this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

I love how JS is just a mutant blob of flesh.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Tetsuoooooo

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

I like Javascript... but it is certainly an unholy amalgamation of mismatched parts that, in the end, can get pretty much anything done if you don't mind 100+ node dependencies.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Should've made s typescript one, that is a mutant blob of flesh with a life jacket on it.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago (3 children)

This is awesome. Rust wearing full plate armor to dinner is hilarious... Also what's up with Scala? lmao

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Well, obviously she was already in full plate armor when her friends called, so why take it out?

[–] tatterdemalion 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I assume Scala is like a "gateway" (drug) to functional programming by way of also supporting imperative and object oriented paradigms.

[–] BatmanAoD 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Probably more importantly, it runs on the JVM and is designed to interoperate with existing Java code. (FWIW, I actually think they made a major mistake in how they handle null Java objects, and that Kotlin did better here; but Kotlin is much newer.)

[–] tatterdemalion 1 points 9 months ago

Oh good point I totally forgot it's a JVM lang.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Ouuu. This makes sense to me, well thought

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

And being the designated driver.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

My experience in going from C to C++ was different: if you're not converting everything from mallocs with custom addressing systems to the collections framework, you're not living.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (2 children)

My experience with C++ was when C++ was a relatively new thing. Practically the only notable feature provided by the standard library, was that unholy abuse of bit shift operators for I/O. No standard collections or any other data types.

And every compiler would consider something else a valid C++ code or interpret the same code differently.

I am little bit prejudiced since then… and that is probably where the author is coming from too.

Then things were just getting more complicated (templates and other new syntax quirks), to fill the holes in attempts to make C a 'high level language'.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

C++ from 11 onwards started to really shine and since C++17 it's got some good shit inside

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yeah wtf is up with the overridden bitshifts? Was Stroustroup drunk?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago

It's a syntax sugaring and it reads pretty well in my eyes - it's really obvious what is meant by that syntax.

[–] tatterdemalion 8 points 9 months ago

Erlang really is the necromancer's language.

Why is Swift... like that?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Thanks for a good morning laugh!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

This is epic.

Can anyone explain Java, PHP and Perl to me?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Java is extremely widespread in corporate companies - hence the suit and tie. Perl is fair to liken to spelunking deep into a dark cave with only your wits to save you.

PHP seems to be a reference to the fact that it's extremely common on servers... but it also might be a lazy phpbad joke - it's pretty weak either way (if you wanted to play into the server characteristic give it a dozen arms serving the entire restaurant in the background).

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago (1 children)

As a Perl dev, I dunno if that's how I'd characterize the language, but I'll take it over yet another "Perl is unreadable line noise lol and what's the deal with airline food" reference.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago

Yeah, to be honest you can write good code in any language and it'll usually look pretty similar... all the perl stereotypes come from having to maintain shell scripts from someone kludging their way through learning to code... it's the same reason why phpbad, amateurs could get into webdev with php so there's an impression that all php is the php written by amateurs.

Also, bear in mind that over time these languages have converged through feature additions "LISP has functional programming - why can't PHP have first class functions... oh traits look neat, let's add that... you know those statically typed languages sure seem nice..."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

That seems to be the consensus. That's pretty weak, salad people, you know you could have done better.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Everyone hates on PHP and JavaScript.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

JS, at least, deserves it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (3 children)

How do you feel about TypeScript

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

U can try and polish a turd if ya want.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Well, what TYPE of turd is it? ;)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

You better catch that.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Better. Of course, it's just built over top, so you can still get JavaScript issues in TypeScript, and it's not necessarily going to be obvious. This is particularly an issue if you call JavaScript libraries, which I'm told is standard practice.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

A more polished unholy list of depencies?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

The Javascript reference could be read as how every project ends up with an unholy list of npm dependencies - it's awful to look at but it works.

I think the PHP reference was just "idk servers or something?"

[–] nieceandtows 4 points 9 months ago (4 children)

So, what makes Haskell god tier?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago

Purely functional programming is a pathway to many abilities OOP devs consider to be... Unnatural

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

I think it's more the idea of being an abstract ideal. It's totally pure and often mathematical.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Nothing...that's just how they perceive themselves.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

IMO the ackchyually guy would be a better fit for Haskell. "Ackchyually monad is a monoid in the category of endofunctors!"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

I love Lisp dialects!