Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed
C is a LETTER, not a language
Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN
"I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02%" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE

Look at what PROGRAMMERs have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS)

FUNNY COLORED LETTERS (with a picture of syntax-highlighted code)
178 COMPILATION ERRORS????? (with a picture of compilation errors
A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN'T USE (with a picture of a 3d rendered teapot.

IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGH IN DOING while(true{print(money);}

end transcript.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Science? There's science behind the clusterfuck we call software nowadays?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I think it's only getting worse. I always assumed the next generation will be more tech savvy than the last one. I had to learn windows/mac/dos when i grew up, just to play some video games. There was a lot of troubleshooting and hardware problems i had to figure out. When i was 25, people would tell me that their 5 year old can use their ipd better than they can. (Ipads just came out.) I thought these kids are gonna be computer wizards when they grow up. It was the absolute opposite. I talked to these kids when they were around 16 again, and they were absolutely clueless. If it wasn't an ipad or an app they could use, they might as well play with a piece of glass. Can you do ..... On an ipad? Hmm, what app is that? It's not an app is something you do, like a setting. Hmmm... I'll check the app store.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago

Yep, 1990-2010 was kind of the golden age for learning computers on the fly. They were too rare and inaccessible before, and they're too polished and sandboxed now.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Vaguely.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Misinterpreted, abused, generally mistreated, ignored and disrespected.

[–] SatouKazuma 1 points 5 days ago

I feel like these terms apply to any non-JS dev ever.

Source: JS can suck my balls. It's an awful, chaotically evil language that has never made any sense, nor do I think it ever will.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

Yes, it's just buried under crap and and redundant copies of itself. And possibly still written in Fortran.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago

Where is "they've played us for absolute fools"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Ah yes, let's forget that that image is created on a computer

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

No, I made it pixel by pixel on a piece of paper, and then scanned it to spread the word.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago

Thank you for your service

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

What is "a 0.02%"?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

So saith corporal Ludd

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 days ago

Appreciate the alt text

[–] [email protected] 71 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Why are you trying to write python? Just get one from the pet shop!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

I get my Java from a local coffee shop

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Rust is even easier, you probably have some you aren't even using. Check in the bikeshed.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Why are you writing Rust? Do you want to get tetanus?

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 week ago (1 children)

A client with s very low budget wanted a solution for their filing. We suggested they could get more bang for their bucks with preprinted paper forms, pens and a cabinet than going for software. They were not amused.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago

and if they want to go fancy and cheap, suggest excel.

[–] nullPointer 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

I just tell people that I am a "professional button pusher"

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Knowing which buttons to push is the valuable part though.

[–] ulterno 21 points 1 week ago

That's what diffs a professional button pusher from an amateur button pusher.
When you know which buttons in which order get you money, you become a professional.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

I dont know where I heard this story but it was something like the following:

In a company a very valuable machine breaks and becomes inoperable, so they call the support. They send a mechanic to fix the machine. The mechanic arrives inspects the machine, opens it, presses a button and it works as if nothing happened. The manager then asks why he is paying the mechanic just to press a button. The mechanic answers "you aren't paying me for pressing the button, but for knowing which button to press".

[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

while 1 print money

Central banks obfuscate this code a bit, but its all about having the right printer hooked up.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Well, they use a for loop that whatever group of bureaucrats has to enter a limit into, but basically yes.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Ok but that is actually a nonsensical statement. In no case will using threads and recursion reduce cpu usage

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

Removing spinlocks on IO by using async event handling can reduce cpu usage

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago

Oh I can use threads and recursion to stop CPU usage.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I mean, the entirety of Steam's code could maybe be described as an obfuscated version of

while(true){ print(money); }

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Twitter is just a wrapper around a database.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 days ago

YouTube is just a weeeeeeeird cylinder that simply can not be filled.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

We need more funding for RGB lit components for our programmers since this will make them better programmers

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (8 children)

What's the teapot?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago (1 children)

HTTP 418

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 week ago

Its a traditional shape you try to recreate in algorithmic 3d graphics

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

A standard reference model in 3d modeling.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utah_teapot

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

Yeah it's all propaganda, I like bashing a keyboard's keys due to sexual reasons.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

using threads to reduce cpu usage ? in what world ? if you can parallelize tasks you will always increase the workload done.

[–] sus 18 points 1 week ago

they said optimize CPU usage, not reduce CPU usage. clearly they actually want to increase CPU utilization in this mysterious "0.02%" situation in order to get the results faster

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