this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2025
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Fedigrow
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I think feeld recently was revealed to have all of their information and apis public. Like anyone could find any message and photos, and do CRUD operations on them.
https://fortbridge.co.uk/research/feeld-dating-app-nudes-data-publicly-available/
Also the app kind of sucks, at least as a free user. It does the same bullshit as all the others where it doesn't actually connect you with people. And some classes of users (eg: women) get bombarded with low quality content while others get nothing.
Hinge also kind of sucks for the same capitalism reasons, but it's better than the others I tried.
Hey, I didn't say the crop was great.
Since that research went public, they had a redesign of the app, I dunno if that fixed the security issues, so don't quote me on that. I do know that their socials are decent.
In general though, dating apps are a female lead experience. Misogyny means that a lot, (most in my personal experience), reject that experience. So where women being the commodity should be finding the men and initiating contact. Instead they believe it's more romantic if a guy finds them and messages first. I've got friends that don't open the apps except to check likes and respond to messages, not being proactive in the least. There's a bunch of profiles without faces citing work reasons. Women will demand creative opening messages and then respond with the lamest, low effort response ever. Women on dating apps need to realise they rule the world and lead by example.
I think Bumble has the closest thing to the perfect model, but holy fuck the Match group decided to turn it into a piece of shit. The Match group should be broken up, it's a monopoly and it's a hindrance to happy healthy relationships.
Match group 100% should be broken up.
I think a lot of people, of all genders, are surprisingly bad at the skills needed to use a dating app successfully. People dead end conversations and then are like "why aren't I having fun conversations?"
Like, a profile says "I love SomeBand". You write "hey! SomeBand is my favorite. Did you see their new music video? I don't know how they got those cats to act!" And then respond with "no", end of message. I'm just like my friend, that is not how you use this tool. What do you think is going to happen next?
But yeah, women refusing to take initiative probably isn't helping. But the roots of that are pretty deep in our sexist society, and I don't see that changing any time soon.
You are taking their question at face value. What they really mean is why am I not being contacted by attractive people?
Don't get me started on men on dating apps. Obviously my experience is second hand, but from what I can gather, it's generally a race to send a dick pic, them thinking money can buy everything, them having as you said no idea how to have a conversation and then there's the ones that get no response and so start with the harassment.
One thing that I find really perplexing is all the profiles that state, "no pen pals", what's the point of being on a dating app if you're not going to vet people. It's like letting someone do surgery because they look like a doctor and then wondering why they're on trial for murdering the village. I just wanna figure out if we have sustained chemistry. If you can't be arsed to message me for a week or two, you're not gonna wanna date me are you?!