this post was submitted on 25 May 2025
473 points (97.2% liked)
Not The Onion
16330 readers
2179 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Please also avoid duplicates.
Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I feel bad for the men that get indoctrinated by this guy. Just like a lot of people that get taken in by religion, these people are looking for some understanding or change that really can only come from within but the church is promising that religion is the only way.
These men don’t understand that there is no black and white/ universal version of “manliness”. We all have to decide for ourselves what “being a man” means.
I go with a simple definition: as someone who was born a man and continues to identify as a man, my feeling is that, anything I do is “manly” because I am a man. Doesn’t matter if it’s sewing, hunting, or eating soup (which the preacher in the article seems to think is not manly)
Being a man is eating soup and being able to say "fuck you, I like soup."
And also being so confident, you don't need another man to tell you you're a big strong masculine man.
In college a woman remarked "I don't know many men manly enough to wear a pink shirt."
She hasn't seen rugby players in the south of France.
We need feminism but for men (which is a thing that kinda already exists but we need more)
In my opinion, as a man, feminism is for men. Feminism, at its core, is saying that strict gender roles are made up, and anyone is capable of being anyone. Men had a lot of freedom to do this already, though obviously a lot of things weren't allowed, like homosexuality, playing with other gendered clothing, or "queerness" in general as it used to be called.
A proper understanding of feminism I think would lead us all to recognizing we are free from the shackles of tradition, though the word makes a lot of people think it's only helping women, at the expense of men.
this is a nice way to look at it - but feminism isn't just a vague ideology, it's also a social movement that is designed for women and populated by women. men are at best allies in that space, and at worst viewed as the enemy, othered, and excluded.
i'll gladly id as a feminist ideologically but i'm not foolish enough to think i'd be welcomed with open arms at a feminist rally. tolerated? sure. but not part of the group.
I don't think you're correct, and I've felt welcomed around feminists (though I've never been in explicit feminist spaces). Even if you are though, it doesn't detract from my point. The goals of feminism help men too. If followed to completion, it removes gender roles from being strictly necessary. It allows people to be what they want.
Feminism is part of a larger movement, hence intersectional feminism. Even that though is part of a larger movement of liberalizing society to accept all people for who they are. Yes, there are also some groups who use feminism to exclude other people (TERFs, for example), but usually if people agree women should be allowed in roles normally reserved for men then gender norms aren't real and are necessarily oppressive, for everyone.
nothing that you've said here contradicts my point and you're demonstrating a profound misunderstanding of intersectionalism.
I agree with you. I see that what feminism fights for is good for men too, and lots of the "rank-and-file" of feminism has no issues with men, but if i would ask at a meeting what we could do for men so that they can get out of the patriarchate and feel safe, i'm pretty sure that i would get a lot of blank stares and then an earful.
There are not many groups which work on what a male-centric approach to get rid of the patriarchate might even look like, or what men would need in a system that has gotten rid of the patriarchate so that an equilibrium can be reached (and not patriarchate 2: electric feminism).
yeah this is a great point and it's not even the case that [feminists are uninterested in the issues facing men] because i think a lot of them will agree with fervor that patriarchy is harmful to men and perpetuates the issues they experience.
but shit brother they got enough problems they're trying to solve on their own time. these aren't just upstream issues, they're a separate branch of the same river.
I've been welcomed in feminist spaces. Don't try to take center stage or make it about you and you'll be fine in the vast majority of them.
if you truly believe that, it says more about your own social awareness than it does about the feminist movement.
I don't know if I like soup. The only soup I ever had was cambells, and it was awful. But then everybody tells me that cambells is the bottom of the barrel scum of the soup world.
So maybe I just don't like cambells.
Hey, you're like me. I HATED soup for decades. Can soup BS was disgusting. Soup on the side of my burger, gross.
Then I went to a real soup place. Like all they did was soup. Like professional level soup that's $8 a cup or $12 a bowl.
My god - it was incredible. I now understand the Soup Nazi bit of why anybody would tolerate that behavior.
I went from clean shaven anti-souper to a god damn soup coke fiend.
Campbell's classic chicken noodle hits different when you're recovering from a bout of norovirus.
But generally yes, canned soup is pretty bad. There's a ton of soups across most global cuisines, so many so that it's borderline unbelievable that you've never tried a single one.
And soup is so easy to make from scratch, it seems feeble to open a can. But yeah, OK, if you're sick, that's another thing.
Reminds me of a scene in the Lone Wolf and Cub comic I read when I was younger.
I don't remember all the details, but there's a panel where the two most dangerous samurai in all of feudal Japan are camping out before a fight, and some rando is astonished that these high bred, noble, elite warriors are cooking their own rice. One of the two rips into him about self-sufficiency and how there aren't always servants to do your cooking for you, and what kind of warrior would just starve when he has no servants around?
And what does the article say? Eating soup isn't manly? WTF? I'd like to hear his rationale for that one, but I'd probably lose a couple of IQ points reading it.
Toxic masculinity is full of shaming men for random things that are arbitrarily defined as not manly. Nothing is more dangerous for a Man than not conforming to masculine gender norms
When I was younger, I was thin, blond, green-eyed and freckled. In short, a bit of a twink. I didn't present as macho, but grew up in a rough neighborhood and when I went to college, could take down any "manly" frat-boy bullies who thought they could push me around.
Now I'm much older, also much bigger, look like an extra in a biker movie, but am still the same guy I was back then, and I'm never on the side of 'roid-raging morons or idiot red-pillers. When they think I'm one of them and start chatting shit, I shut it down fast. Even when they're hormone-stuffed human cauliflowers, they're soft. I'm not going to turn my back on my gay, lesbian and trans friends just because they make you insecure. You're the one with the wrong values and self-loathing. Work on that if you want to feel better about yourself.
This kind of insecurity is intentionally cultivated for the purpose of being exploited. If you can make a man afraid of whatever kind of food you name by declaring it unmanly you can control him.
It's in the 12 commandments, along with though shaft not draw.liquid with a straw because it looketh like yon penis.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/politics/government/house-republican-says-he-doesn-t-use-straws-that-s-what-the-women-in-my-house-do/ar-AA1Fsx5r
Pretty much how I see it. Being "a man" is being comfortable with who you are and not being scared about what others think. Putting a dress on and having "Tea" with your kids during playtime is just as manly as playing football. (And looks hilarious when you're a 6 ft tall biker looking dude with a beard and hairy legs like me.)
Yeah, seriously. I've been all over Eastern Europe and can confidently say that Slavs make some of the best soup I've had anywhere. And if I've turned gay, I haven't realized it yet.
I think men are going to have to define foe themselves what secure masculinity looks like and how to achieve it.
Not worrying about it has been a solution that has worked well for me. Having a close friend who's lesbian helped a lot too. She taught me a lot about being true to one's self, and I love her for it. In the next life, if she's into men or I'm a woman, we'll get together. In this life, we don't have sex, but there are plenty of other ways to show love for someone. She's my sister from another mother.
Having women friends is generally a good vaccine against this nonsense