this post was submitted on 27 Feb 2024
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Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 117 points 8 months ago (4 children)

I recall this question coming up on Reddit with some regularity (no pun intended). The typical answer I saw was something like "your rectum has a really strong immune system"

[–] [email protected] 89 points 8 months ago (4 children)

Rectum? Damn near killed um

[–] [email protected] 65 points 8 months ago (1 children)

They hate us cuz they anus.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

Butt, butt what?

We don’t love them holes

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Reddit tier comment

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 8 months ago (1 children)

That's what I remember reading, too. I think that particular area gets its own lymph node system or something like that. Similar to how our head and neck have their own dedicated system.
Those areas are prone to bacteria, so they get beefed up protections.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Something kinda like that. They're called Peyer's Patches, and they're like a base of operations for immune cells. They not only gather there, but they also scout out the bacteria present by reaching through the intestinal lining and pulling some of the stuff through.

Also, a lot of bacteria in our guts aren't really trying to get into our system. The intestinal epithelium produces mucus to prevent bacteria from getting close to the intestinal lining, and most bacteria are pretty chill with that

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Damn, it's gotta suck to be born an immune cell and get assigned to work out of the butthole for your short life.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

It suck to be an immune cell in general. Many disease-causing bacteria have evolved ways to subvert and kill immune cells in spectacular ways. And immune cells generally just have pretty short lifespans to begin with

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Yep. I recall the same thing. More immune system stuff hangs out around your butthole all ready to woop some ass.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 35 points 8 months ago

β€œRub onto hands until dry”

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

Papercut detector

[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago

Hot sauce dispenser.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Hand sanitizer

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Spicy bidet.

[–] [email protected] 74 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

That part of the body, like your mouth, has features that greatly reduce the chance of infection because they are the entry and exit points for foreign objects or waste. It is complicated how it all works, but in short your body really needs those parts to bot get infected, so it adapted ways to keep that from happening.

That was the explanation I got from the doc when mine first showed up.

Edit: All hail the rise of the butt bots!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I'd hate my rectum to become bot infected.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Noo my rectum has become part of the botnet for the Chinese Communist Party 😩 why does this keep happening

[–] [email protected] 38 points 8 months ago

I am not qualified to answer this, but I did once see a similar question asked on Reddit. The best response I saw was from a commenter whose name I can't remember, else I would credit them.

That commenter said that his infant daughter had required an operation on her rectum. The commenter asked the surgeon how the surgery site could possibly not become infected and was told "the asshole knows how to handle shit."

That answer seemed reasonable to me and I probably will never forget it.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Probably a lot of us do have infected buttholes, but just don't realize it. It's a silent but deadly epidemic.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Even the bacteria doesn't want to eat your ass.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 8 months ago (1 children)

A bidet helps. Gentle splash of water vs scratchy paper.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (3 children)

You might want to treat yourself to some better quality paper.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Wiping your ass with silk is still significantly more friction than water

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Idk, water split the grand canyon, water sounds dangerous. /s

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Big, if true

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

I do both, using a bidet just makes sense.

Do you use the shower or do you clean your entire body with paper towels?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago

Meh, bidets are a lie too. Give yourself an enema, make sure you're clean inside and out!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 8 months ago

Username checks out, it was the first word out of my mouth when I read this question.

Good question though, looking forward to (hopefully) informed answers.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago

Fairly sure it's because of the difference in environment. Gut bacteria tend to be anaerobic fermenting species, whereas the external part and blood are more aerobic. It's been a while since i did physiology and microbio tho, someone correct me if I'm wrong.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago

This is a genuine question I've wondered about a lot. Kudos for oddly realistic originality.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Basically blood pressure keeps most things out, and you probably wouldn't purposely rub a meaty turd in an open wound regardless. I hope.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 8 months ago (2 children)

What about a vegan turd? Heard everything vegan is healthier.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Yup. Oreos are vegan so it's totally fine to eat an entire package for dinner! (I had a vegan friend who did this one time, and we were all joking about it being healthy because it's vegan.)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Vegens don't shit, they absorb 100% of the nutrients and produce zero waste products. They're basically plant people.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Got it. Hypertension is good if you have hemorrhoids.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abscess

maybe less common due to adaptive immunity to familiar bacteria

could still happen. and stds are an obvious example.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm in my 40s and never had hemeroids. Are they really that common? Or maybe I have and I didn't know (but surely I would, right??)?

[–] thisisnotgoingwell 19 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (3 children)

They can be pretty common for certain people. I've dealt with hemorrhoids since I was 20, my dad also started getting them pretty young too. They tend to "flare up" if you eat food that irritates them. For me it's something that I deal with every few months or so. When I get them, I gotta squirt a tube of ointment up my ass and they're usually gone the next day. It's a very humbling experience. I came as a poor migrant, no college education and through will and determination I became a self taught engineer about to turn 30 who makes six figures, and I occasionally have to squirt a tube of preparation H ointment up my ass.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Ah yes, the American dream.

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