this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
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Besides crypto...

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 5 months ago

More hugging time with the dog. 10 years go by fast.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I'd go to my doctor and get a head start on what's to come.

I'd go to festivals and spend more time with friends.

Leave an toxic relationship.

But uh you probably meant how to make cash.

Buy Gamestop, Nvidia & Pfizer stock.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Bro, just put 10k into BTC in 2014 and you’re gonna do well.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Nah, not just monetary gain! Just wanted to get in front of the most obvious answer.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I'd pump out the MAGA merchandise. I'm talking grift of biblical proportions.

Would you like a cherry on top? After becoming America's #1 purveyor, I'd go all out telling the world that I got rich suckering rubes.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Put the big reveal on the 3rd last page of your book : Becoming MAGA Rich , that way they have to buy the book first 😄

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (3 children)

.......you guys realize that you're both overthinking it. Maga books won't make you rich. They don't buy books. They BURN books. If anything, you release a book with Obamas face on it, and the title of the book is "Very Burnable". The pages don't even need text. Just a thick wad of paper, Obamas face on the cover, with the text "Very Burnable".

Then charge $200 per book.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Get that ADHD diagnosis a lot earlier!

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Probably a several-way bet on trump winning a presidency, suggesting everyone inject themselves with bleach and then staging a coup, Britain shitting the bed, deciding to leave the EU, manifesting £60bn of debt and shocking the Queen to death, Russian war in Europe, a global pandemic killing millions getting turned into political football, the Taliban taking over Afghanistan again, several of the big names in 2016 dying, a trend of people wanting to eat laundry capsules & idk Alec Baldwin shooting someone.

I reckon a quid on that would net me enough to buy an island with a mansion on it

Fuck me, have we had a bad decade

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 months ago

Plot twist, your crazy bet goes viral (no pun intended) and the guy who dropped the test tube in Wuhan was late to work that day because he was watching a video about it. No pandemic occurs, Trump fades into obscurity, and a small company working on climate change solutions makes an incredible finding and fixes the planet because they didn't have to go bankrupt during COVID.

Alec Baldwin still shoots someone.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I'd wait a couple of years and talk my ex-husband into keeping our house and renting it instead of selling it when we split up. It made sense at the time, since selling it was the fastest way to pay off all of our mutual debt (and most of our individual debt, too) and make it an easy split, but if we'd waited a few years, we would've made a solid 6 figure profit. I have no desire to be a landlord and mostly I'm glad we sold it to a nice family for what was still an affordable amount, but it would've been the only way I could ever afford to buy anything else on a single income, and it would've set him and his new wife up a lot better. I kind of hate the idea morally, but from a purely pragmatic view, it would've made sense.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

PPE and Vaccine maker stocks, it'll be 5 years to get the initial capital but once I've got it together, those are gonna explode in value on me.

I'd hesitate to switch my college of choice for the friends I'd lose out on, but if I did I would know where I'd try extra hard to get in instead. Def reconsidering the major I study though, the one I went with was sold to me as one of the best and turned out to be fucking useless trying to find any work.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Nothing. No money for investments then or now, which is also why I never kept up enough with stocks, crypto etc. to be able to cheat the market as a one-time time traveller. Plus I have several medical issues (then and now) that remain unsolved mysteries.

Only thing I can think of is using a bigger boot partition when I installed reinstalled Ubuntu from scratch about 5 years ago.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Least Linux-obsessed Lemmy user :P

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Besides moving to linux sooner, I would not dual boot at all, since I almost never used the other system.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Realistically, I would grieve the loss of my children, who would never be born if I didn't line things up just right to cause them to happen again. I'd spend more time with my parents, who are getting along in the years, and I'd make the most of my time with them while they're healthy and happy.

There are a few specifics where I'd try to get some loved ones out of trouble before some critical tipping point that would later cause a bunch of heartache and stress.

There are general things about money and politics I'd probably do differently, knowing about how stocks have performed and what not, but that's not super interesting to me, because I'm mostly content in my personal life (including my career) and wouldn't want to upset that balance by doing anything too different from what brought me here.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Buy a lot of fertilizer, break into the set of The Apprentice.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I appreciate the commitment to the bit in the username

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Let's see... that would be 2014... Uh... Fuck. Yeah, crypto is the only answer. 🤷🏻‍♂️

And more personally: I wouldn't get married. I wouldn't even go down the path that led me to meet my ex-wife. Fuck all that.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I would help myself become more confident, less anxious and a better person.

