Turned into a skeleton in 10 minutes
this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
660 points (96.7% liked)
Programmer Humor
22291 readers
865 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Yeah, also each query request was a human beeing. Such an unrealistic comic.
🏳️⚧️
Also rings don't make you invisible.
Not to mention, mysql is a database management framework, while in the comic it's a food stand! Absurd!
Not queries, programs. They have pid
Shoot, you are ~~right~~ wrong. They are processes.
Ah FUCK- mind said process, fingers typed program. But most of the time they are equivalent
The thing is, at first I actually, responded with "you are right". See, humans make errors. Also, this isn't a competence competition. (At least I hope so.)
If a query does not take 30 min does it even exist?
The waiting is how you know its giving you correct answers.
Exactly lol. If it's instant you know you fucked up
ca. 150'000'000'0000 CPU cycles.
Got sigkill-ed. But of course, this doesn't cancel the request
8 JOINS???? ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE
You guys are only using 8 joins?
No, they are using an ORM.
It’s fine if they’re indexed correctly…
I worked on an enterprise wide medical record system for seventeen years.
It had 10000 tables in the schema. Our particular setup populated 1500 of them. ( yes I meant tables).
8+plus happened...
:(
So are you using FHIR yet?
Lol, is funny you ask. I mainly worked on interfaces.
The medical industry makes the banking industry look nimble.
The organization had a couple interfaces using the protocol when I left. But adoption is slow, just about everyone still uses HL7. But it has been a couple years.
I asked because I've been working in the same field for 10 years, interfaces as well. You can count our FHIR interfaces on one hand, the rest is DICOM, HL7 or proprietary.
What it feels like to smoke 8 joins
This is fantastic and incredibly well made. Does anyone have the source?
Tried looking. According to one of the users who posted it its by 0x00 whos the person who made floor 796. All things I can find relating to them are floor 796 related though and can't find where this was originally posted
Heres floor 796 though if anyones interested https://floor796.com
If your views aren't nested joins on views on views on views with group bys with wildcard text matching are you even trying to enter hell?
Exactly. I once worked with a junior developer who had constructed a simple reusable view with test coverage. I don't think they were even trying to make a pact with the nether realm. I'm just not sure what SQL is coming to these days.
Absolute amateur
Should have used Postgres...
True true...
Say it with me everyone, INDICES
Quick roll back the transaction
MongoDB, on the other hand, is web scale.