You have a wonderful girlfriend so you're already winning. Get a hug from her and go face the consequences with your roommates. It sucks but you'll win in the end.
Get a crappy job for now and bear through it for a few months.
If they kick you out then your free. It sucks being homeless but you get to come back from Rock bottom on your own terms.
Get a pass to a 24 hour gym where you can take showers and even kill a lot of down time by working out and improving yourself.
But once it's over it's over and your legacy will not be good
Take everybody's advice and make your legacy awesome!
Who's taking bets on when these are dropped?