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Is there a good "no hello" website that doesn't come across as rude? (self.ask_experienced_devs)

submitted 2 days ago by JackbyDev to c/ask_experienced_devs

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For context, "no hello website" is a term I'm using to describe websites like https://nohello.com. The gist is that it's trying to get people to no only say "hello" but also ask whatever it is they're trying to ask you about. (In my opinion, this can even extend to generic conversations, like "hey, how are you?" versus just "hey!")

The problem is, many of these websites seem pretty rude. At the end of the day, I don't think it's possible to make one not seem at least a little rude because telling someone not to say hello just sounds rude lol. That said, even my favorite one (https://nohello.club/) has phrases like

Unnecessary pleasantries
useless phrase like "Hello"

But I like it because it doesn't say things like this that the original http://nohello.com says

please be prepared to be ignored if you only say "Hello!".

Some context, I'm not necessarily looking to include this on any corporate messaging app bio (unless it was 100% polite, which as I said I don't find possible). But the closer to something that polite, the more useful I think it is.

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[–] tyler 1 points 7 hours ago

I posted the nohello.com website once in my slack and then from that point on just stopped responding to hello, hi, hi tyler, etc. What @[email protected] talks about below is exactly my case:

That makes perfect sense, and I see why the habit became so commonplace; but that’s exactly why this is annoying to anyone who is highly responsive on a messaging app, especially if responding to requests for help is part of their professional work. They pay attention to their notifications, so the notifications are probably configured to be noisy. Checking a notification before it’s actionable is a waste of their time, albeit a small one.

I just don't have time to give my attention to those people. They can either get their help elsewhere or they can ask a question. I know that sounds rude, but I will help literally anyone that asks within minutes of them messaging me, so it's literally the smallest thing to ask for.

[–] borup 4 points 19 hours ago

I learned the concept as "1st rule of IRC: Never ask to ask." Or some variation there of.

[–] 0x0 3 points 1 day ago

TIL about the "no hello" concept and i love it.

[–] andioop 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Hey, I'd greatly appreciate if your first message to me could include a summary of the problem.

This forces them to get to the point without banning pleasantries. The site you linked itself still allows a "Hello," just as long as you bundle the necessary content in that message too so nobody gets alerted and then has to spend time waiting for the real content. Something something "please do X" tends to be more friendly-sounding than "don't do Y".

Not an Experienced Dev, just got here by way of the Local feed, so let me know if I should delete.

I like to get straight to the point but I also feel rude not including a greeting (and it's reflexive at this point for me to do).

In chats I'm also the kind of person who separates their thoughts into several messages, a habit I originally developed as a kid trying to text more like other people and that is now completely internalized (and I feel it works on chat—so my long text stream is less intimidating. New paragraphs are all well and good to separate new ideas but a new text is too).

Which means even though I send a message including my problem, I also send a message with just "Hi". And the message with my problem tends to be longer and take me more time to type, so there is a delay between "Hi" and the actual issue.

…am I the problem?

Thanks for pointing this out, I'll try to remember to do better.

[–] BatmanAoD 2 points 12 hours ago

I think it does make sense to make sure there's something substantive in the very first message, even if it's not a complete description of the problem or a concrete request for help.

And the message with my problem tends to be longer and take me more time to type, so there is a delay between "Hi" and the actual issue.

That makes perfect sense, and I see why the habit became so commonplace; but that's exactly why this is annoying to anyone who is highly responsive on a messaging app, especially if responding to requests for help is part of their professional work. They pay attention to their notifications, so the notifications are probably configured to be noisy. Checking a notification before it's actionable is a waste of their time, albeit a small one.

Plus, if you force yourself to start typing out the problem before hitting "send", you'll often understand the problem better by the time you finish typing. This doesn't generally mean that you will have solved the problem yourself (though of course that sometimes happens), but it does mean you'll have more context you can provide as part of the request. And sometimes, you'll think of something you want to check or investigate before sending the request for help, in which case you'll be glad you haven't sent a ping yet.

Finally, you can still split up your messages after typing them all out. Just "cut" all but what you want to send in the first message, send, paste, and repeat.

[–] Kissaki 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Mh, I don't think saying hello is the problem, only when it is the only thing. I've never heard of "no hello" as a concept before. And dislike the crossed out hello images on the club website. A respectful hello as an opener to the question seems appropriate.

What immediately came to mind is "Don't ask to ask, just ask". But that's not regarding a hello opener.

StackOverflow has "How do I ask a good question?". But that's very verbose and elaborative, very extensive.

Last time I looked for something similar I didn't get anything.

The form of how questions can or should be asked depends on context as well. So I'm not sure there's something that would fit all forms of communication or platforms.

What I would likely do, if I had the need for it, is prepare a text template to copy and paste like "[Hi/Hello.] Please write your full question context in one message so there's no round-trip delay or interruptions and the intended question message completeness is obvious."

If it's just occasionally I'll just write it then and there myself.