this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2024
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By that I mean basically unexpected oases in your life where and by whom you feel nurtured and restored and just safe in the moment?

For me, it was a woman at work who became like a mother to me and I'll think a bit more about physical spaces but that is a very important aspect also

Try not to say your home space cuz that should be a given. Think outside the crib

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

When my cat headbutts me. I love that little guy

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I came across a cat while riding my bike. I pstpstpsted at it for like five minutes, and it kept pretending not to be interested. Then, out of nowhere, it just walked up to me - didn’t even stop to sniff, just went straight in for a headbutt and demanded petting.

I gave him a full deep-tissue massage, and he loved it, as if no one had ever petted him before. I don’t think I’ve ever met a cat that friendly.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

Respect the deep-tissue massage

[–] RagnarokOnline 24 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The shower. Sometimes I just sit down in the tub and let life roll away in heated bliss

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh man. That with a nice, cold drink. Often a beer or cocktail. The dichotomy is glorious.

Sweet, sweet, naked, hot bliss.

[–] RagnarokOnline 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This guy showers!

Have you tried a “shower orange”? Can’t recommend it enough.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

shower orange

Great offer particularly for a trying time

[–] [email protected] 19 points 3 weeks ago

Falling backwards into a soft snowbank in full winter gear and basically falling asleep while snowflakes drift down, melting on my face but otherwise slowly covering the rest of me. Absolute perfection.

Thanks op, it's nice to think about this stuff

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Walking the streets and sleeping rough a couple of days after arriving in Amsterdam, tired and hungry, a Portuguese guy with almost nothing himself invited me to his squatted place and cooked patato and onion soup and offered me a glass of port and a place to rest. I still hold this memory close.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago
[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago

I live on an island in the Atlantic. There's this beach cottage nestled in the dunes along the southern shore, and it's been there for over a hundred years. The wealthy family that owns it no longer lives on the island, but they love the space and don't want it to fall into ruin so they've had a series of caretakers for the past thirty years or so. The position is unpaid, BUT it comes with the freedom to use the property year-round. I was the caretaker for fifteen years, and a few years back passed the title down to a friend (so I can still visit.) It's one of the most magical places on Earth, and every time I'm there it's like my health and mana bars get refilled.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Nordic spas. Going from dry saunas to cold pools to warming up again in hot tubs or wet saunas and doing it over and over again... Ahhhhhhh

Great question and the fairy fountain angle is a neat way of asking it.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Climbing gym, I roll up high as fuck and put my headphones in and go hard for like an hour or two. When I’m done it’s the absolute best feeling especially when I finish a project route or just do something cool.

Unfortunately all the gyms in my area are closed because of hurricane Helene so I haven’t been able to go for a while.

[–] RagnarokOnline 4 points 3 weeks ago

I don’t know Eric Andre lived on the eastern seaboard

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Beaches. Specifically where the ocean is hardcore and there's huge rocks that the waves crash against. There's this deep sort of infrasound that comes out of the big waves when they meet the big rocks and it's just like heaven.

My dream is to travel to Nazaré, Portugal and watch the waves there. Bliss. Almighty powerful bliss.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

infrasound

Thanks for that word

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

The woods/forest. I love to go forest bathing when the weather and my schedule allows, and camping (even at populated camp sites) is so enjoyable.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Lake Michigan. The dunes are made of the softest sand and some of the most beautiful parks are along the lakeshore. I remember going one winter with some friends and it was probably one of my favorite trips. Honestly, I don't really remember my friends much, but I remember how crisp the air was. Some of the ice on the lake had cracked and ran into more ice, forming ridges. The night was so silent that you could hear it groaning. For a moment, we were the only people on Earth.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

That sounds beautiful. You really captured the moment

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Western North Carolina 😭

Hoping to get back there soon and bring my tourism $$ with me when they are ready. The mountains are my happy place and make me feel like a kid again.

Also, bike riding (when I'm not in a conflict with cars) is giving me a lot of joy. Especially when there are other bikers about.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Folks down there could use that money right now, they're still in rough shape from the hurricane. :/

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah. 😢 If anyone feels like donating, here are a few orgs that could use the cash:

South Toe VFD: https://www.gofundme.com/f/donate-to-south-toe-fire-depts-hurricane-efforts

Mountain Community Health Partnership: https://www.mchp.care/

Yancey County Helene recovery venmo: https://account.venmo.com/u/YanceyCountyGovt-HeleneRelief?catchAll=u&catchAll=YanceyCountyGovt-HeleneRelief

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 weeks ago

A deserted beach we found one time. Very peaceful and beautiful.

