Ask Lemmy

Honestly, it sounds like you've been spending too much time in some online communities that are doom posting about everything. Do things suck right now? Yes, but they've literally sucked for as long as human society has existed. Things can always be better, or always be worse. However you can't just sit around passively waiting for the times to change, or your life will suck.

The single biggest factor in whether your life is good or not is you and your actions. Don't let things outside of your control convince you to give up. Do the best with what you have, and I promise you that you can find fulfillment and happiness in the life available to you.

The amounts of copium in this thread are extinction-level.

Everything you just said is 100% valid and you are simply correct.

The thing is, it's not a measure of a healthy mind to thrive in a profoundly sick society where the worst of the worst have won long ago.

There's this thing called depressive realism which posits that depressed people, by and large, perceive reality much closer to how it really is than neurotypical people.

Essentially, "normal" people have an (innate or learned) positivity bias. Which is usually a good thing. People like us are the outliers.

But positivity bias in a world where it's actually harmful is another thing. The majority of people are walking headlong into their own extinction while going "Ehh, it's not so bad", while we should ALL be positively irate and picketing the homes (not companies) of our owner class 24/7.

But it hasn't happened yet and at this point I don't know how bad things need to get before people realize what's going on.

My thinking is if I don't even make enough to not have to live in the streets/in my car while also working 40-60 hours a week, then it's simply not worth the stress. If I'm gonna be homeless whether I have a job or not, might as well stay unemployed.

you unironically just have to cope with it in whatever way makes sense to you

I personally think of my career as: "some things I do are interesting and keep me from blowing my brains out, the rest I don't care about"

when it comes to the company I work for: I treat everyone I meet well, no corporate bs, no yes sir yes ma'am. I do whatever I'm assigned and meet deadlines

but I never go above and beyond (because of burnout)

everything you've thought about hard work = reward or better pay is a scam

put everything into work-life balance and when you go home focus on things you really want to do, such as hobbies or hang outs

don't do unpaid overtime, don't bend over for anyone, don't offer yourself up when shit goes down

you want to be as invisible as possible while not burning out AND not working your ass off (everyone has different standards for what this means)

tldr: just find some way to cope because there isn't really anything else you can do

I work because I enjoy healthcare, food, and shelter. The system has always been rigged, so you just have to find something you enjoy (or can tolerate doing). Ideally try to think about things that make you happy and can pay you, and maybe try doing something in that field.

When I go on vacation to tropical states there are always some overly tanned boat captains that just drive drunk tourists around and get paid decently well for it. I always think about those guys when I'm having a hard day at work, "man, they sure figured it out"

If I don't work I become homeless and starve to death. I do the minimum to keep my job and fuck the rest.

I used to be in a bad space, getting off the internet more and living life more helps a lot, I am not trying to dismiss your concerns, but I think you will find the real world to be much less extreme than what's on the internet.

I mostly stopped following politics, the amount of injustice make me angry and unable to function, but I came to the realization that I am not the kind of person who is going to devote his quite literally limited time on earth to trying to fix other people's stupidity, I go out and vote in elections, then I live my life, that's it.

Being online and reading people bitching about stuff and saying how bad it's gonna be doesn't really get you anywhere only into a bad space mentally, so why read it? I have curated a homepage on lemmy thats almost completely politics free, what's politics is mostly satire to make me laugh, I feel better, and I focus on being a better me.

TL;DR: The following is going to be dark and harsh but it all comes down to one thing. Life doesn't get better, you get better at dealing with shit. Hang in there.

You need to disconnect and find a way to focus on you.

It feels like the entire system is a scam and it's pointless to even try.

It has always been a game where the only way to win is to cheat. Always.

It feels all but certain that I won't be able to enjoy a prosperous life or get to retire.

The system is not setup with rest (retirement) as its main goal. The system is setup for you to play until you die. Even if you hoard more money than you and your descendants could possibly spend in a hundred years, you would likely still want to play, because you are winning. If your end goal is mere prosperity and retirement, then you should prepare to be under the boot and a slave until you die.

All of the wealth is going straight to the top.

Always has been the case. It hasn't stopped people from finding a way.

All of the opportunities to move up in the world are being rug-pulled.

This has always been the case. You have to make your own opportunities and expect others to drag you down. We are all crabs in a bucket.

All of the federal agencies that help keep us safe and healthy are gone. The social safety net is getting flushed down the toilet.

Fantasy. These things has never existed in this country. At best, FDR gave us a yoga mat to land on when we fall off a cliff, where before it was a bed of nails. Fall hard enough in this country and you will get wrecked no matter what. It has always been that way.

We will live in disease and squalor, and the most vulnerable of us will die.

Same as it ever was.

Because I dared to not be a sociopath, I and anyone else who voted for sanity will be deemed enemies of the state and hunted down - which won't be hard, because it would be trivial to build the most robust surveillance state in human history if it doesn't exist already.

Take a breath. Here is a truth that will sound harsh but it is meant as a kindness. You do not matter. Just about nobody knows you exist. Nobody is coming to get you. This fact applies to almost everyone.

Since all we can do is live the life we perceive with the meat in our skull, we tend to see ourselves as the main character in the story of life. We're not. We barely qualify for NPC status.

I myself have disabilities (which I don't think qualify for benefits) that make it hard, but not impossible, to find a job.

That's a problem, I am sorry. All problems have a solution, but one unlikely to be found here, with Internet strangers.

