this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2024
657 points (96.3% liked)

Microblog Memes

5324 readers
4224 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 149 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

"What is up, dog?"

Side note: the opposite of cat isn't actually dog. The opposite of cat is goldfish. A goldfish loves water, is not fluffy, doesn't exterminate every bird for sport, will never knock your favorite coffee mug off your desk, not bipolar, and I'm not allergic to them.

[–] [email protected] 79 points 2 weeks ago (6 children)

The opposite of a cat is the absence of a cat ☝️

[–] [email protected] 49 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The opposite of cat is antimatter cat. When they come together, you have an explosion 18,000 times larger than Nagasaki.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The absence of a cat implies nothing is there. So the opposite of a cat is nothing (specifically nothing where a cat should have been).

So, another acceptable answer would be "what is up? Nothing."

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

The absence of a cat implies the absence of a cat. There could be a dog instead or a Gasplanet which has a species of conscious whales wearing silly hats rolling in the mud to communicate the need for a fruity beverage. It could be anything, it could be nothing. It is not possible, from the given facts, to come to any concrete conclusion besides that a cat, is in fact, absent.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I have a feeling, you are "Hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy" reader.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

There are several domestic cat breeds known for loving water; one is the Bengal.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] hex 59 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

If dog is not the opposite of cat, then why did everyone immediately know the answer is dog? Hmm 🤔

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

...when i was in second grade i wrote a book report on chocolate fever, in which the climax involved the protagonist taking vanilla pills, which were so obviously the opposite of chocolate to my eight-year-old perspective, but which no adults with whom i discussed the book found at all obvious...

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I seem to remember a youtube video from years ago explaining how things can be opposites in different ways, like glue is the opposite of scissors because of the use, red is the opposite of blue because of what they represent, etc.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

The wiki article lists a few categories like gradable words that exist on a spectrum (hot/cold), complementary or binary pairs with no spectrum (entrance/exit, moral/immoral), and relational types that only make sense in a certain context (teacher/student).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opposite_%28semantics%29

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've never thought this hard about this before and I'm finding myself suddenly glad that other people have. This is really neat.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

I didn't. I was like huh there is no opposite of cat, then read the title, then got even more confused... How does anyone think the answer is dog?

load more comments (7 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

What would be the opposite of any mammal? A carrot? A brick? A slime mold?

Does everything actually have an "opposite"?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

I'd say everything has several opposites, each in a different aspect.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

If we're following bizzaro world logic, the opposite of anything is the version that's stupid, or if you're stupid, then smart.

I imagine bizarro me is teaching physics in a prestigious university.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Humans (like most living things) like to put things in boxes to make navigating their environment simpler. Temperatures aren't really opposites because they're on a continuum, but we talk about hot and cold as opposites to bring order to environmental navigation. The same with presence and absence of light and bright/dark. So, extending this logic, the opposite of cat is the absence of cat, but that doesn't really make sense. If you cut a cat in half, are you halfway on a continuum from cat to the opposite of cat? If the cat is whole but has died, is it cat, opposite of cat, something else entirely? I have no idea, and no one else really does either. Brains are weird.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Pretty sure that's the answer to the anti life equation... nobody tell darkseid (゚ロ゚)

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I would phrase it as, "What is 'up' and 'dog?'" Being extra clear but ruining the joke.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

There are many ~~answers~~ questions the judges will accept, but only one correct ~~answer~~ question!

(Also happy cake day!)

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

tee isn't exactly the opposite of cat but I can't remember a command that only redirects screen output to a file.

What is up, tee?

edit: what's the opposite of "cd .."?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

cat is for concatenating files, so the opposite would be something that breaks a stream up into multiple files.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (6 children)

So, split.

Edit: although there's also tac, which could fit the bill as well.

load more comments (6 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (5 replies)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Not much, what's up with you?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago

Oh oh! I know this one since I play Slice and Dice!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

A dog will try to save your life if you're drowning. A cat will sit on your head to keep from getting wet while you're drowning.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago

head | tee

?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

What is up and what is png

each letter in PNG is exactly opposite the corresponding letter in CAT if the letter were equally distributed around a circle in alphabetical order.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Not much how about you.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

What is the opposite of a cat, then?

If your answer is, "it doesn't have one," then I nominate dog.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'd say mouse as there are many manic cat mouse duos like Itchy and Scratchy

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

That's a foil, not an opposite

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] riskable 5 points 2 weeks ago

The opposite of cat is >

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

The opposite of cat is cat.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

A better clue might be

This direction and pet combo became a common “gotcha” in the early 2000s.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Sure a better clue if you don't want the joke to work

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

The best answer would actually be "not much, what's up with you"

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Also the host does not ask the questions.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›