dude and I still have my spoiled furry little bastard with me. I'd rather have lived on the street than leaving a four-legged family member behind.

No idea what became of the other appartement but I pity the people who will have to put up with that passive-aggressive nonsense for lack of alternatives.

This guy wanted me to help him count cards and we were gonna get rich at casinos.

I decided to stay home and play video games instead.

In hindsight, I'd say pretty good lol

Haven't heard from that guy in years but I'm going to assume he got murdered by a shady casino owner.

"Now or never" is almost never a good deal. Avoid it like the plague

I was backed into a corner, being forcefully propositioned for a threesome I had already said No to. It became a Never being around those people again.

I still get a little cranky when I think about being put in that scenario against my express wishes, but have zero regrets. An experience of a lifetime perhaps, but not my jam.

Avoided so many scam, so i'd say it's going great!

I'd met a guy in a hostel in America. I was about to finish second year of uni and we heard about this work abroad program, so we did it for the summer and I met him when I checked into a dorm room at the end of the trip. We had a little fun, and then I flew home.

Six months later and we had the odd conversation on Skype, it seemed like there was still some chemistry there. During half term break, we talked again and he suggested meeting up again to figure out if this was more than a fling. So we looked at dates and I realized my final year's exhibitions and exams blocked pretty much everything for the foreseeable future. We hung up the call and I carried on browsing flights and then I saw it. $250 for a return flight to California, leaving in 48 hours.

He'd already gone to bed, so I couldn't call him back to discuss plans. So fuck it, I put in my card details and my finger hovered over the buy button. It's now or never, so I clicked the button. BOOKED. I sent him a message and started packing for my trip. Yikes.

I'd got a message back that he'd pick me up from the airport, and as the plane touched down in San Diego I was freaking out that the spark might not be there or he might decide he doesn't like me anymore, it's been six months and our initial fling was a drunken party at a hostel.

But he was there waiting at the bottom of the elevator, and my heart absolutely flipped its shit when I saw him. We spent the next seven days inseparable, it was one long date, and it was incredible.

Fast forward six years and we're saying our vows in the park where we took our first romantic walk. We posed for wedding photos in the hostel room where we met. Fast forward another seven years and I'm laying in bed typing this, while he does a conference call in the office next door. Our spark is still there, and I love him so much.

When I was in my 20s a guy wanted me to maintain his website that sold do l delivery service of food to college kids and it would have been my first paying gig doing it but he wanted to pay me in "equity" which at the time translated into he wanted free labor and I ghosted him.

About 10 years ago he sold his company to Grub Hub for a few hundred million. Fucked that one up.

If its pressured then never or no is my usual response. If its more situational then I might do now.

Depressed. I could have had so much sex, with people who cared for me.

One time like 10 years ago I was at a party and my crush was there. It was a bunch of musicians and basically everyone was smoking weed, but she was one of maybe 3 drunk people there. She was slurring her words, falling down drunk and no one was helping her.

She slurred out "I need to go to the b***room..." So I thought she either needs to go to the "bathroom" because she's gonna be sick, or the "bedroom" because she's gonna pass out and it's her friend's house. I help her back to the hallway - bedroom's one side, bathroom is the other - and she pulls me toward the bedroom.

Now this girl was blasted... There's no way I'm gonna try anything. I just wanna get her to a place where she won't fall and break her face or drown in her own vomit.

I helped her to the bed and turn to leave and she grabs my leg...

Her: "Come on.." Me: "come on, what?" Her: "do your thing... Do your stuff" Me: "What stuff?"

(She sits up)

Her: "you... And me...." (Wildly smashes hands together) Me: "yeah... That doesn't seem like a good idea" Her (still slurring her words): "come ooonnnn, I'm not that drunk" Me: "Tell you what. If you give me three coherent sentences so I know the lights are on, and I will fuck you into next weekend." Her (eyes rolling in opposite directions): "buh... Gahnt... Ack...lep" Me: "ok. Good night. I'll let Friend know you're back here"

I go to walk away and she grabs me again.

Her (suddenly lucid and making eye contact with perfect speech): It's now or never dude. Me: "Well in that case it's never."

So I walked away, because I don't need that kinda mindfuck.

I'm happily married to someone with the same first name.

Drunk girl died of cancer.

Surprisingly nothing significant or life-changing. Phew

It’s going better than it was before. I haven’t been laid in six years, but it was worth it to leave her.