Ask Lemmy

Live in a country with a decent amount of vacation days.

Don't wait until retirement. Balance your life now. It's going to be a long slog.

You don't need to find an amazing career that you’ll love doing until you die. People who get that are extremely lucky, and it's not the norm. You just need a job that will support you while still giving you time to do the things you enjoy.

Follow this: https://youtu.be/YHxwY3Fz2gU?feature=shared

I dealt with it by choosing to not have kids years ago. I didn't ask to be born, and I refuse to force that on anyone else.

Once things become too difficult, I'm pulling my own plug.

Live with underlying existential dread for decades. Watch as "doing what you love" becomes "hating what you used to love because you're forced to do it so that there's enough numbers in the computer to prove that you're worthy of continued existence." Contemplate the pointlessness of it all on a daily basis. Be reminded that your feelings are invalid because "other people have it worse" every time the topic comes up. Nod listlessly as "successful" people tout their own hard work while ignoring any factor luck and privilege played, then tune out when they shift into the dissonant duet of "I succeeded because I am exceptional" and "anyone can do the same if they just work harder."

Wake up the next morning and realize there's roughly 30 more years of this, barring a massive coronary or aneurism or something.

Don't hold on to things you haven't done before you retire... It is a waste of time and regretting not doing stuff, which lasts for moments, is the folly of youth.

Also what/who you want to do changes as you get older...

/sauce greybeard who is 10 years off retirement.

Here's a hot take. Do what you want when you are young. Find a way. I spent my 20's moving around, having shitty but fun jobs. I travelled. Saw all kinds of places and met all sorts of people. It wasn't easy and sometimes it wasn't fun. I found myself homeless even several times. I still wouldn't change any of it. I found a wonderful partner and we moved together for a while before settling and having kids.

In my early 40s I was diagnosed with a really rare cancer that paralyzed me from the chest down for a year prior to surgery and left lasting disabilities following. Now in my 50's with declining health I am so glad I lived. It means I don't have a lot of things others have but I've never cared much for the Jones' anyway. If Cancer taught me anything it's fuck society and their expectations. Do you. Find a way. Be happy.

The alternative is much worse. I don’t want to be poor and/or homeless. I want to be able to take vacations and not worry about surprise expenses. I want to actually be able to retire someday.

The alternative is a much harder life to live, in my opinion. For me, giving up 40ish hours a week for the peace of mind it worth it. Yes, work is not how I’d prefer to spend my time, but it allows me to spend the rest of my time doing as I’d please.

A pivotal piece of advice once shifted my perspective on work. It was put simply: 'If the thought of retirement is your main motivation, you might be in the wrong job.' This implies that if you're constantly counting down the years to retirement, you're essentially wishing for time to fly by quicker. But those years are valuable, and letting them slip away in anticipation of something else isn't worth it. The key is to find a career that reduces your stress and enhances your life now, not just in the future. While financial security is undeniably important, it's also crucial to recognize when you have enough and to prioritize your well-being and happiness in the present.

I've pretty consistently chosen less hours and better working conditions over pay since I started to have that choice. It's made it a lot more tolerable. I'm currently on a four day week, with a minimal commute, good perks and a relatively stress free job that I took a pay cut for. My retirement savings look pretty slim, but due to my health the chance of a long one isn't much higher anyway.

Not without it's issues. Pay is pretty significantly below the median. Fortunately I'm not interested in having kids and I'm content living cheaply, even if it sounds boring. But I'm in a weird dead zone for government support; for instance - if I earned more, there are programs for "middle income" housing and the like that I earn too little to qualify for. Low income housing programs are a joke - with wait times being as much as a decade -but even if it wasn't I'm not high priority anyway. Also no way on earth I'm ever getting a home loan, even though mortgage repayments would be less than rent and I could conceivably make the deposit.

Plan the things you want to do into your life. Drop the notion "when I retire I will..." If you can fit the stuff you want to do into your Annual Leave then that's a big win. If not then you'll need unpaid leave. One good time is between jobs.

