"Thank you for your patience"
this post was submitted on 02 Jan 2025
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Unfortunately due to other matters I don’t have the bandwidth today.
Let’s schedule a follow-up to discuss for a later date so I can give this the focus it warrants.
This is the one. Polite and professional, and also acknowledges the importance of the other person's viewpoint.
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The coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
Bonus round: you don't drink coffee.
I just need a quick bump and I'll be back in action
This is why I love working in a blue collar field. Who needs professionalism. "Sorry boss, brain's fucked today. Explain it at me like I'm an apprentice."
What’s the priority on this? I’ve been a little scattered today.
Bear with me, I’ve been running around all day, and I need to catch up and refocus.
I like the first sentence as a standalone reply.
"Sorry, I haven't had my coffee yet."
It's 4 PM, Ron.
In the morning, it's "I'm not fully caffeinated, yet".
In the hour(s) leading up to lunch, it's "My blood sugar must be getting low."
In the hour(s) after lunch, it's "I've had lunch and now I feel like I need a nap."
In the hour(s) before clocking out for the day, it's "It's been a long day and my eyes / brain need a rest."
This is basically science. I just need to apply for some funding.
To be fair, 4 PM was usually the time for a coffee break back when I worked in an office.
“Sorry, I haven’t had my ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”
“Sorry, you don't pay me enough for ~~coffee~~ cocaine yet.”
"Sorry, I don't function well on Mondays"
"But today is Wednesday"
"I call it third Monday"
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Sorry, I have a case of the Mondays!
I believe you get your ass kicked for saying something like that
Not if you say it on a Thursday. With a gallon of coffee in hand.
I'm sorry. My brain is slow today and this needs to be done while I am fresh. We can go over it tomorrow.
I am too burnt out today.
I can't focus on that right now.
I am not functional enough for that.
I don't even make shit up and I am done with corpo speak. If they can't accept that, then they can get over it. We can discuss this like humans. If I can get you started, great, but if you want this done right, you will wait.
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"let's pencil in a session about that tomorrow morning"
"Just back from annual leave and trying to get upto speed" or "just had the closing meeting on an old project. Once I'm fully read in on this I will be able to take it on"
"It's been a long day."
"Co-pilot, make up an excuse for me."
I am unavoidably detained due to furious diarrhea
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Sorry, I have exceeded my bandwidth for the day.
I find the blank, abyssal stare of one desperately trying to piece reality back together long enough to hold conversation, sends a pretty clear message
We need some internal discussion on this. (When talking to an external party or another department)
I promise I'm smart my brain is just sautéed.
"Apologies, X AM/PM is too early in the morning for my brain"
It becomes more of a joke the later it is in the day.
Think no. Brain not good.
"My apologies, I seem to have contracted an acute case of skibidi brainrot."
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I work smarter not harder
I can assure you of my intellectual capacity but there is a severe incompatibility with cognitive functions on this day.
At present time.
(I just recreated the original because that one is jpegged to hell and back. I used draw.io (used the original image as background), then exported as SVG, jammed it through SVGOMG, and then let ChatGPT do one last optimization because the font stuff was a bit too much, removed the whitespace and comments - boom: 700kb SVG)
When I'm in that situation, my go-to is "I don't think I can do that today, but I think we should definitely look into that sometime"
I've seen
I am at capacity
And
My head is full
Sorry but my burnout quotient is too damn high today. Leave it with me and I'll ponder it while I grab an emergency tea.
"I'm having a 4th Monday this week"
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