Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/1121/
this post was submitted on 10 May 2025
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Does my doppelgänger go to my workplace and do my job?
If he doesn’t, there’s your answer.
If he does, I’ll leave him to it and go read a book in the park.
Congrats, your doppelganger goes to your job and gets you fired. The monkey's paw strikes again.
Then they can get another job or die. Enjoy it, fucker. I have books to read.
In that case, that's the giveaway
Don't let my boss know that I know this.
Some years back I was in a D&D campaign where doppelgangers became a major ongoing concern. It turned out that in that case doppelgangers built up their image of the person they wanted to mimic through careful observation, but thanks to the general prudishness of society doppelgangers rarely ever caught glimpses of peoples' genitals. So we ultimately came up with the "crotch check" system. Doppelgangers usually couldn't form plausible genitalia.
This is the most D&D campaign thing I've ever heard, no further questions
Simple. I kill my doppelgänger, if he wins he wanted it more.
There could be only one Rusty Shackleford.
Nice try, Doppelganger!
Save it for queen dopplepopolis!
I dub thee Sir Phobos, Beater of Ass.
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You wanna be me so bad? Here's the keys, good luck, fucker.
Same as I do now, passwords. Unless they inherited my memories, in which case who's to say I'm not the doppelganger?
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You authenticate either with something that you have (physical key, for example), something that you know (passwor for example), or something that you are (biometrics, basically).
Dopplegangers rule out that last one, but the previous two still work fine
"Something you have" is not exactly a good way to authenticate. Once they steal it, they can assume your identity (see: ID Theft)
That also goes for what you are. Biometric security has been rendered nearly useless since everybody and their mother started using it without giving a single shit about securing that data
Why must we be enemies? I want to be his friend.
I don't think I'd get along with me.
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Be too useless to merit a doppelganger. To paraphrase zhuangzi, few know the usefulness of uselessness.
I'm already an identical twin and it's a nightmare even having a different first and middle name but same everything else.
I think we're just living with a second set of identical twins?
Well, easy, I'm the one without the moustache.
I'm pretty sure you always had a moustache ...
Does my doppelganger have the same tastes as me? If not, then only the real me would walk around with Amy Rose and/or Sonamy (Sonic x Amy Rose) wallpapers on all his devices without the slightest hint of shame or embarrassment.
If he has the same taste, then we'll play SoulCalibur 3 together.
Ooh, that's a good one. If we don't share taste, then just hook me up to a lie detector and ask if I liked the dub of the last Eureka Seven movie. If we do share taste, then sweet! There's two fans of it!
Shit, that may be the most personally identifiable information I've ever shared
I would be signing all my communications cryptographically and sharing a key in person so people can validate whether a message not delivered face to face is really from me.
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I have a hardware key, that's probably secure enough. 128 bits of unique data.
My doppelganger will provide PII before I do
Whichever one folds and tells you an actual identifying characteristic first is the fake
The inquisitor sighs in exasperation.
"It's been 36 hours. You've each had one granola bar and a bottle of Pepsi since you got here. At some point, one of you has to prove you're real."
Left Starman says "I invoke the 5th."
Right Starman says "I want a lawyer."
"You're not under arrest! We're just trying to figure out which one of you is real. You gotta give us something.
Both Starmen simultaneously state "I don't talk to police."
The interrogation continues for a further 17 hours before Left Starman gives in. "My cat's name is Iris, you can call my roommates and verify it."
"You dumb son of a bitch," Right Starman says, "that's just what I tell people online."
BLAM
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Does my doppelganger have the same knowledge I have, or just the same outward physical characteristics?
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Does my doppelganger possess the same physical objects I do, like an identical copy of a cell phone, say?
Think like identity theft, they transform their body to match your body, and their voice matches your voice. The only way they can get detected is if they get arrested and the authorities use a machine to verify someone's true identity.
Don't forget, this is the information age, they might have surveillance capabilities to monitor the way you talk, and be able to record your authentication methods.
Hmm. I'm not entirely clear here...are you saying the answer to both of the two questions is "no"? I mean, you didn't explicitly say that the doppleganger has the same knowledge or the same possessions, but you also didn't explicitly say that they didn't.
Does my doppelganger have the same knowledge I have, or just the same outward physical characteristics?
They don't have a replica of your brain, if that's what you are asking.
They just look the exact same as you, along with your voice.
But they might have hacked your phone and started listening in to be able to mimic the way you talk.
Does my doppelganger possess the same physical objects I do, like an identical copy of a cell phone, say?
No, but they could just steal your phone, or better yet, just kidnap you and lock you away then steal your clothes too.
They don’t have a replica of your brain, if that’s what you are asking.
Okay. In that case, I think that I'd probably use that, since there will definitely be information that I could show other people that only I know. Passwords, past private memories with people I know, that sort of thing. Maybe if one is optimistic, my doppleganger could guess or somehow obtain one or two, but if we do a number of these, I should be able to pass many more of these than my doppleganger.
how about i just fuck them then 🤗
That begs the age old question... would that be incest, or masturbation?
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Secret handshake
I'm the one who knows how to use Lemmy.
I'd sign a payload using my private key that my doppelganger doesn't have.
I really think a lot of questions like this are just developers trying to get ideas for the games they're making. Sneaky crowd-sourcing. But the answer is dick head prints. Even doppelgangers don't have the same dick head print. Everyone knows that.
Highlander rules.
There can be only one CaptPretentious.
"What's something only the real me would know?"
If they only mimic me and have some knowledge based on what is on my phone/online, they probably don't speak the same foreign languages as I on the same level. So I could authenticate myself by proving that I speak those languages.
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