Was just talking about how difficult work is going to make the next three days, so that I can't wait until they're over, but that's another week of my life where I'm wishing for days to pass so I can try to be happy again. Lame. Lame as fuck.

Trying to out-earn my age. Can you guess how that's going so far? :/

I slack. Oh boy do I slack. I'd work so harder if I thought I would actually get something for it. In fact, when I started my latest job, I was doing just that, because it seemed this company was different, and it's something I'm naturally good at. Got commended by my boss about how much I was doing, how quickly I was learning, how in a year I had already surpassed the next most recent hire that had been there for 2 years... Then time came for my review, and it was a "meets expectations". Like wtf do I have to do to exceed expectations? Then not long after, they started denying me time off, saying I had taken too much. Supposedly we had unlimited PTO, of which I had taken 2 weeks so far that year (1 week in March, the rest just single days here and there), and my request was for a week in July... Anywho long story short, I've pretty much figured out exactly how much I have to fake being busy to not get negative attention, and I do that. I milk cases for all they're worth. And I'm still getting more done than half my colleagues. I hate it, but it pays decently, so I have a hard time throwing it away for something that might be more fulfilling, but doesn't pay as well...

I simply work part time on purpose. I don't have my own place (flatmates) so we all split the COL. It's not truly freedom, but it feels a lot more free than when I worked full time. I usually have enough to save a little and also because of this I am able to travel a few times a year. But you have to be REALLY able to manage your finances to live like this. I have no credit card and prepay everything ahead of time. It leaves me with a lot more time to enjoy LIFE. and feel less constantly tired as well.

Existential dread. I am not here to be a wage slave but I can't figure out how to get out. I just drink a lot

Maybe this isn't the answer you're looking for: my job is my passion and the idea of retiring sounds horrible. I image it will only happen when I'm too senile to keep doing what I love, and that's clearly not something to look forward to. But who knows... I know old people who are tired and just want to rest.

(I got lucky, since I happened to be passionate about computer programming. I know most other people don't have the same option.)

Eventually you get to the point where you age-out of joy. I mean, sure, you try to throw yourself into your work, try to squeeze some semblance of satisfaction out of that dried raisin of a career. But it’s never the same as it used to be. It’s hollow, just like you, and you hate all of it. But what else are you gonna do? So you do your time and go home and stare at the wall; you have no desire to watch tv because it’s all the same bullshit you’ve seen for years. When you do watch tv, usually with your spouse who is little more than a grumpy roommate now. The tv screen is transparent, and you see nothing but the studs in the wall. The family mills about, completely clueless to the misery you are living. Sure you laugh, but it’s without the twinkle in your eye that you once had. You tend to spend a lot more time in the bathroom staring at yourself in the mirror, telling yourself you want to blow your brains out, but never do. Sometimes you cry in isolation. Most of the time you are numb and you sit there in silence. Otherwise, you pretend to do stuff until nightfall. Finally. You down some sleeping pills, go to bed early, doom-scroll for a few hours until the meds kick in. Lights out. You wake a few hours later, before the rest of the fucking world it seems, muttering the word “fuck”. Not with the frolicking fun connotation of youth, but in utter despair that you awoke at all. Again. So you drag yourself to that mirror, brushing your teeth, put on that hollow smile and start the day over. repeat. And again. And again.

I’m sorry, what was the question?

Lets be honest, my retirement plan is my corpse getting tossed in a dumpster.

Dunno but I am hoping aliens invade in the following years and make our existence more enjoyable than this ...

For me, I look to the past to see what life could have been like were I born 100 - 200 -500 - 1,000 years ago and try to find the positives that being born now has.

And the reality is that even as soon as 100 years ago life was much, much harder and worse in almost every metric. Brutal jobs, brutal hours, with safety of no concern, even if you were a child. Housing? You were lucky if you could heat your home in some way in the winter, and air conditioning didnt even exist yet. Physical labor jobs were a large amount of the work, so many people simple worked themselves into uselessness and then suffered the rest of their lives.