I know that sounds lame but that alone would be worth more than any stock tips to me.

Sending my mind back to the past is the wish I keep in my back pocket to blurt out if I see a falling star or meet a geanie.

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[–] ElderberryLow 13 points 5 months ago

I would have started coding quicker and go into software development and leave the job I had.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Learn to play Bridge while my grandma is still alive.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago

Probably go seduce my wife as a stranger.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

Harambe, whatever happens, dont try to play with a child, that does not go well

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

I could start my transition 10 years earlier.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Since bitcoin is out, I'd buy all the Tesla stock I can.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Nvidia is also a good option

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Buy Tesla stock, sell at peak, buy Nvidia stock.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

Probably bitcoin and a couple other stocks I remember doing well.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I'm doing this from memory to stay in the spirit of the question. I'd buy ethereum, then pivot to zoom in early 2020, pivot back to etherum mid 2020, then finally to NVIDIA at the end of 2022. I'll look up how well my memory works have served me.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago (2 children)

OK, I did the math. I could turn $1K into $74M in 10 years with that strategy. I lost a year of growth because I thought Ethereum was released in 2013 however it was the white paper that was released in 2013, the coin started public trading in August 2015. Either way, I'd still be happy with that return.

  • 2014-06-19 twiddle my thumbs because Ethereum hasn't been released yet
  • 2015-08-01 $1.00 = 3.22ETH
  • 2020-01-02 3.22ETH = $421.24 = 6.12 ZOOM shares (also buy toilet paper and n95 masks)
  • 2020-06-01 6.12 ZOOM = $1538.262 = 6.80ETH
  • 2022-12-30 6.80ETH = $8170.67 = 570.18 NVIDIA shares
  • 2024-06-18 570.18 NVIDIA = $74773.41
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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I would start drinking coffee a lot sooner. I've found that it has a remarkable effect on my cognitive ability (supposedly a common thing amongst ADHDers), and in 2014, I'd have benefitted massively from that.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Besides the obvious monetary stuff, I'd be going into my second year of university knowing that I am autistic and having learned a lot of the social skills and coping strategies that I learned from therapy. I'd probably be able to find a fulfilling relationship before I turned 20 (rather than 28), and I would have felt far more comfortable joining up with clubs and groups at school and developing a social network.

I often feel bad that I only started getting help with those aspects of myself within the last couple of years. But I wasn't aware that I was autistic.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

If my previous consciousness coexisted: Support my young shitbrain self in the tough times he's going through and become the best supporter anyone could ever want...or maybe that already happened and that's why I'm constantly being sidetracked.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

I'd start taking my health seriously

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Bumping me back to 2014... I'd buy Nvidia stock and Gme stock.. Bitcoin .

I'd then ditch the ex wife earlier... Get into a local scene earlier and enjoy my time till my baby momma / best friend / wife came along.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Buy bitcoin, then eth when it's released, then solana when it's released. Sell at the top and start a cat sanctuary.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Purchase NVIDIA Stock.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Do better than I did with Bitcoin (sold it waaaaaay before it became money), Do better with GME etc., idk, probably little things here and there if I can remember them. Try to get the good ending.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

I'd tell Koby about the chopper

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

One thing I'm learning from these types of questions is that knowledge isn't power, money is. There is precious little I could do with future knolewedge outside of personal/family matters without first using that knowledge to make as much money as possible.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Divorce her earlier and keep more of my equity in the house I bought before we were married.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I would chill more, sleep around more, enjoy college more, and probably choose a different career. Also bet big on the Chiefs winning some Superbowls.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

~~I would buy stock in various companies such as NVIDIA, GME, AMC, etc.~~ Bet on political events such as Obama getting to appoint a Supreme Court justice who doesn't confirmed, how Trump announces his presidency, Trump winning the presidency, January 6, and Harris being Biden's running mate, Harris telling Biden "We did it, Joe", and Biden winning the Presidency. Can't forget Pence's fly friend during the debate.

I would give it another go with my ex since I would be aware of the issues that developed. If it doesn't work again, that would be a major mind fuck.

Getting in business with my current business partner, wouldn't have such a rough start since I still have the skills and knowledge from running a business.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

I could exploit the knowledge of my mistakes to do them all again but worse.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 months ago

Moderna and Phizer stocks with every cent I could muster

Quit my shitty job I had then

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