SOURCE - https://brightwanderer.tumblr.com/post/681806049845608448
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I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.
Like... if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you're a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.
The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.
| just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success... I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.
Idk, being sad about and grappling with the impermanent nature of things is kinda a fundamental part of being human.
Maybe it’s not fundamental and it’s just a phase that doesn’t last forever :P
Pity
Reminds me of the line in Willy Wonka “The suspense is terrible! I hope it’ll last.”
When I was young I used to like sculpting in modeling clay. After I had made whatever it was and shown it to my friends, I'd smush it up and make something else. I had a constant stream of people trying to get me to change my medium so that stuff could be made permanent, but I didn't like the feel and I was fine with the pieces being temporary.
There are a lot of things like that. People make ice sculptures or do performance art. People enjoy an experience, sometimes as simple as a sunset. Yes, some of those people will try to capture the moment, say with a photograph, but lots of people are okay with the ephemeral.
This is exactly why I love baking.
It’s temporary, it’s an experience, it leaves space for me to try new things without “waste” or clutter, and it feeds the people I love.
More permanent media leaves me stressed about perfectionism, and I don’t enjoy the process as much.
Reusing modeling clay is a lovely idea.
Saying "I love you" with food is a wonderful thing. My mom did that and I for sure learned that from her. I think the transient aspect of it is great too.
It's funny, one of the people who really wanted me to find a way to make my sculptures permanent was my high school art teacher, who I stayed friends with for a long time after graduating. Who left that school the year I graduated and went on to be a pretty well known imagineer at Disney. Not looking after he started there, he hit me up and said I have to buy some sculpy, which they used at Disney a lot. Turns out it feels just like modeling clay but you can bake it in the oven and it ends up like a hard plastic. So ironically, I still have a few pieces I made from back in the day.