this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 49 comments
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[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Oh shit, at long last a job opening I'm fucking qualified for!

  1. I'm chill. Whiskeys more my jam but I'll drink whatever.

  2. Fuckin love industrial.

  3. I'm so down to do crimes in Japan that ive already done quite a few

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

In that case, what's a few more then?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago
[–] Zink 1 points 5 months ago

I read #3 in Jeff Gerstmann’s voice.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago (1 children)

You son of a bitch, I’m in.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I wonder what prison food in Japan is like…

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

cabbage tofu soup, rice, pickles, and kelp fish bone soup.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Honestly sounds better than American prison food. At least this sort of diet will keep you in somewhat decent health.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (2 children)

One of the catering companies I worked for was in the running for a contract to provide food for 3 for-profit prisons. My boss showed me some of the menus he was working on for it and I nearly fell over laughing because he's doing stuff like "Pan seared salmon with farro and grilled vegetable salad." Apparently no one had told him the target food cost was 7 cents per meal.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

Those contracts are predetermined anyway. It's all part of the scam of for-profit prisons.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I’ve seen some pictures of inmates food online and the best way to describe is probably “looks like state-sponsored school lunches, except far worse”.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Okay, but only if I'm guaranteed 12 wacky substories a year and the undying friendship of a strangely business savvy chicken.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Just DON'T go to the tour office in Hawaii 😳

[–] stembolts 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I like drawings of flowers as well, I understand this is popular among Yakuza, and I have my own supply of JNCOs. That's it, I'm joining the Yakuza.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Wait are JNCOs a part of it? I could be convinced if they are. They're so stupid looking but I loved mine.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I was on the fence until now. JNCO's, old Tool, and crime? I'm back in my glory days.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Beer, deftones, and TOOL?

Where do I sign?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Typical... They didn't list the pay

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The pay is free tattoos for life and a place on Japan’s most wanted list.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Throw in an annual pizza party and $5 Wal Mart gift card for Christmas and I WILL DIE FOR YOU

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

You got a deal, friend. Here's your pizza.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

okay.. early nine inch nails..

lol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

Dont they chop off fingers as a sign of dedication iirc

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I heard it was a way to show how sorry you were for fucking something up or dishonouring your family. You'd present your severed pinky to your boss as an appology. Apparently it's not done much anymore. I've played all the Yakuza games so I'm basically an expert.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I recently watched a great documentary about the Yakuza (on Arte) and apparently that ritual is increasingly considered old-fashioned among the Yakuza, or what's left of them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Yes, it took eighty years but they eventually realized making their Yakuza affiliation obvious to everyone could hinder some of the criming.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

how else would you show your dedication?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

How do you show you are more dedicated than fingers in case you want a raise?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I've already given up my foreskin. Is that good enough?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I believe it's the first joint of one? Pinky finger.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

early Nine Inch Nails

Excuse me? The Yakuza got beef with the middle and late NIN eras? Get fucked! I'll kick your ass for such bullshit! Online! Only..! Online!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Hell yeah. Gimme a job looking at uncensored hentai 😎

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

What're the benefits and salary of this position?

Do I need to provide my own Samurai sword, or will one be provided by the Clan?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Just call the phone number provided on the flyer to find out…

Oh

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

It's one of those things where a guy knows a guy, and they'll contact you in a dark alley outside a Pachinko shop.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

There are no contact details :(

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

You just gotta find the guy in the picture and apply in person I guess.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

Welcome to the Fantasy Zone. Get ready.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Bull fucking shit. As if they wouldn't also listen to Boris

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

What kind of crimes? I'll steal a candy bar or Jay walk with yah. I'm usually pretty busy on days felonies are gonna be committed though. Any other day though I'll help you get that anpanman pero pero candy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Not familiar with Deftones. Any recommendations?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago

White pony album, front to back

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

Around the Fur album

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I think their most widely known song is 'my own summer'

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

koi no yokan? maybee

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

I'm good for 1 and 2...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

Damn, I'm only one of these things.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago