this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2025
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submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by [email protected] to c/programmer_humor
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by trg_thanh

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[–] [email protected] 144 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Meanwhile, Rust punches you in the face for the mere suggestion. Again. And again.

Python happily nods, runs it one page at a time, very slowly, randomly handing things off to a C person standing to the side, then returns a long poem. You wanted a number.

Assembly does no checking, and reality around you tears from an access violation.

EDIT: Oh, and the CUDA/PyTorch person is holding a vacuum sucking money from your wallet, with a long hose running to Jensen Huang's kitchen.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Rust just keeps telling me "you didn't actually learn how references work" over and over

[–] SatouKazuma 15 points 2 weeks ago

Lifetime annotations go brr

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

I refuse to believe the python one ever happens. Unless you are importing libraries you don't understand, and refuse to read the documentation for, I don't see how a string could magically appear from numeric types.

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[–] [email protected] 87 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Am I bad at programming?

No, it’s the language thats wrong.

[–] [email protected] 95 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

Except that many other languages have proven that C++ is simply terrible at providing meaningful errors.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I wish there was something like that for SQL

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

We can always make a Rust Query Language

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago

Feels like some arcane divination magic, I WANT IT

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago (5 children)

I mean, this is correct in many cases, unironically.

It should be one of the core purposes of a programming language to help humans to write the code they intend. If a language doesnt do that then it's bad.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Valid languages:

  1. HolyC

That's it

[–] ICastFist 6 points 2 weeks ago

Brainfuck has entered the chat

[–] [email protected] 73 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Ah, C++. An endless supply of footguns where the difference between a junior and a senior dev is knowing what parts of the language to never use.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Real C++ programmers pass by const ref and tell pointers to fuck off.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (4 children)

You can also make everything a smart pointer and be done with it.

I can count on more than one hand the number of large scale projects where converting everything to smart pointers fixed major memory issues. Even if smart pointers can’t handle circular references, the number of projects that just don’t manage their memory correctly at all and were fixed by introducing these tools is way too high.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I thought C++ was meant to get rid of C’s footguns?

[–] [email protected] 57 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s almost backwards compatible. You can use old or new foot guns.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 weeks ago

Hooray, choice!

[–] bitcrafter 22 points 2 weeks ago

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off.

- Bjarne Stroustrup

[–] [email protected] 67 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

This is why I will never touch Javascript again. Long ago when I worked on web stuff, half my workflow was spent in the debugger tracing garbage to find where a typo was. The industry moved to Typescript, and now assuming the strictness checks are enabled, if some Typescript transpiles successfully, I can be 95% sure whatever fuckup I observe at runtime is a logic problem.

Weakly typed languages were an awful idea. But in general, if the compiler isn't able to detect most runtime issues (like with C++ here), it's not going to be the most productive language to use for building solutions compared to smarter alternatives.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I've thought about moving to typescript. Do you have suggestions for a 20+ year JavaScript dev?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago

Try porting a very small bit of behavior into a new tiny library or module that is Typescript based and independently published. Enable the strictness checks in tsconfig - really, really resist the urge to use any, and enforce that any is disallowed in tsconfig. Familiarize yourself with its utility types that really trip new authors up. "Record" comes to mind here, and others that involve generics if you haven't before worked with generics. Some of the type error messaging can be pretty obtuse - don't be afraid to paste them into an LLM (or use Copilot enhanced Intellisense) to explain what it actually means. IMO the type violation messaging is a weak dev experience point for new authors, so don't sweat it if you occasionally "struggle to make the squiggles go away".

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago

Just try it. You can usually convert a single file at a time. Start small (or even with a pet project)

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 2 weeks ago

Typescript on the other hand: Exwuse me sir, you seem to have a little oopsie right here. Oh right! Let me just fix that right up.

HERE ARE TWO THOUSAND ERRORS! YOUR PUNY LITTLE BUFFER CAN'T EVEN SCROLL BACK TO READ THEM ALL! AND YOU CALL YOURSELF A PROGRAMMER?

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks 29 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Just me or is the single speech bubble loop in the 4th panel weird?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 weeks ago

Very. It's like they're both saying it in unison.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It makes sense to me. You start in the top left like how you read and then you get a direction for the order of the conversation. I read it naturally at intended the first time through.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

It reads fine. It's the connection between the bubbles that's incorrect.

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[–] ICastFist 25 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

What surprised me the most was the speed of the compilation, must be a very small program. I tried to compile Godot from source once. Force-stopped it after 3 hours

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 weeks ago

There's a reason the play is called waiting for Godot

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How many cores do you have and what compiler was it ? Also RAM can help with huge codebases iirc. When I was working with UE5 I had the best Ryzen available with 128 Go of RAM, could compile the engine (which is much bigger than Godot) from source in less than 2 hours iirc (yes that is a full clean+rebuild, not just compiling recent changes)

[–] ICastFist 6 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

i7-7700 with 16GB of RAM :/

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago

Is C++ the first enemy that managed to win against one punch man?

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

I mean, the comic is fine I guess, but if it implies the Cpp lady is hitting you, it's not. That would be the kernel, the lady did what you told her to do.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 weeks ago

If undefined behavior is triggered anywhere in the program, then it is allowed by the standard for the process to ask the anthropomorphized compiler to punch you.

100% based and standards-compliant comic

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Makes me think of:

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