this post was submitted on 28 Mar 2024
469 points (89.1% liked)

Funny

6767 readers
312 users here now

General rules:

Exceptions may be made at the discretion of the mods.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 88 points 7 months ago (2 children)

You can definitely find men who flirt like all four of these examples.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 7 months ago

I mean, the flaunting of sexual organs as an attempt to show fitness for mating isn't exactly unlike those things

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 84 points 7 months ago (3 children)

They also literally scream all day at the top of their lungs, "WANNA FUCK??"

[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Yeah I hate it when I'm trying to enjoy myself at the park and there's a bunch of birds screaming at the top of their lungs about sex.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago

Think of the poor children, we can't let this continue

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Who Men or Birds? I mean that applies to both. If we are doing this whole sweeping generalization thing.

But seriously majority of Men aren't jerks. Just a surprising number of men who go around hitting/trying to get laid all the time are.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

It's just a cacophony of male birds literally shouting it over each other all day from sunrise to sunset.

Nature is so beautiful 😍

[–] [email protected] 43 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (4 children)

Okay but seriously giving shiny rocks to girls works pretty well. Not like jewelry or gemstones, literally just nice rocks.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Have you ever just sat and admired a well-tumbled stone? They're pretty to look at.

Bonus, if your person is the right type of crafty, they can turn those nice rocks into jewelry! I have a couple pieces my wife has made because they were just interesting stones she's found she thought I'd like.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Men, on the other hand, can be impressed by the gift of a good stick.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well I mean... Not exactly limited to girls. Who doesn't like a nice shiny rock? Nobody, that's who. Show me one person who claims to not have at least one good rock somewhere in their house. Can't do it can yeh? Didn't think so.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (4 children)

I got a rock last weekend that I'm still pumped about. I'm letting it just sit on top of my coffee table.

Edit: rock

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

God damn. Nice rock.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

One of my exes gave me a pebble, and said something about penguins giving a partner a pebble and they keep it for life. Pretty sure I lost it after a couple of weeks, and found a similar looking one and she never caught on ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 39 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Tbh most real birds probably act like the last one.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Ducks don't even ask. They just rape. Most birds don't have a penis, but ducks do. It's for raping.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago

Lemme smash.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 7 months ago

Pssh, this is completely untrue. The last time I impaled a bunch of small people and animals on a giant thorn, I didn't any attention. Well some, but the only from the police.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Building a beautiful house is slightly more involved than weaving together some sticks and twigs that you found.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Not if you don't have hands

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

Pigeon nests are even shittier than that. They literally put some twigs down and call it a day. Honestly it's a wonder how they even survive. Google for 'pigeon nest' for a good laugh, they're just so terrible at it, like imagine a person giving bits of wood as a house.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Bottom left is just actual neurodivergent flirting

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's also how it works in Stardew Valley

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Imagine how thrilled I was when I realized my crush likes to eat a common sort of rock I had like 30 of

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well, when clubbing I've often seen guys use the same mating strategy as street pidgeons.

[–] ICastFist 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Puffing their chest, wiggling their heads and weirdly "dancing" while rotating in place?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago (3 children)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago
[–] [email protected] 15 points 7 months ago

I'd be a Canada Goose

Hey baby wanna ...... HOOOOOONNNKKKK!!!! .....

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

I've only properly been a woman for like, 5 years now, but I've honestly only had one dude ever attempt the fourth panel. Most dudes who try to flirt with me do it by talking about their interests and relentlessly complimenting me every time I know something about it or have something to add. That said, it does work on me.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (10 children)

I wish men and or women flirted like birds 😔

Honestly our species sucks

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (6 children)

Our species' talent is speech, and that's what we use to flirt. That seems natural to me.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

We use to when we had free time. All work and no play makes you a dull boy.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

I'll take the top left bird please.

And I love how all we women have to do is just sit there and attract men. /s

load more comments
view more: next ›