BUT WHOSE POOP WAS IT?
Not The Onion
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
It was his.
The Ohio Supreme Court suspended an attorney who defecated into a Pringles potato chip can and then tossed it into a parking lot of a crime-victim advocacy center.
Not that he isn't a dickhole, but...that'll...show them...? How did anyone else even notice this enough to care? Someone so poorly underpaying the cleaner guy that he opened a discarded parking lot pringles can in search of food?
He drove past the ... victim advocacy center ... and was captured on surveillance cameras throwing the can into the center's parking lot. One of the center's employees ... saw Blakeslee throw the can from his car and recovered it in the parking lot... [and] called police to report the incident and the attorney was eventually charged with misdemeanor counts of disorderly conduct and littering.
If you pick up what is supposed to be an empty can and it weighs like a pound and a half.... you're gonna be curious and look inside at least once.
Not anymore.
I am so absolutely not doing that, no. Maybe it's a whole pound of free cocaine. Maybe god finally smiled on me and it's a very ill-planned potato chip bomb like that experiment where you use a whole potato to power a light bulb. Probably it's some kid's lost gravel collection.
Whatever it is, it's not going to be something whoever had the can last was dying for anyone to have and I don't get paid enough to care.
My guess is that it exploded and caused a mess. There's no way that held together. Pringles cans are literally made out of paper thin cardboard with a little bit of glue holding it all together.
Well, poop analysis showed there were wolf hair and pieces of credit card in it. So, still inconclusive.
How do you poop while driving? How do you poop into a Pringles can without missing the can?
I understood it as “pre-prepared poop Pringles”
We keep talking like it was planned but maybe it was a crime of passion.
Passionate pringle pooping.
There are two types of people in this situation. Those who avoid the speed bumps, and those who target them.
Fiber, and fiber.
Big Police Squad energy there.
"Who are you? How did you get in here?"
"I'm a locksmith, and I'm a locksmith."
New skill unlocked.
Pringles come out, poop goes in. You can't explain that.
Fucking Pooringles. How do they work?!
Blakeslee tried to explain away his behavior, saying he hadn’t targeted Haven of Hope. Rather, he claimed, he was indulging a frequent habit of his, having done the deed at least 10 other times that year.
That somehow sounds even worse to me.
So many questions I don’t want to know the answers to.
This is appropriately posted into au.sports section on yahoo.
The olympics gonna be wild next time.
The article says he has been practicing law since 1976, if he finished law school at age 25 he is 72 years old.
I don't know what to do with this fact. There is a +72 year old man doing this.
That's some next level Pringles guerilla marketing.
I know they say all press is good press, but I don't know if Pringles wants their brand to be associated with a cardboard tube full of shit...
Always has been.
As bad as feces is at least it is biodegradable. Even insects and bacteria won't put Pringles into their body.
He DEFICATED in a pringles can! and he gets to be a lawyer? what a sick joke!
Not just one. The article says he did it at least 10 times previously in that year because throwing pringle poop is a habit he likes to indulge in.
He said this to a judge, to make the point that this was not a directed attack against the people who owned the property, as a legal defense. He just likes to throw pringles cans full of shit into parking lots. this was never about “them”, he just likes to throw poop canisters. What’s the big fucking deal, your honor? i’m just indulging in what makes me happy.
He threw it out the sunroof!
Came here hoping for some chicanery.
I should've stopped him when I had the chance! And you – you have to stop him! You-
Saul Goodman.
and he gets to be a lawyer?
No, title is quite clear that the Piero Manzoni wanna be got suspended.
And here I thought this was America, land of the Free…
You mean America, the land of the heavily propagandized
What is the world coming to where a man can't poop in a can and toss it out their car window in an act of defiance. Damn Bidens America!!!
The ole Chicago Pringle Can, good one Jimmy!
Slippin' (in shit from a Pringles can) Jimmy.
He SHIT into a PRINGLES CAN!
Did he manage to poop in the can, or was it a two step process? As in he pooped somewhere else and then shoveled the poop into the can?
Police were suspicious when they noticed the can smelled better than actual Pringles.
Forget the trowing part, I can not stop thinking about this man shitting into a pringles can (I hope that is how he loaded it).
Whenever I feel bad about myself, an article like this pops up to remind me that despite all my flaws, I’m not the guy throwing faeces in public like some random monkey. Thanks for that.
I’m not the guy throwing faeces>
But you could be.
Yeah, but I hear the bar exam is a bitch.
Sounds cathartic.
This isn't news! News would be a Pringles can not full of poop.