this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023
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The couple in this situation are lucky it worked out, but generally what happened here would be a big overstepping of boundaries. Media heavily encourages guys to do these big moves and big gestures, but very often these big moves are written without respecting boundaries, without checking in and without worrying about consent. Actually - it's often written as if not checking for consent are what makes these big moves great.
That's fiction. That is NOT real life. It looks nice on film, but in real life, more often than not, it's disrespectful and uncomfortable. There's lots of ways to show you care, and the most fundamental one is checking in, asking for consent, asking about boundaries and comfort levels.
This couple is lucky that it worked out without serious boundaries being crossed without those conversations. But I want to stress - that's luck. Check in
Yes, you're right, it is luck. Previous generations believed luck was an important element in deciding who got to be successful or not in life. We generally disagree with that position, which is why we talk about doing things differently.
To pretend that this the fault of media exclusively just teaching bad practices vs the media simply parroting our own silly, hormone-driven behaviors back at us, is pretty ridiculous imo.
Stunts are not always large, sometimes they are small. What makes them stunts is they're dumb, though, because the hormones and genitalia are driving your brain, not the rational logic centers anymore. Trust me though, the feeling of being in love makes "sense" go largely out the window. It's a more powerful rush than any drug, imagining that rationality can just casually put it in check is frankly, absurd.
Really, fall madly, head over heels for someone. Let me know how rational and logical it makes you.