It'll be unavailable on Sundays.
Not The Onion
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
So can they stream live footage of tortured children from the anti-gay conversion camps they help fund? Maybe make people think twice about buying food there?
Probably... not? You get so much more money when you lie. So they'll say how much then are "helping them", "saving their souls" (cough Spanish Inquisition cough), and the like. Lying is just kinda like, their whole thing, ya'know, bless their whittle hearts!
Likely some C-suite person who feels like they are actually an innovator instead of yet another MBA with too much power. To prove it, they're going to start a service that no one will use at a company no one respects so that they can brag about their "greatness" to equally clueless investors.
Unless they have discovered a way to beam a chicken sandwich over the airwaves, through my TV and into my mouth this seems like the most pointless thing ever.
Nothing says "family fun" quite so well as content provided by homophobic chicken sandwich dealers.
I'd rather support Los Pollos Hermanos.
At least they have the decency to keep their shit behind closed doors.
Can't I'm pretty certain Wonka still has the patent.
This is what Edward Enigma was doing, but general brainwashing instead.
So it sounds like nobody in this thread looked at the actual article.
This isn't chic-fil-a. It's the homophobic bigoted billionaire asshole who has turned a town south of atlanta georgia to a 2.7 billion dollar movie making industry by building a movie making compound. He's trying to usurp hollywood. His studios have been the filming location for many major blockbuster movies in the past several years.
The article even mentions that the guy has sold 200 homes to the tune of 110 million dollars right by the studios so obviously he's diversifying beyond chicken.
If there's a market for christian shit i'm sure he'll capture it, but i'm sure they will focus on what sells. Maybe they will try to be the epic games of streaming services where they undercut the competition by hiring cheaper labor and taking a smaller cut from the people who pay to use the studios the guy owns.
Unlike steam, nobody loves netflix, disney, hbo or any of the awful streaming services there are now. Even crunchyroll which is a bargain has a fucking awful app and streaming quality issues. Since you don't "own" the movies on the platform you rent access to there's no lock-in or cult following like there is with steam. Because of all this... people will go to whoever provides the best service.
Seems you read an entirely different article...
Chick-fil-A is reportedly launching a
but that is apparently what Chick-fil-A (yes, the fast food chain) is planning to do.
Deadline reports that Chick-fil-A is
Chick-fil-A has yet to announce or publicly comment
All the article OP posted mentions, beyond saying Chick-fil-A is doing this, is:
But it feels important to bear in mind that Chick-fil-A is owned by the Cathy family, whose independently managed trust was instrumental in the foundation of Trilith Studios -- the Atlanta studio most well known for its frequent work for Marvel.
I'm not disputing what you've said about who's actually behind this; but to talk down to everyone here like that info was already given to them is rather shitty.
If there's a market for christian shit i'm sure he'll capture it
There is and he absolutely will. The market for "Christian" specific everything is huge. People that buy that sorta shit also generally don't know what a good product actually is so costs can be cut and noone's the wiser.
See: Everything Kevin Sorbo has done since 1996.
Sounds like they're trying to compete with Pureflix, which is already a Christian streaming service.
They're gonna make soooooo much cult money from this.
Makes about as much as Netflix's current attempts to muscle in on the gaming market, Epic-style.
Why I continue to be surprised by corporate decision-making is beyond me.
Why I continue to be surprised by corporate decision-making is beyond me.
"THEY MAKE LINE GO UP WITH STUFF.
ME WANT MAKE STUFF MAKE LINE GO UP TOO.
ME MAKE SAME STUFF THEY DO. SPEND BILLIONS TO MAKE LINE GO UP 2%
WHY WE LOSE MONEY?!"
At least that halfway makes sense. Netflix on a laptop means games too.
Introducing, from the makers of bigot chicken, bigot TV!
So, they are trying to speed run the failure of McDonald's experiment with Redbox. Instead of creating a massively successful brand that eventually gets bought up and run into the ground by Christian nutjobs, the Christian nutjobs are starting a video business to crater on their own.
They already run what seems to be every other post on Reddit, so why not streaming, too.
Sorry what do you mean by this?
So, you know how Reddit has posts? Well something like 53% of those Reddit posts are posted by chick-fil-a agents for various reasons.
Ever since they won the chicken sandwich wars of the early 20s they’ve been focused on invading media spaces, often quite aggressively.
Reddit is essentially a chicken sandwich propaganda wing of the massive chicken chain at this point, still quite a bit of porn though luckily. Can’t say I’m looking forward to chicken sandwich porn 🤷♂️
They may have won the chicken sandwich wars, but Taco Bell will be the only restaurant to survive the franchise wars.
And with no more competition, they'll go all fancy. Makes one wonder where you'd be able to get a decent burger anymore.
Chicken sandwich porn? When Popeyes came out with their sandwich, there was a trending video on Pornhub soon after titled “PAWG let me Fuck her for a Popeyes Chicken Sandwich”. The Internet beat you to that.
Is it called Flick-fil-A?
They should hire you instead of whoever came up with the bonehead idea of starting a streaming service.
Is it wrong that my dream for this is that it solely pays for development of incredibly gay coded TV shows, that the owners are too homophobic to recognize?
I don't wish that on any fabulous creatives, but I do wish that for all the money Chik-Fil-A is gonna waste on this.
I guarantee you they are doing this to specifically generate more cis/hetero content and will keep a close eye on that.
will keep a close eye on that.
Agreed. But, to clarify, I am also calling them stupid and uninformed.
On its face, the idea of the company launching an entire streaming service filled with feel-good stories just to sell chicken is a bit odd. But it feels important to bear in mind that Chick-fil-A is owned by the Cathy family, whose independently managed trust was instrumental in the foundation of Trilith Studios — the Atlanta studio most well known for its frequent work for Marvel.
Chik-fil-A is owned by oligarchs. I guess I’m one of the lucky 10,000 today.
"ChikFilA launching indoctrination vehicle for religious but mostly politically conservative causes"
Family friendly unscripted programs.
Are we talking '90s Nickelodeon, or real housewives of the rust belt?
We should be so lucky to get 90s Nickelodeon! No, I think the article said it's going to be mostly original programming so it's a safe bet whatever it is will be like Hallmark on steroids
Hallmark is an abomination to everything decent in the world. The movie channel, not the cards I mean:-).
Also, I'm literally struggling imagining how it could possibly get more saccharine than it already is?! Hasn't it reached peak levels of evilness already, at which point where would they even go from there?
Probably just videos where you watch gay people get beat up (nonbinary and such would be too confusing to them to even watch). So "Christian" S&M.
The tops in boys. Short everything. Capitalism has finally reached the endgame.
Chick-fil-A is owned by the Cathy family, whose independently managed trust was instrumental in the foundation of Trilith Studios — the Atlanta studio most well known for its frequent work for Marvel.
Translation, they're friendly with Perlmutter. Wish that bastard would just up and croak already. Bet you a shiny penny their "feel good" entertainment will have a load of Christian messaging peppered in (read, anti-lgbtq+). Fuck those homophobes and their stupid ass chicken.
Steaming Service. For steamed chicken.
Oh wow, this might steal the attention of the five people who watch Pure Flix /s
I mean everyone else is... Why the hell not!
Sounds like it'll be family friendly game shows and Christian reality TV.
Honestly, that might actually be a profitable model they could make work, if they don't fuck the infrastructure up, or allow cousin Billy to expose himself to female contestants on 3 different reality shows they're producing.