this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023
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Things that would usually work in a romcom (startrek.website)
submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 145 points 11 months ago (5 children)

Yeah, girls do seem to like it when you demonstrate how much you care. Just have to get your foot in the door first, with dates and small talk and jokes and stuff, so it grows naturally. Otherwise, especially if there's anxiety at play, it can feel creepily artificial and accelerated. Those are not attractive.

That's where romcoms mess up, the shorter movie runtime means they have to skip the legwork that would be necessary irl before reasonably showing feelings that strong.

Let's be honest though, guys been pulling dumb stunts for girls they really like (and vice versa too) for a very long time. That's real life, which romcoms are taking inspiration from. They just cut out all the dull parts and exaggerate the rest for comedy purposes.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (1 children)

But they play into the idea that it's the norm, or the expected even, and other movies draw inspiration from its ideals further solidifying the concept of unrestrained woo.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yea, they take it too far. It's Hollywood though, they're selling fantasy for $$$, not actually trying to pass on anything semi-useful.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah, I mean hallmark movies are no different than professional porn, but they target the heart instead of the balls.

There’s very little foreplay, the actors always look the same, the emotions and acting are overplayed and drawn out, somehow the repetitive scenario they are in is kooky but slightly believable.

It’s meant to give the viewer the slight idea of “that could be me one day” to enhance their experience and keep them coming back, but once the money shot happens and they close the video, some people carry that baggage with them and think that’s what real life is like.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ohhhh that's a good one. And really, aren't action films testosterone porn? That shits not real. Irl heroes usually die in the process.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That’s true, especially in action films where it’s like “semi-regular guy gets mixed up in something and has to prove just how not regular he is.” Same thing though, false amounts of prep, plot armor to hammer home the point, and some stupid money shot quip once they get the bad guy. It’s all porn all the way down.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

I'd love to see a realistic action movie where the main protagonist gets shot and starts dying in literally the first combat scene, realizing just how fragile humans are and how stupid they were, and then the rest of the movie dealing with the fallout.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The Other Guys has something similar where the hot shot detectives are in pursuit and decide to jump off a building to keep going and don’t make it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Played for comedic effect, but an effective commentary on the trope.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

lol at my workplace whenever management starts making impossible goals because “that’s what [insert company 10x as large as us] is doing” I just think “aim for the bushes”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Lone Survivor is a great example of this, and a true story.

The true story is actually crazier than the film, of all things. Kind of like Hacksaw Ridge.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's basically Gran Torino.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

In Gran Torino the whole intention of the main character going into the situation was to get shot, and he actually carefully prepared for his death, which seems diametric to an ill prepared hot headed action scene.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

The couple in this situation are lucky it worked out, but generally what happened here would be a big overstepping of boundaries. Media heavily encourages guys to do these big moves and big gestures, but very often these big moves are written without respecting boundaries, without checking in and without worrying about consent. Actually - it's often written as if not checking for consent are what makes these big moves great.

That's fiction. That is NOT real life. It looks nice on film, but in real life, more often than not, it's disrespectful and uncomfortable. There's lots of ways to show you care, and the most fundamental one is checking in, asking for consent, asking about boundaries and comfort levels.

This couple is lucky that it worked out without serious boundaries being crossed without those conversations. But I want to stress - that's luck. Check in

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Yes, you're right, it is luck. Previous generations believed luck was an important element in deciding who got to be successful or not in life. We generally disagree with that position, which is why we talk about doing things differently.

To pretend that this the fault of media exclusively just teaching bad practices vs the media simply parroting our own silly, hormone-driven behaviors back at us, is pretty ridiculous imo.

Stunts are not always large, sometimes they are small. What makes them stunts is they're dumb, though, because the hormones and genitalia are driving your brain, not the rational logic centers anymore. Trust me though, the feeling of being in love makes "sense" go largely out the window. It's a more powerful rush than any drug, imagining that rationality can just casually put it in check is frankly, absurd.

Really, fall madly, head over heels for someone. Let me know how rational and logical it makes you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

This is why Nora Ephron is the GOAT. she always puts time jumps in the story so you can see the characters grow over time.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

There’s gotta be trust and good intentions. For example. If you think your unrequested 8 hour drive now means you deserve sex, we sense it and we are generally not a fan.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

guys been pulling dumb stunts for girls they really like (and vice versa too) for a very long time. That’s real life, which romcoms are taking inspiration

How many stories about some warrior has to complete a quest to get the girl. Like Chulainn.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Yeah, Norway's first unification apparently happened because some small king wanted a girl and needed to impress her.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 11 months ago (3 children)

depressing that people have to drive 8 hours to visit others, should be a 5 hour train at least

[–] [email protected] 36 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Laughs in Canadian.

My longest single day non-stop drive was around 18 hours.... Never even left the province. The flight alternative required me chartering my own plane and would have cost many many thousands of dollars more, so I went with driving as it was the cheapest option.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

As a European, these distances are mind-boggling. If I drive 18 hours, I can drive through half a dozen countries (or more, if you optimize for that) and easily get from the Baltic sea to the Mediterranean sea.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Don’t worry, I expect to see North America to be similar, barring climate extinction.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Took me 13 hours to drive from Vancouver to Canmore Alberta, 13 hours to drive from Canmore to Kenora Ontario, 13 hours to drive from Kenora to Saults Saint Marie, and 7 more to get to Toronto.

Managed to cut it down to 18 hours straight to get the hell out of Ontario.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Sure, we'll just delete some of the land in North America so everyone can live closer together.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (7 children)

China can make high speed rail. And it's not a small country

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

America was built by train too to be fair

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

China has high speed rail in its eastern most populated section, with a single line running to the entire western half of the country, and similarly sparse lines to the north. The dense population centers in the US are not all in one area, they are spread across the continent interspersed with large swaths of rural land. That being said the US is working on high speed rail, and we've had passenger trains that cross the entire country for nearly two centuries - see Amtrak, as well as bus services like Greyhound.

As much as I hate to break up a circle jerk, the US is about as good at this as any other western country, and it's doing it across an entire sparsely populated continent, not small, highly dense European countries.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I didn't know that when highways were built land was deleted so everyone could live closer together. I mean if we can delete it once, why not for the second time amirite?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

The only way for there never to be long trips in a country that spans the width of an entire continent would be to condense every one into a much smaller area. So you either abandon land in 2/3rds of the country, or you figure out how to magically drop away the land in between large metro areas.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Depending on the familiarity. Everyone is different.

Imagine if you went on a date with a person. You think they're neat. And maybe will give them a second chance.

Suddenly, they show up outside of your family's house.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Context and nuance. Just about everything in life comes down to context and nuance.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

And I guess she was really into him since otherwise this would be fucked

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

When the dry spell beats out the red flags.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's pretty dedicated just to get laid again.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes it do be that good.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

For the criminally insane.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Alright but when I do it I get a restraining order on me

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

rules 1 and 2, pal. Depending on how close you are to following them, your results will vary lol

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Image Transcription: Twitter

Jessica Ellis @baddestmamajama

11 years ago, I was texting a dude I'd hooked up with a few times as I got ready for thanksgiving back in my hometown. "I forget, what's your town called again?" He asked. I told him. One EIGHT HOUR DRIVE later he appeared at my doorstep. WHAT A DUMBASS.

Anyway we're married.