It doesnt get much better going back further than that really. Plague anyone?

Today we enjoy a massive, massive amount of comfort in our lives. Have amazing, tasty, and safe food at our fingertips almost without issue. Can travel the entire globe effortlessly when even a cross country trek could have been a multi-month brutal affair with a death sentence for half the travel party. Modern medicine eliminates so many of the issues of the past.

In reality very few people "just" work for 40 years and then retire useless husks and then die. I suspect you spend some time with friends and loved ones, perhaps even travel and engage in leisure time kings and queens of 200 years ago couldnt dream of during those 40 years.

Of course there are better systems, but the rich and powerful hold all the cards.

• I live in the UK, so I get 25 days off work, and I take full advantage of that, I rarely do staycations.

• I'm about to buy a property and I'm deliberately going to get a mortgage where my monthly payments are not as much as I can possibly afford, but a bit less. This means that it will take me longer to pay it off, and overall it will cost me more, but I will have more disposable income today to spend on life's pleasures.

• I don't have kids and don't plan to.

• I stay physically active, just simple going to the gym 5-6 days a week. And I think this is really important. It will keep your body in shape and by the time your 60 or 70, you'll be able to do much more than your average peers who spent their middle age doing office jobs followed by evenings in front of the TV. And here, instead of my 41-year-old self, I'm going to use the example of my mum. She's turning 70 next year, but it was only when she was 68 that she started taking swimming lessons and she got to love it. It was also around that time that I floated the idea to her "why don't I take you for holidays to New York". She was all "no, no, I'm too old, it's too much walking, you took me for a holiday to London when I was 55 and I was totally exhausted, I wouldn't be able to do New York at this age." Now that she's had over 1.5 years of almost daily swimming (and cycling, she's also a keen cyclist) - she said yes. She said she's feeling perfectly fine doing long walks, she's more energised, and she already gave me a list of what she wants to see in New York.

• Other than physical activity, scientists seem to agree that the other two pillars of long and healthy life are good sleep, and good diet. For the former, I recommend reading Why we sleep by Matthew Walker. And good diet means varied diet, vegetable-rich diet, and low-calorie diet (too many books agree on that for me to recommend a specific one).

As a kid, I was traumatized by the idea that I'd need to work until I'm old and then maybe spend another decade or two being too old to do the things I wanted before I eventually die. I was so distraught over "the way things are" that I constantly fantasized about running away and building my own tree house in the woods to live in, à la Swiss Family Robinson style.

And this was a time before inflation and property prices got out of hand. We were still fed the idea that getting a college education and a good paying job would help us live comfortably, while still saving up for retirement.

Then I joined the US military, thanks to the advice of my uncle who was a retired Air Force Chief Master Sergeant. 20 years later, at only 38 years old, I officially retired and earned myself a pension equal to about half my monthly pay, which I will collect automatically for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, the military did away with the pension program about 7 years ago, so any newbies will have to do their new BRS program. (Basic Retirement System; basically the federal govt's version of a 401K) I was lucky enough to be grandfathered into the old pension program when I retired 2 years ago.

On top of that, a bunch of physical and mental injuries accrued over 20 years (thanks to serving during wartime) has earned me the coveted 100% Permanent & Total disability rating with the VA, which means I get free medical and dental for life, as well as a monthly paycheck from the VA that's bigger than my pension. I'm making more money in retirement than I did while serving! So I can be fully retired now.

My wife also served in the military, but she didn't make it to retirement. She was medically discharged about 12 years into service. But fortunately, her medical issues also earned her the rare 100% Total & Permanent disability rating from the VA as well. So she enjoys all the same benefits as I do, including a sizeable VA paycheck every month for life.

While I was serving, I bought houses in 2 separate places I was stationed, and I rented them out when I left. I hired on a property manager to act as landlord in my absence (since they're in different states from where I currently live) and they take 10% of the monthly rent as their pay, which incentivizes them to keep tenants in the house, as they don't get paid if it's empty. They literally take care of everything; I only get contacted if they need to make a financial decision, i.e. hiring a plumber, replacing a washing machine, etc.

