Kyrgizion

Was the best moment of the day by far. Thanks for the li'l boost, fluffy princess!

Guess I'll die 😬

I'm 40 years old, in a crappy job without prospects despite degrees, and I have 0 friends.

I used to have a grand total of 2 friends before Covid, but then we lost contact. I've tried to rekindle, but all effort was onesided so I stopped.

I'm a lifelong spineless people pleaser despite lots of therapy, and the ironic thing is that this turns people off of you instead of having them like you.

At this point I don't see any reasons to continue trying.

If I had one wish in life, it would be to be a stereotypical asshole with actual self esteem - those are the kinds of people who seem to be anle to reach all of their goals and have others worship the ground they walk on.

But as for me, I'm so turned off by other people in general that I would probably be morbidly amused to read, oh I dunno, that Moscow nuked Kiev (or vive versa), that Jerusalem is burning, or that my hometown was wiped away by a hurricane.

Not to be "edgy". It's emotionally debilitating, and to be clear I don't enjoy/wish for human suffering.

I've just become as indifferent to it as the world seems to be to me. Simple tit for tat.

I'm tired. Kinda hoped I wouldn't wake up from my anaesthesia today. Ah well.

EDIT; I can't reply to everyone individually but thanks for all the suggestions! Opiates are out of the question, doctors here will only prescribe those in terms of absolutely extreme suffering or end of life care. I also don't particularly feel interested in developing a hard drug habit. Diclofenac and such are available but also only on separate prescriptions, I'd have to visit another doctor for that. I'm well stocked on paracetamol & ibuprofen, and apart from that, lots of ice cream, pudding & soup :)

Also, since a fair few people seem to doubt the veracity of my story, here's the 22 extracted teeth (the other 10 were already gone in previous extractions).

I've been playing since about a month after release and have since reached lvl 81 (just to show I put in quite a lot of game time since I started). In my first month of play I came across ONE single griefer who TK'd people on purpose. Considering I'd played hundreds of games I thought this game was a shining example of a great community.

However.

The last three(ish) weeks or so, I feel like I'm playing a whole different game. About 1/3rd to a quarter of my games involve randoms with really toxic behaviour. Training mobs on you, throwing barrages on the group for fun, destroying our own sentries in defense missions...

But there's one thing that is apparently suddenly a "fad", I guess? That is kicking someone from the game right before extraction. Seriously, I've run several full 40 minute rounds, usually on decently high difficulties (7-8), with no real communication with any players whatsoever, let alone tk's or toxic shit, and then you suddenly get kicked as soon as the Pelican is on the ground.

WTF gives? I don't know if it's a reportable thing, I doubt it, but I sincerely hope it's just players getting somewhat bored while waiting for more content and that it'll pass, because if this is going to be my regular experience from here on out, I'm going to look for something else to play. Not the devs' fault in any way.

Ordered this made from a then-fellow Redditor a few years ago, haven’t come across anything that writes better yet. I’ve found the extra weight helps increase the legibility of my handwriting.

Even IF you somehow manage to navigate today's maze of failures, rejections and heartbreak, what is your reward? To live yet another day in misery? To wait until climate change, war or disease does away with us?

A reward would be to be able to rest. I don't mean death per sé, but it seems like that's the only real-life thing left available to people like us.

Yes, yes, I know very well that "if nothing has meaning, YOU get to choose the meaning". Except I don't. Maybe if I was rich or powerful. But I'm poor, in poor health and powerless.

I read Camus' Sisiphus, and I, for one, cannot possibly imagine him happy.

Apparently it's perfectly possible to owe the IRS tens of thousands, and then just make up debt and point to a random person telling the IRS to go after them... ...and they will simply draft up a letter, demanding you to pay this outstanding, ficticious debt within two weeks.

What. The. Fuck.

I know the person who claims that I owe them 15k. It's my weed dealer. I also know he has legal and financial issues, so I assume he somehow told his creditors that I owed him a lot of money, and there is no law requiring verification.

So... Either I pay 15k € I don't actually owe, or I get a lawyer to dispute it, which will also be several thousands, none of which I am responsible for.

I'm not currently in debt but I also don't have any savings.

I dunno man, it seems like in this world it's just not possible to go a single year without being accused/hounded/... no one gives a fuck and everyone just wants "theirs". Which would be fine if people would leave me alone and not try to get their grubby mitts on what little I do have.

Fuck.

It took ~5 minutes and there was ZERO pain.

I even anticipated this. There was no reason to think it would be hard in any kind of way.

Why am I like this?? Why is my brain such mush when it comes to my executive functioning while several other parts of my mental being are more than fine or even slightly supercharged (when I'm not depressed or out of mania)

The kicker? The appointment isn't for a doctor or a dentist or something else that would be "normal" to dread.

It's an appointment to pick up a brand new company car. A 2023 Mercedes EQA to the tune of 50K€. Most people would JUMP at that kind of opportunity, but not me. No, I sit there contemplating whether I even deserve a car that costs twice my annual salary, and that I'm just deluding myself into thinking I'm a valued part of society, that someone will realize they made a mistake and such a car was never meant for me (or "anyone like me").

This after a double dose of 15mg ritalin, by the way. Without it I would never have been able to push myself over that limit to begin with.

Fuckin' a...

AI inflicted this upon my retina, so you shall suffer the same fate.