JaymesRS

joined 1 year ago
MODERATOR OF
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 day ago

It’s a good thing Dijon mustard is too spicy for his midwestern tastes, right? Don’t have to worry about that potential fiasco.

 
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

No, the trunk will stop it.

Also, everyone knows elephants can’t shoot, so why would they need a gun. 🤔

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 days ago

Great idea, hey everyone, we’re going to use doingthestuffs dick to stop bullets now. That way your finger doesn’t get stuck in the barrel no matter how smooth it is.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

WOOO!!! Free Malaria in Egypt!!!

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago (24 children)

And they don’t publicly undercut the old bosses while being second in charge especially in sensitive diplomatic situations.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Is that the one where “Han” “upgrades” the Falcon to a Cybertruck because it “totally has more storage, bro!”

[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Unlike a person, a horse’s hoof will totally only fit in an elephant gun or a howizer, everyone knows that the elephant gun bullets only stop if the elephant puts their trunk in the barrel and the horse would need to be on a ladder for the howitzer. Horses can’t climb ladders, silly.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Sure, but at some point you need to acknowledge that though you can lead a horse to water, you can’t stick their hoof in the barrel of a gun to stop a bullet.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

99 ÷ 2 = 92 though, right?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 3 days ago (5 children)

One person even noted how kids fingers are smaller and most adult’s fingers wouldn’t fit in the barrel.. lol. That’s what the pinky is for, it’s smol for a reason, duh.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Historically (dating back to the 1600s) it could also be used for tithing or taxing one tenth of an amount too. Are you executing their money?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

![https://media1.giphy.com/media/vO43NDjeQPaQo/giphy.gif?cid=9b38fe91dls2uphre6knaki1w9xgjsppo46n0b1wio6c2ssf&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g](Neil from “White Collar” loves it when we’re on the same page.)

 

The Green Party leader has hired a GOP consulting firm and worked with Trump-affiliated lawyers.

29
Minnesota Explainer (literature.cafe)
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

With Walz officially the VP now, what things do we need to explain to those who only see MN as a flyover state? The DFL party? Duck, Duck, Grey Duck? Our pride in our confederate flag? Lutheran sushi? Hotdish? Talking about the ‘91 Halloween blizzard? Ice fishing?

 

A missing God.

A library with the secrets to the universe.

A woman too busy to notice her heart slipping away.

Carolyn's not so different from the other people around her. She likes guacamole and cigarettes and steak. She knows how to use a phone. Clothes are a bit tricky, but everyone says nice things about her outfit with the Christmas sweater over the gold bicycle shorts.

After all, she was a normal American herself once.

That was a long time ago, of course. Before her parents died. Before she and the others were taken in by the man they called Father.

In the years since then, Carolyn hasn't had a chance to get out much. Instead, she and her adopted siblings have been raised according to Father's ancient customs. They've studied the books in his Library and learned some of the secrets of his power. And sometimes, they've wondered if their cruel tutor might secretly be God.

Now, Father is missing—perhaps even dead—and the Library that holds his secrets stands unguarded. And with it, control over all of creation.

As Carolyn gathers the tools she needs for the battle to come, fierce competitors for this prize align against her, all of them with powers that far exceed her own.

But Carolyn has accounted for this.

And Carolyn has a plan.

The only trouble is that in the war to make a new God, she's forgotten to protect the things that make her human.

Populated by an unforgettable cast of characters and propelled by a plot that will shock you again and again, The Library at Mount Char is at once horrifying and hilarious, mind-blowingly alien and heartbreakingly human, sweepingly visionary and nail-bitingly thrilling—and signals the arrival of a major new voice in fantasy.

Amazon Kobo B&N

 

Among the ashes of a dying world, an agent of the Commandment finds a letter. It reads: Burn before reading.

Thus begins an unlikely correspondence between two rival agents hellbent on securing the best possible future for their warring factions. Now, what began as a taunt, a battlefield boast, becomes something more. Something epic. Something romantic. Something that could change the past and the future.

Except the discovery of their bond would mean the death of each of them. There’s still a war going on, after all. And someone has to win. That’s how war works, right?

Cowritten by two beloved and award-winning sci-fi writers, This Is How You Lose the Time War is an epic love story spanning time and space.

 

From the breakout SFF superstar author of Murderbot comes a remarkable story of power and friendship, of trust and betrayal, and of the families we choose.

"I didn't know you were a... demon."

"You idiot. I'm the demon."

Kai's having a long day in Martha Wells' WITCH KING....

After being murdered, his consciousness dormant and unaware of the passing of time while confined in an elaborate water trap, Kai wakes to find a lesser mage attempting to harness Kai’s magic to his own advantage. That was never going to go well.

But why was Kai imprisoned in the first place? What has changed in the world since his assassination? And why does the Rising World Coalition appear to be growing in influence?

Kai will need to pull his allies close and draw on all his pain magic if he is to answer even the least of these questions.

He’s not going to like the answers.

WITCH KING is Martha Wells’s first new fantasy in over a decade, drawing together her signature ability to create characters we adore and identify with, alongside breathtaking action and adventure, and the wit and charm we’ve come to expect from one of the leading writers of her generation.

At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

 
 

S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos®.

But when Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, S.T. starts to think something's not quite right. His tried-and-true remedies—from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis—fail to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he suddenly discovers that the neighbors are devouring one other. Local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of Seattle's dangerous new predators.

Humanity's extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a cowardly crow whose only knowledge of the world comes from TV.

What could possibly go wrong?

 
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