I make sure to charge afforable rates for rent, not price-gouge like a lot of landlords do nowadays. I'm not relying on income from these houses, so I don't need to squeeze every penny out of them that I can. I'm very quick to fix issues, too. These houses were in excellent condition when I lived there (one was a brand-new build when I moved in) and I want to keep them in immaculate condition, so I make sure to do quality repairs and not just cheap patch jobs. I charge just enough to cover my mortgage (which was really cheap when I bought them around a decade ago) plus the property manager's share. When both houses are paid off, that rent money (minus 10%) is just passive income to supplement my pension and disability pay.

I've also been living in my childhood home for the past couple years, which my father owned until he passed away last week, so I will be inheriting the house and all 6 acres it's on. Basically a free house. Oh, and the military paid me a separate monthly housing allowance to afford rent/mortgage payments while I was serving, so I didn't have to spend any of my own money on the 2 houses I bought. The military covered my mortgage while I lived there and tenants are paying my mortgage now. So I technically own 3 houses that I didn't need to spend any of my own money on.

Besides all this, I also have some investments going through my cousin, who works for an investment firm. I'm pretending those investments don't exist until actual retirement age, so they'll accrue in value over the next couple decades and hopefully be a sizeable retirement nest egg.

So through a lot of dumb luck (and some smart choices), I've managed to not only avoid working until I'm too old to enjoy life, but I actually have some decent income to live comfortably on. I'm not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm living cozy enough to relax and enjoy the second half of my life at my own pace, without a job to afford my way of life.

This is what life should be like for everyone. We're not here to work for the rest of our lives, that's just capitalist propaganda, fed to us since grade school. We only get one shot at life, so it should be lived! There should be plentiful options to make passive income in the second half of your life so you can enjoy living. But the capitalist machine doesn't work if there are no workers to power it, so we're stuck in this broken worker bee system for the majority of our lives.

Drugs, mostly

I hate it. I started learning about FIRE, Financial Independence, Retire Early. The great part is that you can do what you want, you just have to match your spending to your income.

I hope for a better system for my kids' friends. (My kids will have me guiding them.)

You don't.

But changing it probably involves a lot of dropping heavy, sharpened pieces of metal on a certain class of people.

Poorly.

I got out!

Rented out my apt to others and the tiny difference to my advantage was enough to sustain myself in south America (working a bit and or volunteer or living in free housing(my ex's)

I now got some more money (sold the apt) and do holiday rentals here, but even without that it's just few hundred per month for food and going out, maybe 95$ extra for social local Healthcare (for 2!)

Don't ever think you need to be a millionaire to get out. Government guaranteed bonds pay 9.5% per year.

So each 10k usd you put in a guaranteed usd account = 87$ free money each month. Need 50k for bit over 400$/mo which is the local minimum wage. 100% government guaranteed (if you split in 2 banks)

For me I decided young that I needed a career that would take me places so I could have life experiences and maybe get a few bucks.

I applied to everything everywhere while I was working and always thought "it may suck, but at least it will be different."

There are better systems, but IMO I was never able to find or capitalize on them so i needed to focus on what my current goals were keeping in the back of my mind that this is a marathon, not a sprint.

Be aware that your peers that do amazing work and get promotions, get that easy job or just get a lucky break only affect your life negatively if you let it.

Positive "coping mechanisms" help when dealing with stress (exercise routine, yoga, whateverworks for you), when negative coping mechanisms hurt.

I've been lucky enough to live and work in some amazing places, and 35 years later we have finally found a place we want to "settle".

Cry myself to sleep.

On top of being too old, I'll be too poor, so I'll probably just neck myself around ~70.

I can't imagine stopping to work. If I retire, I'll have no money. I cannot count on pension either.

But I have an IT job, it's just sitting in front of the computer all day; it's not like a physical job I wouldn't be able to do at old age.