Ask Lemmy

Lots of hugs and lots of "I love you."

I don't remember those things from my father. I damn well do it for my adult son his whole life.

When their kid grows up and has kids of their own. Then you know they're a grand dad.

Start with being a good human first, then add lots of love, empathy, & patience, then add ability to recognize the world from their kids perspectives and give them wisdom and guidance throughout their lives so they can go on to become good & happy humans themselves. That's it.

A great dad is the figure that should serve as a role model, basically a symbol of everything a man should be about. Not a player, not an abuser, not a user. Someone who is there for their kids as much as the mother is.

They should be the straightener, the one that sees your flaws, pulls you over and breaks down why it is that what you're doing or about to do is wrong.

A father should be a buddy, a good friend. Someone firm but fair.

My dad is a great dad.

He shows interest in my interests, he supports me in anything I want to do. He's kind and understanding. He's funny and really knowledgeable too.

I think being a great dad is really just about trying to be a good person, trying to be great dad...

A great father goes out of their way to show their kid that they are there for them.

I was fortunate to have a wonderful father. It wasn't until it was almost too late that I realized and thanked him.

Be firm, but reasonable. Be kind and sensitive. Tease because it gently builds tolerances. Lift up and build up, don't break down.

Encourage communication and support with understanding. Don't punish honesty. Encourage it and meet it with respect. Even when honesty reveals a wrongdoing, communicate the next steps to right the wrong. Help them walk those steps. But sometimes, let them take some of the steps alone to build independence.

Be there to catch them when they fall. Be there.

My own father was harsh, complicated, difficult to deal with.

I always thought I'd do the opposite.

What I learned later on was to ask my own children what their day was like, what excited them, how I could help them when they needed it most... and then you need to listen. Even if they're asking silly things, things they have yet to learn, that's how you find that connect.

And to some extent I try to balance the discipline by thinking, if I drop dead tomorrow, will I have prepared them as best as I could to become their own person? Will I have done it in a way that they'll remember me fondly?

So far my kids have always said I am a great dad, all the same I ask myself if I could do better every day.

I think the question you started with here is the most important one though, how can you do great/better.

Try and spend time with them, even if it seems so boring at the time.

Now that the little guy has all grown up and left home, I miss him so much.

I'd do it all again and spend 10 times the amount of time with them.

Patience. So much patience!

A lack of toxic masculinity.

Treating your kids like human beings.

Discipline when needed.

And of course, above all, love,

Not beating the crap outta your children is at the very least a good start.

He should be someone you look up to and want to be like while he wants you to be even better.

someone who doesn't smoke weed during interviews.

Be a friend. Keeps you in your lane. Keeps your secrets. Man, I miss my dad. :(

Takes you off the beaten track, maroons you in the middle of nowhere, just because. A sense of recklessnes, independence, and adventure.

Not always a positive trait, but glad its instilled in me