The problem is that I just can't bring myself to do it because I don't get what the fucking point is anymore. I have to work so hard to get out of this rut just for some fascist fuck to kill me or toss me into a torture facility before I can even experience life on my own.

Again. Breathe homie. That's not going to happen.

Have you been in a similar headspace and were able to escape it?

100%...often. I have lived with chronic, sometimes crippling, depression and fairly severe PTSD since 1989. Long story short, a lot of trauma broke my brain. Combo that with ADHD, borderline personality disorder, heart disease and cancer, and we are living the life baby! Still, I have been able survive and rise from poverty to wealth without hurting too many people...I hope.

If so, what snapped you out of it?

Nothing did. I just kept getting up out of spite and contempt for this life. As time went on, i got used to it. The bullshit bothered me less until it just became background noise. A nuisance from time to time.

TL; DR Get in on the scam.

Pick something you like to do, or have a talent for, and plan a path to make money from it. You may still have to work for someone else initially, to develop skills and get experience, but it will be better than doing a shit job only for money.

Research what resources there are to support your startup. Even in places where there is no help from government or anything else for individuals, you will find they want to support business.

Especially if you have extra challenges, if you get good, they will make a narrative around your success and promote you as an example.

If I want things, I need money and the only way to get money without practically committing any financial crime that there is, it's to work for it. Quite frankly, it's unhealthy to be bathing yourself with this mentality of dreading the reality of the matter. I won't disagree that it sucks, but there has to be other directions out there for you than just that.

But I do suspect the reason you're feeling this way is because of you mentioning disabilities and I can't imagine the kind of world you're in where, it seems like there's a layer of disrespect towards the disabled when it comes to work.

Maybe try to find a small business you care about or interests you? I own a small business. It's me, my wife, my sister-in-law and two friends I made in the industry. We all get paid $16/hr. We got to create the environment we wanted to work in. Its a lot of work but we're happy and feel more free than we would elsewhere.

I know I'm coming from a point of privilege writing this but I like to think we're all on equal footing at my place and we're doing our best to grow together rather than making me rich. I've worked for a lot of small businesses as well and they often have more respect for skills and individuals - not all - but a lot. If you find a place you like or even love it can become like a second home.

Leave the country

It's not easy. What I found helpful is if you can separate work and personal life. Only work for money unless you start your own business.

Separating the two allows you not to care if the business does poorly, it allows you to not feel guilty when your boss fails or the business does poorly, or needs extra help but you have a date that night.

I was laid off in September from a company, started a new company on Monday, they announced layoffs on Tuesday, and found out Wednesday my job is safe. Suffice to say, companies don't care about you so get in, cash out.

I have no answer for you. Really, there is no point. Hopefully enough people give up on the system that it crashes and we can start over.

For a while there I was a homeless alcoholic. Now I'm an alcoholic. Given the choice between the two I know which I'd rather.

Get a pet.

There. Now go to work or it dies.

Consider this practice for children.

I get the sense from your wording that you might be in the younger end of the spectrum. Although the world can feel pretty shitty and messed up, it's often worth remembering "this too shall pass". Obviously no one wants the world to be awful, and living through hard times isn't desirable, but just like the good stuff never lasts, the bad stuff changes too. The Great Depression lasted a decade, the Nazis ran Germany for just a bit longer.

Those were presumably fucking dreadful times to live through. But the decades that followed were comparatively prosperous for the countries. What's happening in the US is depressing as all hell, but it'll change, and all you can do is the best you can to make it less dreadful, for yourself and the people around you.

It is a scam, but we need to eat and have a roof over our heads. So you have to find something that you can tolerate and try to get paid as much as you can for as little time as you can give. This is the game we are in. Unfortunately in the current system money talks, it is not fair but that is how it is.

I work to have money for shelter and food and, just as importantly, some spending money for hobbies and travel. The freedom to be able to drive basically anywhere any time is a great thing to have.

The inequalities today are large but also the standard of living for even the lower class is probably higher than any other time in history. You can go your entire life without holding a shovel or hammer or piece of firewood Imagine instead having to build your own house, grow your own food, and cut firewood to stay warm. Things aren't so bad.

I mean, work is always a shit deal, trading life for money but you need money for life also including retirement which is a lot less guaranteed for millenials and younger.

I'd recommend learning a trade like electrician or plumbing. You get fat stacks and control your own time. It takes a bit of time to learn but the work you do will never be a scam since it's you working for an average person and yourself.

I feel the same. I found a way to leave the country. Will be leaving in the new year. I have kids and I can't have them growing up here anymore. Time to try something new.

Get offline, and simplify. Start doing things that are good for you. There is yet joy to come.

You are not wrong. It’s a very unfair world we have build. And a lot of people are struggling even though there are plenty of resources to make sure every single person on earth could have their needs met and the opportunity to live a meaningful life.

BUT we have to dare to hope. Because otherwise we just give up and the people on top is counting on that. ”We have the power and there is nothing you can do about that”. I think David Graeber is one of the most hopeful people to read:

“Hope is a tricky business among intellectuals and activists. Cynicism, though it’s often inaccurate about both human nature and political possibilities, gives the appearance of sophistication; despair is often seen as sophisticated and worldly-wise while hopefulness is seen as naive, when the opposite is not infrequently true. Hope is risky; you can lose, and you often do, but the records show that if you try, sometimes you win.

His essay Despair Fatigue opens: “Is it possible to become bored with hopelessness?”

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/nov/07/david-graeber-optimistic-anarchist-rebecca-solnit