PoastRotato

That's not a "never"

I know you're joking but you basically just suggested buying a pack of frozen mixed veggies so you can pick out and use only the carrots for your stew, and the idea of someone actually doing that sends my brain into a tailspin

I love the voice change, it makes it sound like it's saying the item with massive air quotes so suddenly everything sounds like a euphemism for something terrible

This is top-tier, well done

If I had a nickel for every time I was troubleshooting with a friend and discovered they thought turning the monitor off and on again was "rebooting the computer" I'd be depressingly wealthy.

How is this substantively different from the original comment?

I love how half of these are just "don't be fucking annoying"

I want more of this guy

it is the Ten Commandments' "historical significance, which is simply one of many documents that display the history of our country and foundation of our legal system.”

Alright, so let's put them up right next to the Hammurabi Code, which is also majorly significant to history and our legal system. Maybe highlight the part about how Hammurabi was chosen by the Babylonian gods as the ultimate arbiter of justice.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

It's my new ringtone is what it is

I like Chain Slaughter a lot! It fits the theme really well, and keeping up the sequence without missing seems like an interesting mechanic to strategize around.