Ask Lemmy

ima be real chief it ain't gonna fuckin matter if I go spend $30 or not on an electronic gadget once in a while, the chances of me landing in home ownership are still gonna be 0.0%. fuck it we ball, i might as well have toys to play with that makes the tism happy

I am fully disconnected from that mentality and do not miss it. I used to waste a lot of time around shopping for needless and pointless nonsense.

I will spend a whole lot more on things I really need or want, but I don't feel like I am a target for marketing in any way now. My last major purchase was an AI capable computer which was likely due to YT and Reddit manipulated suggestions and visibility. I don't regret that one. Since I quit reddit in June, I have also pulled way back with YT. I'm on Linux/Graphene and my primary network connection is though a whitelist firewall. That seems to be just enough to stop the subconscious motivations and desires for stuff I don't actually care anything about like this.

It may be an unpopular opinion, but the best and brightest psych majors are going into advertising for a damn good reason, and it ain't making prettier HTML banner ads like it's 1999.

I recommend having a long think about that whole buying little things makes an emotion paradigm and start asking yourself what could be the causes of such behaviors and how they might have been intentional manipulation across platforms and information spaces. There is a reason why data stalking companies are so pervasive and everyone wants you to use an app where they have constant sensor data from your device.

I once read

we as a society work 40+ hours a week . Spend little to no time doing the things we love. It's a struggle every day. And because we are in this constant state of "grind" we shop for items that give us temporary happiness.

We are meat in a meat grinding machine from early age to nearly death. No one consented to it... It just is. So spend that $5 or that $1500 on something that gives you happiness. Because at the end of it all.. it's the ride that matters not where you end up.

It also needs to be said... We are a culture of consumerism. We all must buy and buy and buy to keep the economy afloat. So the game has been rigged to make you want to spend.

Good luck op

Budgeting won't get you a house. Earning an unusually high amount of money (and that amount keeps growing) gets you a house eventually, if you still budget when you get that income.

The way I learned it is, most people who make a budget forget the value of fun. Make sure your bills are covered, save what you can, and also set aside some money for fun.

Paying a streaming service subscription, buying a little something to eat or drink when meeting with friends, buying fun gadgets you can enjoy, and buying hobby supplies would all be worthwhile uses of money set aside for fun.

Last year I got really into freshwater aquarium keeping as a hobby. So I find myself buying little plants, decor, tools, etc for my aquariums (of which I have 5 now...). It's fun, a bit expensive but it's therapeutic.

I also smoke hella weed.

No, I hate buying things. It literally feels bad, and I put it off as long as I can or group it together so I can get it over with all at once.

I'm more-or-less inured to grocery shopping, and do it every other day, but it's easier to think of it as "restocking" rather than "shopping". No decisions to make, I know in advance what things cost, and so on.

But buying something I haven't bought before, or at a store I haven't been to before? Torture.

We only have so much time on this earth. Why not enjoy the little things? Even if technically it's garbage. The important thing is to just not go too wild with it.

Ukuleles and stuff from the Aldi middle aisle

I bought an Adventure is Nigh t-shirt. I'm 53 and staring down decline, decrepitude, and a dystopian present, let alone future. I've just now in 2024 fully recovered from the 2008 downturn. Fuck it, I'm getting a t-shirt.

Hope your Friday night is treating you right. ✌️

Sure. Small random grocery store things like stroopwafel or pears

Consumerism has replaced community. Instead of visiting a friend I go for a walk alone, but I live in a city so the only place to walk is among the stores. And the walk feels meaningless if I don't buy something.

I have many sweaters. But maybe I could go buy another sweater.

Plants, more plants! Preferably trees, endemic or edible that I can't fit on my property but guerilla garden into my local area.

Also, the occasional coffee.

If you're worried the best thing to do is make a proper budget. Make sure every penny you earn is accounted for in there.

Give yourself a certain amount in the budget to buy random stuff each month. Let it roll over each month so if you don't spend it all you have more next month.

Removes any guilt as you know everything is covered.

Yes. I have a separate paypal account i use for for some micro jobs I do (think r/beermoney) and that account is my "fun money". I buy things on steam sales, amazon, ebay with that balance and dont think twice. Its usually around $20-30 per week. If I have an exceptionally good week microtasking (which normally means I had a slow week in my regular jobs) I'll move some money to my normal account rather than blow it on toys.

I do it particularly when I'm having a life period where I'm feeling stuck or stagnant. Essentially become a consumer whore as a coping mechanism.

Weed

Of course. If this is what reinforces other positive behaviors keep it up. I keep myself on a contract for larger items. (For every month I complete 100 study hours and meet my work hours, I get a pair of converse) :)

I buy random things way more than I should. Always seems like a good idea at the time, even when 90% of these splurges ends up being something I definitely didn’t need. Alas, the dopamine hits from painstakingly researching and identifying the perfect, useless item are all too real. Bought a three pack (it was a crazy discount to buy in a pack of 3) of 6 outlet, low-profile plug, surge protectors.

Outlets in my house are somehow always on walls where I need something pushed against them. Anywho, you should not beat yourself up over some deodorant, is all I’m getting at.

Buying stuff makes me feel sooo guilty, so no for me. But I know most people do that

No I try to only buy what I need and look for long term value in purchases. I do spend on experiences such as traveling as I find it rewarding.

Little things, not so much. But when it comes to hobbies, especially ones that get me moving and exercising, I feel perfectly fine spending money on something that will make me feel better.

For example, lately I've been considering getting a road bike again even though I already have a gravel bike (that I plan to keep).

