this post was submitted on 14 May 2024
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submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/programmer_humor
 
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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago (2 children)

When sacrificing the child, use a dagger made from obsidian. Cut upward from below the sternum, then force the rib cage apart. Push the lungs aside with your hands, then cut out the heart with your ritual dagger. Hold the heart up to the cheering crowd, and then place it in an earthen vessel in honor of the gods. Kick the body down the steps of the temple pyramid.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This ritual is common, but it has a bug in it that can be traced back to a specific SacrificeOverflow comment.

[–] onlinepersona 4 points 6 months ago

That's what happens when you use a knife shaped in a crescent moon.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Actually no. A transsternal access to the heart is impossible with stone tools, even obsidian. Middle american ritual sacrifices were performed transphrenic – they had less problems with the complications of that access as they didn't intend their victim to survive, in contrast to — most — modern surgeons.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Yes, I made the ritual description up for a joke. I've never performed a human sacrifice.