And yet I hear dumbshits bragging all time about how alexa controls my (insert thing that definitely does not need automation here).
These sort of people never think beyond tomorrow and it shows.
this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2025
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Terminally online, even for #2
Because most people are not online while pooping, right?
Right?
I don't think any of these people know what "smart" is supposed to mean cause these must be the dumbest ideas for any product I've heard so far.
'Smart' means it can send your lifestyle data to the company, and make you dependent on their services.
You want to change your toilet provider? Best of luck holding your poo in for three days while the transfer is processed.
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My sister's new apartment's front door has a "smart lock", hooked up to Ring, naturally. No keyhole, you open it with your phone. It also runs on batteries.
Do I really need to say any more? We were baffled.
EDIT: Correction - there IS a keyhole but the actual tenants don't have access to it. Only the property management. Creepy. :|
"Hello amazon I'm a police, I need you to unlock this door at 123 Rainy St, Arlen TX 76043"
"Ok Mr. Police right away!"
Sounds great!
I've seen landlords put these things on doors, too, and use them to allow entrance to anyone they think has a reason to be inside, whether the resident knows and consents or not.
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LOL relevant meme attached:
Arlen TX
Weird coincidence seeing this right after finishing an episode of King of the Hill. LOL
"Yo man dang'ol smartlock open up man left my daggum phone in there tell ya what."
"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"
It was one of the jailbreaks, LLMs are just too eager to help.
Oh my god that's hilarious, I hope that really worked!
As to KOTH:
"Unlock my door or I'll kick your digital ass!"
*crying* "My door won't let me in, Hank! Everyone leaves me, Lenoire left and now even my house left me!"
Dale however never got one, his house is still secured by Daletech. Shishishaaaaa!
I have a smart deadbolt that is keypad operated. It’s awful.
Never used the smart features, and there isn’t a bypass to unlock the door when the batteries die — which happens a lot, especially in the winter. I tried using rechargeable batteries in it, but they last less than half the time of normal batteries.
There is nothing more frustrating than punching in the key code and hearing the death of HAL9000 voice before the deadbolt fully unlocks. Luckily I have a back door that isn’t smart.
I’m replacing the lockset soon and this won’t be a problem anymore, but holy shit is it frustrating and wasteful.
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I got a Proteus IV system. Now I’m dead and my wife is knocked up.
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"Ok, so what you can see in the logs?"
"Sweetcorn."
Must be a kernel issue
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"Dumb" is the new "smart".
I can consider acceptable for the kettles to be connected to the internet if, and only if, they answer always with a 418 status code.
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If it doesn't work well without the Internet, it's a bad investment. Features that require the Internet degrading a bit is one thing, but if a toilet or toaster can't do its basic job offline, it was ewaste the second it rolled off the factory line.
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If one day there is only smart toilets, I will go shit in the woods and start to live like an animal. Clearly humanity was a mistake and we should return to monke
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