Ask Lemmy

I send Elon Musk to Mars.

The International Space Station. The sheer confusion value would be amazing, particularly if I stayed quiet about how it happened ("I went to bed, then woke up floating here. I've no clue how it happened").

I would get to cause a major incident of complete chaos, with little to no harm. I would get to experience space and weightlessness. I would also get a near guaranteed lift home (eventually). There's also almost no way it could be kept quiet, so I get to be a minor celebrity for a while.

Right next to Vladimir Putin. Only wish I carried a gun or knife or something but we're about to find out if an obese middle aged man can strangle to death an elderly Russian. Actually, let's make it interesting, drop me maybe 10-15 ft above his head.

I know there are probably better things or at least less suicidal things i could do but it's a chance to give my life meaning and the best I could think of.

To a place where there are plenty of crumbs.

Whatever the biggest televised event is in the next twenty four hours. I'm going to materialize naked live in air screaming "the end is nigh unless we repent" and then go into a list of ecological and social reforms.

Into the studio of some live tv programme, so it's caught on camera by a neutral party. Without teleportation to get back, there are no really cool or useful places I want to go to in the next 24 hours. So I might as well try to make some cash out of interviews and stuff.

1. Put on gorilla suit
2. Teleport to the ISS for the second time

I'd teleport to a parallel universe that has become an utopia full of futuristic medical solutions.

What's the nearest planet with an Earth-like atmosphere? Any particular star clusters that have a higher likelihood of harboring a civilization? If I can go anywhere, I'm taking a gamble and trying to find aliens. Even if I fail to find intelligent life, I'm already at a point where struggling to survive on an alien planet sounds better.

Without a return trip, that's pretty useless.

Teleport myself into Putin to do the world a favour

If there's no return option then I probably wouldn't use it. Maybe just to get to the shops or something and then walk back.

I teleport to friends house, to show her, that world isn't like we used to think.

I'd assume a cannonball shape and teleport myself into the body of any living murderous dictator (you can pick). I assume the sudden materialization of a 6' tall, 200 lb human inside another human's viscera would be a bit like swallowing a bomb. Even if it's more a case of chimeric horror, the result is the same so I'm OK with it.

to an alternate universe where magic is real and big titty anime girls want to form a party with me.

The US house of representatives, just to say "I bring a dire warning from the future"

My mom lives three large states away and has Alzheimer's but is still able to recognize people. She's well cared for, but I'm sole caregiver for my bedbound family member. I'm reconciled to the fact I cannot travel to visit her, but if I could go for just half an hour, even just one hug, I would.

Edit: Oh, one way only? Nvm.

I should probably use it to telefrag one of the active, living war criminals or one of their influential lackeys, but it's kind of hard to choose.

Into the core of the Sun. With the pressure and temperature I guess it will kill me before I can notice. A quick, painless, and rather unique way to die.
Cause of death: "Crushed and burned by Sun's core"

What?

I'd go to the basement of the guy's mom from that other post about only storing 100GB and steal his 130PB SAN.

I'd look up and memorize winning lottery numbers, then teleport back two weeks ago. (4-d space!) And then I'd just buy a lotto ticket and chill until my past self becomes my current self, but with lottery money.

So the ISS would probably be the coolest place I could go to but first I'd open up a GPS app on my phone and also set the camera recording so that it could potentially gather interesting data about the teleportation.

Go to work like normal, open the register, empty it (money is a person item) and vanish forever to rural Japan.
Make sure I teleport to where non one sees it.

Alternatively: teleport to new Zealand, yall know exactly why.

"Mars!"

Freezes and suffocates

Do I have to use it on myself, or even a living being? Any constraints on size, weight, accessories?

One way or round trip? That makes a big difference...

Is this a one-way trip?

Teleport to my road trip destination. My wife can handle the last two hours herself. I'm too risk adverse to carry out a heist or something and that would really mess up our vacation. I'll just go ahead and get the hotel room ready and take a shower.

I’ll walk into a park full of stoners, grab their attention and teleport home.

Home from DnD tomorrow because I don't have a car and it's COLD OUT