X Æ A-12
this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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The only way to escape a name like that is to take a phallic rocket to mars and start a new colony
The only winner here is his sister who's name was not as publicized. Exa Dark Siderael
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Bob, short for Bobert. So that every time he has to say his full name to anyone on the phone or fill out forms somewhere, he has to repeatedly explain that, no, it's not Robert, it's Bobert.
Best one so far
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Sue.
I dont know about that.
See, this world is rough, and if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough. If a father knew he wouldn't be there to help his son along he could, hypothetically, give him that name, say goodbye, and know his son would have to get tough or die.
That very name would then help to make him strong.
Right but everyone would be like "haha sue like the song" and he'd get so annoyed
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Adolf
That wouldn't fly with the city clerk in Belgium. But then again, one can always try!
Should have made a joke with "nein", but people would be Fuhrerious about it!
I once knew someone who refused to tell anyone the name they chose before the baby was born (absolutely valid choice, IMO). The grandpa-to-be chose to exclusively refer to the fetus as Beelzebub.
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- Spanko
- Twallypod
- Roooooo
- Meganginipple
- Nipple
- Craig
- Nart
- Puddin
- Sue
- Ticksy
- Ewwgross
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First, anything ending in -ayden. 2-4, I'm just going to list a few real names I've heard. Middles included.
Wynter Obsidian
Ocean Zebediah
Buck Shot
Dude, "Buck Shot" is awesome. That kid is pretty much guaranteed to be an astronaut with a name like that.
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X Æ A-12
Open a random page in any P. G. Wodehouse novel and you’re good to go! Gussie Fink-Nottle, Bingo Little, Kipper Herring, Stiffy Byng. Or, my personal fave, add in an extra letter like he did for his character Psmith, where, he explains, the “p” is silent, "as in pshrimp.”
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Jugemu Jugemu Go-Kō-no-Surikire Kaijari-suigyo no Suigyō-matsu Unrai-matsu Fūrai-matsu Kū-Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yaburakōji no Burakōji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shūringan Shūringan no Gūrindai Gūrindai no Ponpokopii no Ponpokonaa no Chōkyūmei no Chōsuke
What?!? What a coincidence! My name is also Jugemu Jugemu Go-Kō-no-Surikire Kaijari-suigyo no Suigyō-matsu Unrai-matsu Fūrai-matsu Kū-Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro Yaburakōji no Burakōji Paipo Paipo Paipo no Shūringan Shūringan no Gūrindai Gūrindai no Ponpokopii no Ponpokonaa no Chōkyūmei no Chōsuke!
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Organ farm #17.
Biggus And then convince them to change their last name into Dikkus
There's a classic Japanese story about a boy called Jugemu Jugemu Gokō-no Surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyōmatsu Unraimatsu Fūraimatsu Kuunerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakōji-no Burakōji Paipopaipo Paipo-no Shūringan Shūringan-no Gūrindai Gūrindai-no Ponpokopii-no Ponpokonā-no Chōkyūmei-no Chōsuke. That's all the first name. No nicknames allowed.
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Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm. Assuming they live in Ulm. If not, adjust name accordingly.
Any very foreign sounding name is a great contender: Ashurbanipal, Nebuchadnezzar, Nabopolassar.
Judas is a good option, too. I think it's even illegal to name your child Judas in Germany.
Any DBZ character works. Trunks in an english speaking country would be spot on.
For a tropical real life villain, Jair Bolsonaro.
We had a mother and baby possum on our fence that we nicknamed Methany and Rolexxus.
Deuteronomy
Alexa That's just gotta be annoying for everyone when your smart home device kicks into action every time your name is called.
That's a pretty long name.
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