this post was submitted on 23 Jul 2024
1018 points (97.7% liked)

Programmer Humor

19819 readers
559 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 136 points 5 months ago (2 children)

That's either a professional level dad joke, or holy wow, does he not know how much you make?

That said, I'll build anyone a website for £500, no matter how large. But that's the base model. It'll be a template taken from a catalog, and Hugo. My maintenance fees are only £250 per hour.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 5 months ago

I'll build anyone a website. I'll do it for 450.

No refunds, though. (don't tell them this, but they won't be very happy with the product.)

[–] [email protected] 45 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's a pretty good racket. My friends boss saw us building ourselves a site one time when he let us use his shop on the weekend and he got intrigued.

So as payment for letting us use the machine shop we took over his business website from some expensive marketing company that charged a ton we got him down to a domain and a basic weebly plan. We took photos of the shop and just used their shop colors for the text and slapped on all the contact info he wanted.

Then his bookkeeper saw his site and wanted one so we did the same for her, then her son saw the site and wanted one for his friend who's a plumber. Next thing you know we are turning down jobs because everyone and their mother wants a $500 website from us haha. It became a better business than what we borrowed the machine shop for to begin with

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Very nice. I don't think there's anything better than being your own boss.

[–] [email protected] 103 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Static, low-js, HTML tags used-as-intended, some basic CSS for formatting, responsivity and dark/light. Modern-looking accessible webpage from scratch done in half a day.

Btw, https://github.com/lyoshenka/awesome-motherfucking-website

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The irony of some dude trying to prove a point that a website doesn't need to be bloated and burdened with all the design and fancy scripts, just for other people to incrementally built on top of that idea, one-upping each other in the process, mimicking the exact evolution of the modern bloated website as we know it.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

From one of them:

"You're a fucking moron if you use default browser styles."

Or just change your browser settings (they shouldn't be ugly by default).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

You have a problem with Mosaic Gray?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Honestly I hate the fact that browsers' default CSS exists. The person doing the frontend should have to specify their "default" CSS before the website even loads. I say this as both a user and a programmer, the same website shouldn't look different or break on different browsers unintentionally due to the browser's CSS, and I as a developer shouldn't have to rely on reset sheets to try to patch that.

Everything would be better if it were swapped around, instead of picking out a reset sheet for a site you pick out a default style...

The world would also be better if browsers rendered pugjs/slim and scss/sass and those were the default rather than html and css but I digress...

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

If we assume "half a day" is 4 hours, and 500 pounds. That's 125 pounds per hour. Which isn't the worst rate. Assuming it's actually capped at 4 hours and we all know that if it's your dad's friend, this is not going to be a set and forget kind of thing. So that 4 hours quickly becomes 10. And suddenly you're down to 50 pounds per hour. And then if it's actually static and simple and good, you still have high odds of getting insane feedback demanding changes to make it worse. A motherfucking website would actually be the best option, but wouldn't get you paid. At that point youre just doing it for the lols.

But ultimately, this isn't even about the rate or how much time this will take. this whole scenario depends heavily on the son here. Is the son unemployed and living in dad's basement for free? Then yeah. Sorry, he should probably take any work he can get for any rate he can get. His dad gets a lot more say in how things work financially if the son is relying on him financially. But if the son is already working a full time job and living in his own house? Then no, I don't care what the rate is. Don't commandeer other people's time. Don't make deals that people haven't agreed to. Come to me with opportunities, not demands.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, sorry, i couldn't resist to hint on how ridicolously overengineered most professional webpages are.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

https://theoatmeal.com/comics/design_hell

You're not wrong, but a lot of time those webpages aren't overengineered because the developer wanted it to be, but because the client kept making more and more demands.

[–] MagicShel 90 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

It's one website. How much could it cost, £500?

[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago (2 children)

What website weighs 500 pounds?!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Maybe it had too many cookies.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Probably a local gym.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago

The most important thing is what you'll get. A few static pages and stock images with the watermark still present, sure. Beyond that the meter starts running.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 69 points 5 months ago (2 children)

5000 pages, including e-commerce integration and bespoke search. £500!

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago

I don't know some of those words, probably ought to say it's 600 dollary-doos

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

There isn't that much money in the universe.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Do you guys have any idea how expensive a website is with a Large Screen size?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

goes to website on 47in TV

The price of development is insane

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Plugs in HTC Vive and uses WLX-overlay to enlarge the website to 100m virtually.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It's fine. It's just 25 pages, but they want 20 unique designs since those are all primary/landing pages. All on a normal sized screen.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

And it must work on mobile.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago

Yeah but how many normal-sized screens do you want it displayed on? Everyone has one these days. That soon adds up.

[–] Mikina 23 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I mean, if it's **just ** a normal screen-sized website, that already makes it a lot easier. Not having to deal with responsiveness bullshit would make webdev a lot better experience. That is assuming "normal screen" means 1920*1080, or whatever is the median screen size.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (2 children)

To be fair, using flex box (which is the default in many modern framework) would make responsiveness a breeze these days.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] MajorHavoc 11 points 5 months ago

It only needs to look good on whatever screen size the client's CEO's favorite administrative director uses, when she checks on it, on a Friday evening, seven weeks after delivery (but still well before I'll ever see my $500.00...)

Wish me luck guessing the screen size...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Just make it mobile first... and last ;)

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

Well he did just say designing, so lucky there. I'll send over some wireframes, sure

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

500 per pixel is my rate

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

My dad does this, and I made a few bucks thanks to WordPress. Really, more thanks to Elementor because you can make a pretty snazzy website for cheap and the layman has no it took 2 hours to put together with templates. Lol

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Dad who? Never heard of him. Wrong number

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

Found the fatherless!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

500$/hour is so good tho?? smh

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

The implementation itself? Plausible.

The requirements gathering? Gonna be way more than an hour.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 months ago

"Works best on Internet Explorer at 800×600"

load more comments
view more: next ›