Sitting by a bonfire all bundled up. Maybe even drinking cocoa or tea.

When someone I love hugs me tight.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago

Taking a kayak out into one of the local waterways on an early morning. We have a few canals that run through a nature area on the outskirts of the city. Around that time no one is yet on the water and I can just glide peacefully past the water lilies and other plants. The silence is so soothing. Everything just seems to live and breathe all around me.

It's great until about an hour later, when some of the locals use their motor boat to put-put-put down the canal, stinking up the place with their exhausts :P

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago

My home garden. I'm by no means a great gardener but I'm a software developer working from home and just popping in there to spend 30 minutes caring for the plants is really refreshing.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My closest fairy fountain is hundreds of miles away. I kind of lost that when I moved away from my previous friends. I used to have people where I am like that, but you could say the fairy is gone from those fountains.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Mine did too but the benefit and positive influence did stay with me and we can chat legit anytime I want and we're right back into it

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

I have two spots on the other side of the country, that I haven't seen in almost twenty years, that still serve this function if trying to calm myself down. One is a waterfall in what was then a very lush patch of forest. Another is a quiet bay surrounded by pine trees.

If I'm having a rough time, more likely than not I'm slowing down my breathing and visualizing one of these places.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I have two, and they are both very different.

The first is not entirely peaceful or relaxing but it was a moment of pure happiness and respect. We were doing the Swiftsure race and the whole time we had this incredible crew cohesion, like a hive mind. We all knew what we were doing and completely trusted our fellow crew that they did too. The respect I felt from those folks, that I was a valued and knowledgeable member of the team, bouys me when I have moments of imposter syndrome or self doubt. There were peaceful moment during the race, sailing downwind at 3am with the crew all bundled up together, some dozing and some just staring at the multitude of stars in the sky. But it’s the feeling of respect and teamwork that makes it for me. My skipper is the only one I’ll race with anymore, I trust him with my life. We also did pretty damn good with a 3rd place win!

The second is the west coast of Vancouver island. From tofino, Jordan river/renfrew/sombrio, cape scott, anywhere along that coast brings me so much peace. I want to sail around Vancouver Island and spend a month just puttering down the coast.

Thank you for asking such a wonderful question, it’s put me in a great frame of mind ❤️

Edit: And an honourable mention goes to the forests of Appalachia. Western Maryland specifically. The age and gravity of the place makes me feel steeped in the history and lore of the world.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

YvW (you're welcome!)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My bed. Im not depressed when I'm asleep.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I have sad dreams too sometimes, nowhere is safe ;(

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Cant remember the last time I remember a dream, even when I was young, Id get maybe one dream every few months.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I remembered one a few days ago but there was a 3ish month gap to my last dream.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Last night I dreamed that I was in a Mortal Kombat fight, and my character was Lucifer (Peter Stormare from Constantine) with a goofy laughing expression on his face and he could shoot purple lasers out his eyes. (Edit hold on i have to generate this i don't know you didn't ask but HERE)

I'm sorry about your sad dreams though

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Do you ever experiment with low music that you enjoy or a comfortable soundtrack or audiobook slowed down and lightly playing the whole time?

I find it can really help set a positive influence on my sleep and the content that comes out while sleeping and dreaming

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

I've tried a few times but it makes it harder to fall asleep. The most success I've had with it was when I was really tired and fell asleep watching a badly translated version of one of the original Star Wars films (empire strikes back?).

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

Two people (that I rarely get to see) plus my cats.

As far as places go I like my room but I get bothered there too, so probably the cat corner in the cellar or some places I've made nice experiences during events.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

I have a little spot out back. It's small, and at the base of a woodsy hill. My bird feeder is back there, a swing chair, some crap speaker from work and a little fan for when it's hot. I started going out there just to smoke, but now I really look forward to it. I even invested in furniture risers. I'm tall, but always wanted to have my feet swing again like I was a kid. Now I get to do that and be high. 👍🏾

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago

The intro theme to Cheers.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I don't know, I don't think I have one of these in a consistent manner. Home space isn't necessarily that effective for everyone, so it's not a given.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Not one in the whole journey?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 weeks ago

No, all I can say is when I was a child my mother and occasionally grandmother had that effect. It started to get less effective during my teens and it's certainly no longer a thing anymore. As for other sources that truly nurture AND make me feel safe, no, I can't think of a single one. I've had plenty of people taking nurturing and protective roles in my life but I wouldn't say their effect was of full restoration and complete safety. Same goes for places. Something is always amiss or not enough for full recharge and safety.