this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Unsure if this counts as a quote but here goes.

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best

Absolute fucking nonsense.

[–] [email protected] 68 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

The worst part of this quote is that, in the original, she (Marilyn Monroe) actually framed her "worst":

>I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

So in the context it sounds more like "here are my flaws - take me or leave me, but you won't change me". Which sounds reasonable. But without that context it sounds more like "I'm entitled because I like to pretend that I'm above other people".

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[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Not see it. But I hear this one.

"it's always in the last place you look"

No shit Sherlock. Why would I keep looking after I found it?

[–] [email protected] 74 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I always thought that was the joke?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

I must say, in retrospect it kind of seems obvious, but this has somehow blown my mind

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What people really mean when they say this is

it’s in the last place you think to look

This again is a misnomer because, not just because you stop looking… but because people find it hard to admit things are lost. All part of the half serious, half ridiculous psuedo science of Findology (disclaimer: my own blog)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Embarrassingly it took me years to realize what that quote meant. I had always interpreted it to mean that the item is found in an unexpected place. But of course what it really means is that you stop looking once the item is found, therefore that's the last place you looked 🀦

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (6 children)

"We only use x% of our brain."

Simply not true as shown since years by neurology

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There are moments where people use more of their bran at once than they usually do.
We call these moments "seizures".

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (6 children)

This reminds me of the "you eat X amount of spiders in your sleep every year". It's also been debunked so many times and I see it popping up from time to time.

Even more ironic, this was created by some professor (?) to prove that starting fake viral facts was easy or something...

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you just add the words on average, suddenly it sounds more realistic, because who knows if there's a guy somewhere sleepwalking in a spider infested place

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Good old Spiders George

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I am surprised no one yet has posted the infuriatingly worthless expression of affectless sympathy:

thoughts and prayers

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

As a nonnative speaker, the first time I heard the expression was on Bojack Horseman and it confused the hell out of me.

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[–] JackbyDev 43 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Life's not fair." It seems that more often than not the person saying it is in a position to make the situation fair. Usually it is people in positions of power saying it and it feels more like an excuse for their inaction.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Hard men create easy times.

Easy times create soft men.

Soft men create hard times.

Hard times create hard men.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 year ago

Man creates dinosaurs

Dinosaurs eat man

Woman inherits the earth

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Which is ironically said the most by soft men who grew up in easy times.

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Everything happens for a reason.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

…often said with the unspoken implication that it’s a good reason, planned by a higher power, and that you should just meekly accept things and shut up.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago (4 children)

"Do or do not, there is no try"

The rallying cry of the kind of person who thinks every hobby has to become a side hustle.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I don’t see it anymore after leaving the hell that is Reddit, but I saw β€œPlay stupid games, win stupid prizes” multiple times in every thread.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I haven't seen "fuck around and find out" since the old Reddit days, either.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (13 children)

The friggin "definition of insanity" quote that is usually misattributed to Einstein. From some cursory research, a lot of first appearances of the quote come from the 80s, though I saw a few different sources from Narcotics Anonymous pamphlets to mystery novels.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't know who has to hear this but

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Anything on a decorative sign meant to hang in a house. Examples include β€œLive, Laugh, Love” (which has already been mentioned) or something about wine.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

For me its the one that promoted me to write this, the futurama quote "you're are technically correct, the best kind of correct"

I hate how people use it over at forums, it is repeated ad nauseam, even if it doesn't make much sense. It's probably from people using it constantly that I hate the quote, and not something that has to do with the meaning.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)

My least favorite is

Just be yourself!

Even in grade school I knew this was hogwash. I didn't act the same in class as during recess, or in church as when at the dinner table. Exactly which me was I supposed to be? When someone asks, "What am I supposed to do?" They are really asking, "How should I behave?" And if you've never been on a date before, or this is your first job interview, then it's not obvious.

A: "So, how did the interview go?"

B: "Not so well, he threw my resume away, in front of me, and ordered me to leave."

A: "What? Why?"

B: "Well, I did just as your said, I was being myself. I walked in, gave him the ol' finger guns, then started with my best fart joke."

A: "Why the hell would you do that at an interview?"

B: "Because that routine always slays in the dorms and I was trying to be myself."

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Don't be evil." -Google

Both hate and laugh it.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"pull yourself up by the bootstraps" it's literally impossible

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I always thought that was the point of the phrase.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The good old GNU/Linux quote.

I like Stallman's ideas on free software but this whole GNU/Linux thing is an absolute waste of time and I hate how it still gets brought up.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Yeah maybe, but it also makes you stranger.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Also not necessarily true. You might loose a limb and survive, but it could mentally wreck you and you're definitely weaker with one vs. two arms.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Especially virusses and bacteria: Your immune system gets a bit stronger but organs probably have small irreversable damages because there is scartissue where the infection was the worst.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (7 children)

"Survival of the fittest" (when used without trying to understand its actual meaning).

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"The customer is always right" conveniently missing the second part: "...in matters of taste and style".

Also misinterpreting "customer" as an individual rather than as the aggregate of customer demand.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

"live, laugh, love"

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"G stands for graphics, so it's gif with a hard g"

The only thing more meaningless than arguing about how to pronounce gif is using that as an argument, and yet it always gets repeated.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"P stands for photographic, so it's JPEG with an f sound" is the one that gets me

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not to mention it’s a made up rule that doesn’t apply to literally any other acronym (radar, sonar, NASA, NATO, scuba, etc.)

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

''what doesn't kill you, make you stronger'' it's just so overused and saturated

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