A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.
Rules
The weird thing is, they don't actually sell the jars anymore. "Ball jars" are not made by the ball jar corporation after their antitrust lawsuits for being a fucking jar monopoly. So they sold the "ball jar" rights and now only do aluminum cans for food packaging and high end satellites and satellite launch systems.
now only do aluminum cans for :
- food packaging
- high end satellites
- satellite launch systems.
I find this interpretation funny
Aluminum cylinders only.
Not aluminum? Not interested. Not a cylinder? Not a chance.
Squared off glass cylinder? Legally prohibited.
Most advanced cans in the airspace industry
Well they don't produce can'ts
those 🕘 sweet 🕞sweet🕞 cans🕓
No monopoly lawsuits in space
The year is 3506. The Deimos Corporation has expanded into Phobos, Luna, and all the other moons of the solar system.
Making it... A moonopoly.
They don't even do aerospace anymore. Ball Aerospace & Technologies was bought by BAE Systems earlier this year.
Well then what would you say you do here
Let me tell you. bob.
On December 11, 1939, the U.S. Government sued the Ball Brothers, the Hazel-Atlas Glass Co., and the Owens-Illinois Glass Co. under monopoly charges based on the Hartford-Empire and Owens licensing agreements. The plaintiff claimed that small producers were being frozen out of business or prohibited from entering manufacture by the nature of the licenses. Almost a decade later, in 1947, the justices rendered a final verdict. The court prohibited the Ball Brothers from purchasing or otherwise controlling any other businesses engaged in the same manufacturing processes – in other words, the small jar producers. In addition, Ball had to divest itself of the Three Rivers Glass Co. (already closed for almost a decade) that Ball had acquired in 1936. Ball sold the property
oh thats good to know. i've got a few satellites lying around that i've been meaning to launch
they're literally this
Let’s not forget the Samsung Galaxy Autonomous Sentry Gun that autonomously shoots people based on thermal imaging.
And it fired the whole bullet casing and all.
"That's 65% more bullet per bullet."
Me: I need some tires.
Michelin: No problem, anything else?
Me: I don't suppose you know where I can get a list of the best restaurants in the world?
Michelin: You're not gonna believe this.
The whole point of the Michelin guides were originally to entice people to drive more to visit hotels and restaurants and such, thus leading to more tire wear which would lead to more tire sales, and eventually more money for Michelin.
I like that the Guinness Book of World Records was created because the manager of Guinness Breweries wanted to stop arguments in pubs (and keep people drinking).
The Guinness Book of World Records is in the Guinness Book of World Records itself, for being the book most stolen from libraries.
That’s almost as good as Aperture Science selling shower curtains and multidimensional portal devices.
Well, I don't think they ever actually sold any of the portal guns...
Is that because nobody would buy them or because Aperture fell to ruin before they could put it on the market? 🤔
They were too expensive! The Device was more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here].
They do what they must because they can.
They wanted to sell the multidimensional portal device as a shower curtain.
i guess we doin telescopes now
My coworker at Siemens was completing the trifecta: Ball, Cummins, Siemens. The perfect career trajectory
You work with glass long enough, you start making the craziest shit out of it.
Me: pour me a guiness, please
Bartender: here you go mate
Me: by any chance do you know where I can get a record of the world’s longest mustache
Bartender: well you won’t believe this…
Me: Get me some Michelin tires, please
Mechanic: Here you go mate
Me: by any chance do you know where I can get a detailed guide of the finest restaurants in the country?
Mechanic: well you won't belive this...
Me: Another Guinness please
Bartender: Here you go
Me: urgh what is this?
Bartender: A Stout. Why, is it bad quality?
Me: It seems so. Don't you have a way of testing this beforehand?
Bartender: Now that you mention it....
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ball_Corporation
Environmental record
The Ball Corporation has made improvements to its environmental record since 2006, when the company began its first formal sustainability efforts.[50] In 2008 the Ball Corporation issued its first sustainability report and began releases subsequent sustainability reports on its website.[45] The first report was an ACCA-Ceres North American Sustainability Awards cowinner of the Best First Time Reporter award in 2009.[51][citation needed]
In the Toxic 100 list for 2004, using data from 2002, researchers at the University of Massachusetts Amherst's Political Economy Research Institute (PERI) identified the Ball Corporation as the 59th-largest corporate producer of Air pollution in the United States, with an estimated 4.57 million pounds of toxic air released annually.[52] The PERI report for 2008, using data from 2005, ranked the Ball Corporation 54th on its Toxic 100 list; PERI's report for 2010, using data from 2006, ranked it 65th.[53] The PERI studies indicated major pollutants included glycol ethers and 1,2,4-trimethylbenzene.[54]
The PERI Toxic 100 Air Polluters list for 2013 ranked the Ball Corporation as 619 in its list of companies producing the most air pollution in the United States.[55] In 2015 Newsweek ranked the Ball Corporation as 70th in their "Green 2015" report, which reviewed the environmental performances of the 500 largest publicly traded companies in the United States.[56][57][58]
Damn, it seems like they're actually making an effort at improvement.
Even the space telescope looks shocked.
I need a pepper mill from the company that invented it Peugeot: I got you, buddy I also need a shitty car that breaks down all the time Peugeot: You're not gonna believe this
The US government casually approaching heatshield fabrication company ltd. asking them to make nuclear warheads for the price of a gazillion dollars.
Government contract work is a funny thing.
You're not going to believe this but Ball made all of the mirror ... except the mirror itself.
Me: Man, that's a pretty nice line of printers you have.
Brother: Thanks!
Me: Hey, you don't happen to know where I can get a nice sewing machine do you?
Brother: You're not going to believe this...
