To discuss how to grow and manage communities / magazines on Lemmy, Mbin, Piefed and Sublinks
Resources:
As others pointed out, there's little infrastructure cost recuperating possible with an on-off service model.
Lemmy is among the worst places for this, but there could be something like a standard tag (looking for dates/sex/friends etc) that is hashed against geodata on more personalised accounts (like Pixelfed or Mastodon or Friendica(?)).
We should recreate that old OkCupid matching system where users make, answer, and vote on the importance of different questions.
Already did it for https://cupid.careers/... I can easily port it to another site to make a dating Fediverse actor
I feel like not everything has to be federated and this is one of those things
Probably very difficult due to network effect indeed. Also privacy would be a challenge I guess?
This could be used for privacy.
https://gitlab.com/veilid/veilid
There’s also a new technology that allows sharing of proximity data without sharing location. I’m not finding it now, though.
Ps. I tend to think that NOSTR is a far better protocol for this type of idea for the same reasons I’m looking at NOSTR instead of Pub/Sub for my federated inventory idea.
forgot about DMs lmao, thanks blaze for correcting me
~~Isn't privacy basically irrelevant to a dating app? you're giving your own info (headshot, name, hobbies, location i think?) voluntarily. Do correct me if i am wrong though.~~
~~(There is some information that is sketchy for the company to be collecting though, such as app usage and contacts)~~
Not everything needs to happen in the Fediverse. E.g, you can have the messaging part delegated to email, xmpp, matrix... Then you add a system where the other party needs to send a "request for contact info" separate from the public profile.
It's more how to keep the information between two people, such as messages. As we know, messages on Lemmy can be seen by admins
Right. I forgot about those. E2EE is probably especially necessary for a dating app.
I think the dating app model that's currently popular kind of can't work well for users. They're all set up so they benefit from users paying a subscription for a long time, but users want to find a match and get out. Those are contradictory.
I think a match making model would be better. Pay a single fee and they try to set you up with someone. They already got your money so their incentive would be to set you up happily so they don't have to work on you anymore. But users don't want to pay for anything, so we'll continue having garbage and garbage incentives.
I am working on website that is Okcupid for Jobs. You follow @[email protected] and it posts questions that help you match with other professionals that might work well with you.
and the apps are dreadful as I’m sure many of you know.
What about Federation would make the apps better?
What about Federation would make the apps better?
Rooting out the incentive the company have for you NOT to find a stable partner and uninstall.
That's a good point.
There's no federated dating apps, but the cream of the crop are currently Hinge and Feeld. That changes every few months.
And they all end up being bought by match.com
I think feeld recently was revealed to have all of their information and apis public. Like anyone could find any message and photos, and do CRUD operations on them.
https://fortbridge.co.uk/research/feeld-dating-app-nudes-data-publicly-available/
Also the app kind of sucks, at least as a free user. It does the same bullshit as all the others where it doesn't actually connect you with people. And some classes of users (eg: women) get bombarded with low quality content while others get nothing.
Hinge also kind of sucks for the same capitalism reasons, but it's better than the others I tried.
Hey, I didn't say the crop was great.
Since that research went public, they had a redesign of the app, I dunno if that fixed the security issues, so don't quote me on that. I do know that their socials are decent.
In general though, dating apps are a female lead experience. Misogyny means that a lot, (most in my personal experience), reject that experience. So where women being the commodity should be finding the men and initiating contact. Instead they believe it's more romantic if a guy finds them and messages first. I've got friends that don't open the apps except to check likes and respond to messages, not being proactive in the least. There's a bunch of profiles without faces citing work reasons. Women will demand creative opening messages and then respond with the lamest, low effort response ever. Women on dating apps need to realise they rule the world and lead by example.
I think Bumble has the closest thing to the perfect model, but holy fuck the Match group decided to turn it into a piece of shit. The Match group should be broken up, it's a monopoly and it's a hindrance to happy healthy relationships.
Match group 100% should be broken up.
I think a lot of people, of all genders, are surprisingly bad at the skills needed to use a dating app successfully. People dead end conversations and then are like "why aren't I having fun conversations?"
Like, a profile says "I love SomeBand". You write "hey! SomeBand is my favorite. Did you see their new music video? I don't know how they got those cats to act!" And then respond with "no", end of message. I'm just like my friend, that is not how you use this tool. What do you think is going to happen next?
But yeah, women refusing to take initiative probably isn't helping. But the roots of that are pretty deep in our sexist society, and I don't see that changing any time soon.
"why aren't I having fun conversations?"
You are taking their question at face value. What they really mean is why am I not being contacted by attractive people?
Don't get me started on men on dating apps. Obviously my experience is second hand, but from what I can gather, it's generally a race to send a dick pic, them thinking money can buy everything, them having as you said no idea how to have a conversation and then there's the ones that get no response and so start with the harassment.
One thing that I find really perplexing is all the profiles that state, "no pen pals", what's the point of being on a dating app if you're not going to vet people. It's like letting someone do surgery because they look like a doctor and then wondering why they're on trial for murdering the village. I just wanna figure out if we have sustained chemistry. If you can't be arsed to message me for a week or two, you're not gonna wanna date me are you?!