That I was as socially confident as other people seem to be, I don't care if it's all a facade, I want to be able to use the facade.
this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2024
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What helps me is knowing that everyone is fucking awkward.
I've met thousands upon thousands of people and I have never met anyone who is not socially awkward, just a lot of people who are socially skilled in different ways.
The people who don't come across as awkward are the people who acknowledge their awkwardness and own it, who give themselves an opportunity to fumble with their awkwardness and to get used to it the same way you do with any other difficult thing like math or reading or studying or dance or games.
I said all of that to say, not being awkward is not a talent, it is a skill, and you can learn it.
Like with most skills, one becomes confident with practice.
I'm a natural introvert and an only child and therefore has little practice of taking to others. I had no idea of how important small talk is. I learned by working in a bar, where social interaction can't really be dodged and found out that social interaction isn't that daunting as it seemed to me.
It still not my biggest hobby yet I'm not longer afraid of social interaction like I used to be.
I wish I was a dog for real.
Honestly, I'm not even a furry but it has to be exhilarating to be a big wolf or cat.
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I wish I was happy. Not even all of the time, just some?
Ugh, I feel this. I'm just so done.
Be able to draw fast. I'm hilariously slow at drawing 😂
Stay out of the wild West
I wish I were less anxious/self-conscious. It's weird because outwardly almost no one knows that I am. I'm charismatic and easy to talk to, a natural leader in the workplace (I've managed now at every job I've held) and I'm a loving and supportive father. But deep down I'm still self-conscious as hell. I experience a lot of spotlight syndrome and I feel like I dress frumpy, walk weird, etc. I have a lot of social anxiety and think every situation/confrontation is going to be a worst-case scenario. Had to take 5 weeks off of work for a stress fracture and allowed myself to believe leading up to it that my (typically supportive) boss was going to be angry or petty or challenge me over it. He was extremely supportive and told me to just take the time off and not to worry about putting out the fires at work.
I don't know how I conditioned myself to be like this. Probably a side-effecting of growing up fat and all the self-hate that came with it. I got rid of the fat a lot time ago, but I don't think that shit ever really left me. Fortunately my daughter does not share my lack of confidence. That kid is miles ahead of her peers and I'm so proud of her.
I wish I was more Christlike.
No matter what you believe about Christianity, you can't deny that He is a pretty good role model.
Fuckin guy had balls of titanium. Could tell off the cops to their faces and walk away.
Though it did catch up with him.
I mean He did have the last laugh
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I sometimes wish I could be social without feeling mentally and physically drained.
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Wish I could negotiate and haggle, I just don't want to, it doesn't feel good to me. I'd rather accept or refuse the offer and move on.
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I wish I didn't have an addictive personality. I just wanna be a casual heroin user, is that too much to ask for? I don't want to sell my mom's TV for another hit rather have a job and pay for my own scores. Ya know responsibly
I don't think think its necessarily an addictive personality that makes one susceptible to heroin. Heroin (especially in the format its consumed) is basically pure pleasure/heaven all at once since all the RoA are all IV/snort/smoke, anyone would end up with a problem after like a week.
Can I ask what heroin seems to be acting as a balm or buffer for?
Wish I wasn't depressed and anxious so I could do what normal people seem to do normally every they meanwhile it takes me a week if I have better episode.
Good health. But alas.
Not having any signs or traits of being neurospicy
I feel that. I wish I was neurotypical, cis, and mentally well :(
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I wish to know, what free will even is, and how it could be possible.
I seen a lot of people have this particular question and the question that I have for them is what isn't free will?
On the religious side you've got the people who are saying God knows everything so he already knows what you're going to do. On the science side you've got all humans are just chemicals in a hot dog casing.
My opinion is, either which way you look at it you are free to choose what you want to do.
Just because somebody can make you question the freedom of your choices does not mean that your choices are not born of free will.
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There's this nice dialog that's written by logician and taoist Raymund Smullyan that is about a man asking god to abscond him off free will. I will not spoil the plot but it has some great turns and offers insights on the absurdities and (im) possibilities of the desire not to have free will (and of talking to god).
It's a long read, mind you but it may give you more insight on what you want to know about.
https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/godTaoist.html
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Fitness/athleticism.
This for sure! I didn't appreciate my knees enough when they worked better.
I wish I was persuasive
A really old book, how to win friends and influence people, can teach you this.
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I wish I were more handy or had the mindset for tinkering and doing mechincal repairs. I lack the focus and spatial awareness to look at something, diagnose the problem, and effectively repair it or jury-rig a solution around it.
Same. Always been a dreamer and creative person, just never practical. Although, having the spirit is the first step, right?
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Normal joints
Mine are slightly misshapen due to genetics and this causes more frequent strains and injuries. It's a ticking time bomb for me needing really expensive surgery :(
Patience.
Everywhere I go people meander like zombies whether it’s walking, driving, shopping, etc. I can’t figure out why people are soooooo slow, do they have nothing to accomplish? It constantly puts me off, but it’s probably because I moved to a big city in the west (US) coast.
Someone made an offhand comment that I would be an otter if only I were more laid back.
And honestly, that made me kinda wish I could be more relaxed and chill. Everything just seems to important and stressful and difficult and intense to me... I wish I could just turn that all off and just let things happen to me as they come rather than fearing and planning for the future.
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Bigger tits would be nice. They’re not small, but I’m a boob girl and so it’d be nice.
I also wish I was better at selling myself and developing professional skills quickly.
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I wish my relationship wasn't so very, very, very, very bad. And I wish I could be independent financially and not trapped as I am.
You honestly have no idea how bad it can get. Don't ignore red flags.
I really struggle to answer this even though I have this constant feeling of something being wrong. I've been quite lucky with genetics and the things I've wanted to change that can be changed I pretty much already have.
I guess there are two things I'd like to even further improve on:
- I'd like to care less. I like myself the least when I get emotionally captured. I'd like to just be able to let it go and be teflon where nothing sticks.
- I'd like to naturally want to read more.
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Beauty
That I had all the energy needed to do things that make me happy. I have a lot of commitments that are more important but less fun than my hobbies. Every time I have to deal with those, it saps my energy for fun things.
Athleticism and the ability to be sufficiently social.
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