this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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[–] JackbyDev 4 points 6 days ago

"Thank you for your patience"

[–] [email protected] 132 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Unfortunately due to other matters I don’t have the bandwidth today.

Let’s schedule a follow-up to discuss for a later date so I can give this the focus it warrants.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago

This is the one. Polite and professional, and also acknowledges the importance of the other person's viewpoint.

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The coffee hasn't kicked in yet.

Bonus round: you don't drink coffee.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 week ago

I just need a quick bump and I'll be back in action

[–] [email protected] 76 points 1 week ago

This is why I love working in a blue collar field. Who needs professionalism. "Sorry boss, brain's fucked today. Explain it at me like I'm an apprentice."

[–] [email protected] 58 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What’s the priority on this? I’ve been a little scattered today.

Bear with me, I’ve been running around all day, and I need to catch up and refocus.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

I like the first sentence as a standalone reply.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I like to explore all the angles before committing to a decision

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"Sorry, I haven't had my coffee yet."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

In the morning, it's "I'm not fully caffeinated, yet".

In the hour(s) leading up to lunch, it's "My blood sugar must be getting low."

In the hour(s) after lunch, it's "I've had lunch and now I feel like I need a nap."

In the hour(s) before clocking out for the day, it's "It's been a long day and my eyes / brain need a rest."

This is basically science. I just need to apply for some funding.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

To be fair, 4 PM was usually the time for a coffee break back when I worked in an office.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

“Sorry, I haven’t had my ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago

“Sorry, you don't pay me enough for ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Sorry, I don't function well on Mondays"

"But today is Wednesday"

"I call it third Monday"

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Sorry, I have a case of the Mondays!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Not if you say it on a Thursday. With a gallon of coffee in hand.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I'm sorry. My brain is slow today and this needs to be done while I am fresh. We can go over it tomorrow.

I am too burnt out today.

I can't focus on that right now.

I am not functional enough for that.

I don't even make shit up and I am done with corpo speak. If they can't accept that, then they can get over it. We can discuss this like humans. If I can get you started, great, but if you want this done right, you will wait.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 week ago

"let's pencil in a session about that tomorrow morning"

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 week ago

"Just back from annual leave and trying to get upto speed" or "just had the closing meeting on an old project. Once I'm fully read in on this I will be able to take it on"

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

"Co-pilot, make up an excuse for me."

I am unavoidably detained due to furious diarrhea

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Then there's me. Who's not smart AND my brain is fried. AMA

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

Sorry, I have exceeded my bandwidth for the day.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago

I find the blank, abyssal stare of one desperately trying to piece reality back together long enough to hold conversation, sends a pretty clear message

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

We need some internal discussion on this. (When talking to an external party or another department)

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I promise I'm smart my brain is just sautéed.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

"Apologies, X AM/PM is too early in the morning for my brain"

It becomes more of a joke the later it is in the day.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago

Think no. Brain not good.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"My apologies, I seem to have contracted an acute case of skibidi brainrot."

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

I work smarter not harder

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can assure you of my intellectual capacity but there is a severe incompatibility with cognitive functions on this day.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago

At present time.

[–] NostraDavid 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

(I just recreated the original because that one is jpegged to hell and back. I used draw.io (used the original image as background), then exported as SVG, jammed it through SVGOMG, and then let ChatGPT do one last optimization because the font stuff was a bit too much, removed the whitespace and comments - boom: 700kb SVG)

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

When I'm in that situation, my go-to is "I don't think I can do that today, but I think we should definitely look into that sometime"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

I've seen

I am at capacity

And

My head is full

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Sorry but my burnout quotient is too damn high today. Leave it with me and I'll ponder it while I grab an emergency tea.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

"I'm having a 4th Monday this week"

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