this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023
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Yeah, girls do seem to like it when you demonstrate how much you care. Just have to get your foot in the door first, with dates and small talk and jokes and stuff, so it grows naturally. Otherwise, especially if there's anxiety at play, it can feel creepily artificial and accelerated. Those are not attractive.
That's where romcoms mess up, the shorter movie runtime means they have to skip the legwork that would be necessary irl before reasonably showing feelings that strong.
Let's be honest though, guys been pulling dumb stunts for girls they really like (and vice versa too) for a very long time. That's real life, which romcoms are taking inspiration from. They just cut out all the dull parts and exaggerate the rest for comedy purposes.
But they play into the idea that it's the norm, or the expected even, and other movies draw inspiration from its ideals further solidifying the concept of unrestrained woo.
Yea, they take it too far. It's Hollywood though, they're selling fantasy for $$$, not actually trying to pass on anything semi-useful.
Yeah, I mean hallmark movies are no different than professional porn, but they target the heart instead of the balls.
There’s very little foreplay, the actors always look the same, the emotions and acting are overplayed and drawn out, somehow the repetitive scenario they are in is kooky but slightly believable.
It’s meant to give the viewer the slight idea of “that could be me one day” to enhance their experience and keep them coming back, but once the money shot happens and they close the video, some people carry that baggage with them and think that’s what real life is like.
Ohhhh that's a good one. And really, aren't action films testosterone porn? That shits not real. Irl heroes usually die in the process.
That’s true, especially in action films where it’s like “semi-regular guy gets mixed up in something and has to prove just how not regular he is.” Same thing though, false amounts of prep, plot armor to hammer home the point, and some stupid money shot quip once they get the bad guy. It’s all porn all the way down.
I'd love to see a realistic action movie where the main protagonist gets shot and starts dying in literally the first combat scene, realizing just how fragile humans are and how stupid they were, and then the rest of the movie dealing with the fallout.
The Other Guys has something similar where the hot shot detectives are in pursuit and decide to jump off a building to keep going and don’t make it.
lol at my workplace whenever management starts making impossible goals because “that’s what [insert company 10x as large as us] is doing” I just think “aim for the bushes”
Played for comedic effect, but an effective commentary on the trope.
Lone Survivor is a great example of this, and a true story.
The true story is actually crazier than the film, of all things. Kind of like Hacksaw Ridge.
That's basically Gran Torino.
In Gran Torino the whole intention of the main character going into the situation was to get shot, and he actually carefully prepared for his death, which seems diametric to an ill prepared hot headed action scene.
The couple in this situation are lucky it worked out, but generally what happened here would be a big overstepping of boundaries. Media heavily encourages guys to do these big moves and big gestures, but very often these big moves are written without respecting boundaries, without checking in and without worrying about consent. Actually - it's often written as if not checking for consent are what makes these big moves great.
That's fiction. That is NOT real life. It looks nice on film, but in real life, more often than not, it's disrespectful and uncomfortable. There's lots of ways to show you care, and the most fundamental one is checking in, asking for consent, asking about boundaries and comfort levels.
This couple is lucky that it worked out without serious boundaries being crossed without those conversations. But I want to stress - that's luck. Check in
Yes, you're right, it is luck. Previous generations believed luck was an important element in deciding who got to be successful or not in life. We generally disagree with that position, which is why we talk about doing things differently.
To pretend that this the fault of media exclusively just teaching bad practices vs the media simply parroting our own silly, hormone-driven behaviors back at us, is pretty ridiculous imo.
Stunts are not always large, sometimes they are small. What makes them stunts is they're dumb, though, because the hormones and genitalia are driving your brain, not the rational logic centers anymore. Trust me though, the feeling of being in love makes "sense" go largely out the window. It's a more powerful rush than any drug, imagining that rationality can just casually put it in check is frankly, absurd.
Really, fall madly, head over heels for someone. Let me know how rational and logical it makes you.
This is why Nora Ephron is the GOAT. she always puts time jumps in the story so you can see the characters grow over time.
There’s gotta be trust and good intentions. For example. If you think your unrequested 8 hour drive now means you deserve sex, we sense it and we are generally not a fan.
How many stories about some warrior has to complete a quest to get the girl. Like Chulainn.
Yeah, Norway's first unification apparently happened because some small king wanted a girl and needed to impress her.