this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2025
230 points (98.3% liked)

Programmer Humor

22951 readers
307 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 130 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It would be funny except for all the old people who are going to stop getting checks and find out Musk closed their local SS office.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought they were working on establishing ss offices

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago

Agreed. But my first thought was

[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If there's one thing you want in a website used by almost 75 million beneficiaries it's a platform hastily put together by a crack team of geniuses--that don't password protect databases--"in months."

This is gonna go very very very poorly.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 month ago

Well maybe the beneficiaries can edit their benefits themselves?

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I've been party to dumping legacy systems and lift & shifts a few times.

Good fucking luck.

Knowing nothign about this, a project like this would take at least 2 years even if you are dropping a ton of use cases and dependencies.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

That takes me back

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

How does that have less than a million views? My team and I quote/use/reference it so often.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

Yes. Because they'll store everything in MongoDB.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Every time I watch it, I giggle 🤭

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 weeks ago

Idk, something about the words "web scale" just sounds too funny

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Agreed (context: same legacy system work, 20 years), although given the size and scale of the tech debt involved, I'd peg it at 5 years if you had a team of 100+ COBOL developers.

10 to do it right.

Once you start dealing with databases older than SQL and languages older than C, things get funky real fast.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Years are made of months … Good read https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mythical_Man-Month

More than just a good read, that's one of the project/programming Ten Commandments.

Can't tell you how many times over the decades I've had to argue with project managers about that.

~This~ ~comment~ ~is~ ~licensed~ ~under~ ~CC~ ~BY-NC-SA~ ~4.0~

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The best way I’ve heard it said was “if a woman can make a baby in nine months, then nine women should be able to make a baby in one month, right?”

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago

That's in the book :)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Also a good pen is the report, we need three months for this, only to be told each week something else is more important. After the three month the question came is it finished now.

And so 2 Years turned to 6.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 1 month ago

This is going to be such a ridiculous disaster that it'd be entertaining to watch it go to shit — if it weren't such a critical system they're fucking with.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Remember when people thought Elmo knew anything?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago
[–] bitcrafter 3 points 1 month ago

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] RonSijm 38 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We also got fully self driving cars in 2 years though, in 2016....

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago

I'm posting this from Mars colony. Amazing isn't it.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago (15 children)

Can't wait to hear how the blockchain will factor into this redesign.

load more comments (15 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Calling it now - it will be written in such a way that Musk’s motley crew will be required to maintain it or update proprietary closed source components at extreme cost forever - practically guaranteeing he will always have full access to the data and be able to charge what he likes for any changes whoever takes power after Trump is gone.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's going to be written using vibe programming

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago

COBOL systems, when properly maintained, are highly reliable, with built-in redundancy and fault tolerance.

They can't have that because they want excuses when it goes down and leaves old people to starve and ruin their credit.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 month ago

We tried guys, really we did. The vibe coding was working but it was sabotaged by liberals and Canadians. The only option is to end social security and put the poor and elderly into workhouses or send them to the shower blocks.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 month ago

This is going to really help government efficiency!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Basically, a VBA Excel file.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

While (people exist) {give no money}

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Boomers gonna love how this turns out.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Someone please make a backup

load more comments
view more: next ›