Roasted bean juice, thank you very much. It's only burnt if it's from starbucks

I'm open to trying well-prepared not over-roasted coffee, but I have tried coffee (in general, undefined) many times and have yet to find it pleasant.

Funny enough, so far the only thing I've found close to enjoyable was espresso, but it's never been the bitterness of coffee that bothers me (I tend to like more bitter things than average). I can almost enjoy espresso.

You might as well be drinking coca cola if you're going that way.

(I am open to recommendations)

Imo, recommending a good tea to a stranger is kind of like recommending a good song to a stranger. Without knowing more, it's just a shot in the dark. Maybe I'll recommend the greatest rap song of all time but you're strictly a country guy, you know what I mean? And I'm just an enthusiastic tea enjoyer, nothing close to an expert. But sure, I'll do my best.

First and foremost, if you have a tea shop in your area or a grocery store with a really robust loose tea section, ignore everything else I'm about to say after this paragraph and just go ask to smell some teas. Trust your nose and buy small quantities of 3 or 4 that smell appealing or like they might taste nice to you. Although I would recommend trying to steer clear of falling for sweet or "novelty" smells at this stage such as anything that smells super fruity. These might be great teas, but personally I'd start trying to form more concrete opinions on kind of "baseline teas" before muddying up the experience too much, although don't be afraid of herbal teas or ones with singular and more subtle accent flavors. If the loose tea containers don't have tea preparation instructions on them, ask a staff member. I'll mention a bit more about prep at the end here.

If you don't have that kind of access or just want to walk in and buy a box of tea bags, here are some basic beginner-friendly recommendations:

Lady Grey - You've probably at least heard of earl grey, but in my opinion it can be a little intimidating to start and bit fussier to prepare than some other varieties, but lady grey is a delightful more gentle take on the classic.

Bigelow Constant Comment - Look, this tea isn't going to blow your socks off, but it's not meant to. But what it is is a very solid, middle-of-the-road, classic baseline tea that's easy to prepare well and hard to mess up. A very solid standard choice.

Orange & Cinnamon - Any brand, doesn't have to be Twinings, they're just consistent and regularly available. Getting a bit more into the fruit and spice flavor here, but this is always excellent and taste like autumn memories.

Jamine Pearls - Doesn't matter the brand here at all. You'll probably be able to find them in pyramid tea bags, but these don't actually require tea bags. These are an excellent starter green tea as they tend to be mild, and watching the pearls unravel is a famously pleasant tea-drinker experience. Not everyone's vibe, but definitely worth trying.

Mighty Leaf African Nectar - This one is a little bit harder to find, and is technically an herbal tea (a tea made of non-tea plant leaves and materials), but is absolutely wonderful, and super beginner-friendly. If you can't find this, look for any "rooibos" teas that contain the words "honey" and/or "red" without too many superfluous flavors.

As for making the tea, look, I know this will sound obvious, but read the package and follow the directions. For some reason when it comes to both tea and pasta, people constantly think they know better than industry experts, do their own thing, and then complain about the results. Every tea is going to have its own preparation preferences, so it really is best to trust the experts, at least at first. After you've had a cup or two as recommended, then you can adjust to your own preference; I personally know I like to steep my teas a bit longer to make them a bit stronger and more bitter, but you gotta get that baseline first to know how to adjust. And then for serving, I'm a sugar guy myself. Not a ton, but even just a tiny amount can significantly enhance the flavor. Honey is a good option too, but doesn't pair great with every tea in my opinion. And for some reason a lot of Americans get weird and pissing contest-y about taking their tea black, but don't be afraid to try a splash of milk or half & half, just start small and increase in small increments until you find what you like. Personally I go no dairy about 90% of the time, but the times I do feels like a nice treat. If you've got Brunost on hand, drop a square of that in your cup, trust me, and a stroopwafel is never a bad addition either.

And sweet tea is an entirely different beast which I am extremely passionate about and of which none of the above applies, fyi.

Pure uncut methamphetamine.