I tend to have unfortunately expensive hobbies... Photography, cars and other forms of offroad vehicles, etc. So I don't usually spend money on small things that aren't necessities.

I am getting into motorcycle riding, which gear itself is rather expensive if you want to not be grated cheese, plus the bike, training, etc. So that's my expensive purchase this year.

My hobbies tend to keep me out of the house, so I guess in a way this helps keep me from going insane.

A gadget or a shirt are practical things. I'll buy those things and not think about it at all. Especially if I need the gadget or a new shirt. But there's a bunch of crap I do not need that tempts me. Junk I know will be fun for all of 5 minutes before it ends up in a drawer or my closet. I've managed to stop myself wasting money on stuff like that, but there's still that moment of "oh shit that's cool I should get one" before giving it further thought.

Even games and entertainment devices are practical things. But if you're buying like 20 PS5's you might have a problem.

Yeah, I always try to improve my everyday carry a little bit here and there… a better wallet, a nice compact pen, a little gadget that fits in my pocket, a pocket knife, etc. I try to carry as much as I can without carrying an extra pouch or bag or feeling like my pockets are stuffed and bulging, so I really prioritize small functional things that fit in my wallet or on my keychain. If I’m feeling spendy, I usually go for that and can find something for ~$30 bucks. Then I get to be excited for it to arrive in the mail.

I like buying and owning some stuff, sure, but not being able to do so doesn't not make me go/feel insane.

Sometimes guilt creeps in but then I remember I am allowed to own and enjoy things that have no other purpose than to be enjoyed. I don't come from money, lived a very frugal life with my parents and while I went to private school all the way through college it was through scholarships and what not.

So maybe I am justifying myself, which is fine too, but now that I can have a bit of extra change and not be a starving student I know there are some stuff that I am willing to buy for whatever reason. This will not make me poorer or richer.

No way, I very rarely buy junk that I don't need. Spending money makes me feel bad. I just buy what I need. If it's something I REALLY want, then the pleasure of getting that thing might offset the unpleasantness of spending money, but it's a calculated decision. For example I might buy 2 or 3 video games per year to help keep me entertained, but I won't blow my money on tons of games I'll never play during sales. If I see something in a store and think it looks cool or useful, I'll normally just go home and think about it. I will usually decide that it's just junk that I don't need or want. If I really do want it, it will still be there later.

Shiney 3d printer filament. I keep stock of a typical ROYGBV, brown, black, white... But then shiney cyan goes on sale for 25% off. I don't need it but, you know, it's pretty and on sale.

I buy as little as possible in terms of I try to buy only what I need but I will always spend more for better quality or a better product within reason. Convenience food is just that, I buy it based on time being short.

I don't buy things just for buyings sake, but things I actually enjoy. Look, we can all die at any moment. There can be an accident or so. It's important to enjoy life. If you just save all your money and don't enjoy some of it and you die unexpectedly, saving it was a huge waste. You would have held back for nothing.

Good little consumer, happyness comes from owning crap.

You'll probably never have a house. Better rip that bandaid off quick. Lol

I buy things occasionally, yes. I've been trying to prioritize though, and also have been really focusing on dealing with my old stuff too. I've basically made a self-imposed rule of selling/donating/reimplementing the old things, which allows me to better focus on the new things and not feel so bad about it. Being materialistically responsible is something I wished I'd learned earlier in life. I've still got a long way to go, but the progress I've made has helped tremendously.

A Jellycat Dexter. So adorable but silly expensive for a cuddly thing (I was rewarding myself after having to go into hospital for an invasive test).

When I was growing up, if I wanted anything it was, "do you need it?". This was drilled into me so much I feel a bit guilty for buying random things even though I can afford them, and I always think long and hard about purchases very rarely buying anything on impulse. Usually I see something and have to go back (weeks) later to buy it after it has been playing on my mind.

That's colloquially referred to as retail therapy. I don't think occasionally indulging in it is bad as long as you're cognizant of its purpose as a coping mechanism and understand the relief/pleasure it provides probably isn't going to be long-lasting.

In my family, all impulse purchases had to be "justified" with whatever flimsy reasoning was necessary. I don't think that's any better and if it's not coming at the expense of things you actually need, it's good to be able to decide you want something just because you do. Otherwise you can start going down the path of, "Do I really need cheese on this burger? Do I really need variety in my food? Do I really need to be eating three times a day?"

Life should be lived, just don't lose sight of the big picture of course. Also, I'm sure other people around you approve of your buying deodorant :)

Last thing? Well, it's driving me insane.
I ordered this CD: https://www.discogs.com/release/14937649-Shostakovich-Royal-Concertgebouw-Orchestra-Riccardo-Chailly-The-Jazz-Album

But PayPal keeps rejecting my card after I confirm 3D secure in my banking app with "Your bank couldn't verify your card...". I tried guest payment option under "PayPal" payment which did briefly show up even for my region. "To complete this purchase, use another way to pay or check this account at the card issuer before retrying it."
So I contacted Discogs support, described my issue, and whoever at their ZenDesk just copy-pasted the answer to where the checkout button is. I responded with a screenshot of the error, and got no response.
Just to make sure it's not on my side, I tried donating some money to Linux Mint, also via PayPal. Guess what, that worked

It's been 2 days now, and I am still unable to pay. So instead of some nice little thing, it's just yet another issue.
It's not the first time though. I am done with Discogs. Even some sellers are now leaving due to excessive fees and lack of support. For me it's their shitty decision to rely on PayPal.