this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 116 points 1 month ago (4 children)

How old are they that they called labeled as ableist? This would not have happened in 2000s elementary

[–] [email protected] 55 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

I don't know - the term "ableist" has certainly spiked in popularity in the last ten years or so, but even in the 90's you'd get a bollocking for throwing around the terms "mong" or "spaz" or "flid" within earshot of a teacher.

I mean, I can see why - I hate the terms myself now. but when you're in single digits of age, it's just used as another derisory term rather than a specific slight at someone's physical or mental development challenges.

It still got you in hot water if you were daft enough to get caught shouting it though.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 month ago

I'm not native and I discovered the word by reading a Lemmy community's rules.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I had a teacher in the 90's call me a spaz.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Spaz was very mild in the US and very serious in the UK. Meant kinda different things too.

The opposite for extremity in these countries at the time was fanny. Meant completely different things.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (10 children)

Were you in a big city? Mine was pretty small. I wonder if that has to do with it? I never heard the word until maybe high school or college

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Nah I was in a pretty small town, semi-rural but not buttfuck-nowhere either.

It certainly wasn't labelled "ableist" then, it was simply "being a little shit" - I only really learned of the term ableism around 10-15 years ago.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Hm.

https://books.google.com/ngrams/graph?content=ableist&year_start=1990&year_end=2022&corpus=en&smoothing=3

They could be in 4th grade in 2010, and be 25 now posting this. I could also believe that elementary school teachers could be among the first 5% of people to adopt a new super-inclusive type of brand new lefty language that's just starting to be used for a new type of friendly inclusiveness in 2000.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Makes sense.

I'm about 10 years older and have never heard the term in person, only in lefty online communities like Lemmy. I even took an ASL class from a deaf person (highly recommend, though maybe my teacher just rocked) as an adult with my SO, and we didn't even use the term "ablism," but instead just "hearing" to describe people who aren't deaf (so the concept, not the term). That would've been mid to late 2010s, IIRC.

Couple that with the claimed suspension in 4th grade, and I have serious doubts any of this happened. To get suspended, you need to be starting fist fights or something, even cussing or intentionally insulting people would probably only land normal detention.

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[–] JackbyDev 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Could be that they didn't say ableist at the time it happened but anon remembers it that way it just tells it that way.

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[–] [email protected] 84 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Anon after getting back:

The name’s Richard

Retarded Richard

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Nems Bernd, Jeums Bernd.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 1 month ago

Principal:

"OK this kid is fucking based, I'll reward him with a week off"

[–] [email protected] 53 points 1 month ago (2 children)

When I went to school, one kid during that exercise said that his name was so-and-so, and one thing he liked to do was stick his thumb up his ass.

He was known as "Thumbs" for the next four years, possibly longer. I actually don't think I ever learned his name, he was just Thumbs.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I knew a kid who was caught beating his meat on a school trip, and was thereafter known as Spanky.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Definitely a learning experience for that kid.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I can see it now... I'm called first; I don't know what an adjective is (I still struggle); I panic from the social anxiety of stage fright; I awkwardly try to say anything at all, so I can sit the fuck down and move on; so I say, "Really Richard"

I'm told that's an adverb, and I need to use an adjective. Now I'm pale as a ghost and about to faint from the panic. I stutter, "Richmond Richard?". I'm informed that's a proper noun, so I quickly try again (visibly sweating) spouting, "Reading Richard!"... and am told to sit down, because that was a noun and I've now been assigned extra homework on grammar.

Someone snickers and says "Retarded Richard" in a low voice. The entire class laughs, the teacher is doing their best not to crack a smile (but I can tell), and I am henceforth known as "Retarded Richard" until graduation and beyond.

Adverbs, adjectives, verbs... prepositions! I'm in a living nightmare. There is no waking up from this. I am, forever, "Retarded Richard"

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

Why your screenshot looks more beautiful than usual greentexts?

edit: is it a custom font?

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They used an AI upscaler to enhance the details

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

What is my purpose?
You enhance shitposts.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Zoomed in before screenshotting

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This actually happened, btw

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

...Richard?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

a 9 yo kid getting a week suspension at the start of the school year simply and only because he called himself ~~redacted~~.. idts

(it filters the word here)

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's dumb dick to his friends

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

crummy cock to his acquaintances

[–] ICastFist 15 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I wonder what Zelda came up with for that introduction

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (4 children)

"Xylophone Zelda". Really fucked over Xenias introduction

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Uh, xylophone doesn't start with Z, back to kindergarten until you learn your letters.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago

Gotta be xenophobic Xenia now, sorry, I don't make the rules

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

depending how she's feeling, zany, zen or zealous?

Or zonked, if she smoked a fat dart beforehand

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Zooted Zelda (she on coke)

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago (5 children)

As an outsider, it's wild to me that you can/could get suspended from school so easily.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'm concerned but someone must tell you: Greentexts are not real stories

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[–] JackbyDev 4 points 1 month ago

The schools I as at growing up you wouldn't have gotten this as a punishment until like your 10th strike. You'd get increasingly severe suspensions. One to five days in school suspension then one to five days out of school suspension. Then you got expelled. It's possible OP doesn't remember correctly how long they were suspended. It's also possible this post is a lie, but I'm being generous.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago (8 children)

I can't come up with anything better, can anyone else?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 month ago

We had a dude called Richard in primary school that went blank at the thought of a nickname. Obviously, as responsible classmates we helped him out, and he was christened Romanian Richard.

Richard was not Romanian, nor did he have any ties to the fine country of Romania.

Whatever inexplicable logic that was at play here, directed that he should have the last ten seconds of the Taz-Mania theme sung to him repeatedly, sorta like:

"Richard Romanian,

Richard Romanian,

Richard Romanian,

We mean you!"

Before making the appropriate Taz noises finishing with a raspberry in close proximity to his face. What was really weird, was that Richard didn't appreciate this new fame and form of address, which was a real shame because everyone else did and it was highly entertaining before teachers got involved, parents got called, and it was saved for the days when Richard was really being a oil-fired arsehole.

These were the days before we drew the line from Richard to Dick, you must understand.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Reliable

Respectable

Resplendent

Remarkable

Relativistic

Reprehensible

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Reasonable Richard

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Rich Richard too obvious for you ri**ards?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I went to school with a kid called Richard Dick.

Nice lad, but somebody hadn't thought that through.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Double Dick!

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[–] jimmux 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They called him Rich-tard for short.

But he got the last laugh when rich 'tards ruled the country.

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