this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2024
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] [email protected] 182 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Maybe he's right.

Billie Joe has been married to the same woman for more than 30 years. That's a lot more family value than the MAGA idol ever managed in any of his several marriages.

Green Day also didn't encourage people to attack the Capitol, unlike the "patriot" MAGA idiots.

It's a low bar, but Green Day is a lot more respectful and respectable, even by their own definitions.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 5 months ago (5 children)

Billie Joe Armstrong: Strong advocate for monogamy and heterosexual marriage.

Taylor Swift: Serial dater. Pegs exclusively.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Also Billie Joe: Openly bisexual since 1995. Love the one you're with. That's literally the only thing that matters.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Unless in a polycule... In that case I think it's something like "do your best to make sure everyone is doing okay, feeling loved and supported and frequent check ins for consent are done."

It's too socially complicated for me but if you can make it work then what turns your crank ain't none my bizznizz..

[–] [email protected] 18 points 5 months ago

Or, more succinctly, love the ones you're with.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

Guess he don' wanna be an American idiot!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 months ago

I would be curious to see if people from the "counterculture" tend to have longer relationships/be more faithful than traditionalists... I know my ex colleague who spent February 2022 on Parliament Hill in Ottawa must have cheated on his wife with dozens of women...

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[–] [email protected] 142 points 5 months ago (2 children)

In this thread: People who are incapable of understanding the most transparently obvious satire ever written.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago (3 children)

People have said so much insane shit over the years that it is genuinely becoming harder and harder to tell what is being said sarcastically and what is not

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Yeah but this one was still super obvious. At least if you read the whole thing.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I mean I've heard more idiotic shit said sincerely.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I mean it’s a dead giveaway at the first bullet, but I totally get the knee jerk reaction because there were people who said Green day had “lost their way”.

That said, always thought Green Day was everything wrong with punk because of how pop they were when they first started. To me they’re still pretty pop. They’re like the hot topic of punk.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Green Day is "mainstream punk." Which is as damning a description of a punk band as you can probably get without calling them cryptofascist.

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[–] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago (8 children)

this is a parody account right.....

right?

[–] [email protected] 99 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah. It’s called low quality facts.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago

Poe's Law got me here...

[–] [email protected] 40 points 5 months ago

I follow them on Mastodon. They're my favorite source of the lowest quality facts on the internet, behind fox news.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago

No, they're quite serious about providing statements of dubious factuality.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

Brother, if you gotta ask that question you might want to take a good hard look at your own social media literacy. This is one of the most obvious pieces of satire I've ever seen. It has all the subtlety of a kick in the balls.

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think the people here who cant see this is satire are aliens from another planet

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 5 months ago

He had me in the first half. I’m not gonna lie.

[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago

Reminds me of Tom Morello's response to Paul Ryan claiming his favorite band was RATM.

I wonder what Ryan’s favorite Rage song is? Is it the one where we condemn the genocide of Native Americans? The one lambasting American imperialism? Our cover of “Fuck the Police”? Or is it the one where we call on the people to seize the means of production? So many excellent choices to jam out to at Young Republican meetings!

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/tom-morello-paul-ryan-is-the-embodiment-of-the-machine-our-music-rages-against-246033/

[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 months ago

Are you fucking KIDDING ME?
Oh, yeah you're fucking kidding me.
Ok, carry on, then.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Don't wanna be an American Idiot

Don't want a woman on my news media

And can you hear the sound of hysteria

The libtards mind fuck America

Welcome to a new kind of tension

All across the alienation

Where it's man and woman married okay

In television Dreams of tomorrow

The F16 flyovers were meant to follow

The American Anthem

DUNUNUNUN DUNNUNNUNUN

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago (4 children)

All true but Green Day hasn't been punk since just before Dookie. If you want to hear Billy Joe Armstrong in a punk band check out Pinhead Gunpowder.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Its funny, reading this post outloud to a friend and his reaction was "if Green Day doesn't support Trump's campaign then I don't anymore." He was serious too. Sometimes the dumbest things can change someones mind.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Yeah but like he could have guessed. Like I can guess right now that if I go turn on the sink and touch the water it will make my hand wet. Like I don't know for certain but I am pretty God damn sure.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

I'm a Patron of this low quality genius.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago

Sure, everybody knows that.

Punk is a religious cult
Punk ain't thinking for yourself
You ain't hardcore if you spike your hair!
Let a jock still live inside you head!
[–] [email protected] 16 points 5 months ago

Boycotting punk? Now THAT'S punk!

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (5 children)

Green day is still considered punk? Or is that part of the joke? (Serious question)

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago (6 children)
[–] [email protected] 142 points 5 months ago

Low quality facts only posts the highest quality facts

[–] [email protected] 71 points 5 months ago (1 children)

It doesn't have to be but it is.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

Well that's nice of it

[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago

Jokes? From user Low Quality Facts? Never!

[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago

What gave it away?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

It's so blatantly satire that the humor is missing.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 months ago

From "Low Quality Facts", it's probably a joke. If not, they need to explain what Anarchy in the UK meant to 1970s Britain. Or show what they mean in the following 2 decades of punk.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Also "punk" is an excellent way to not swear! Because punk is also about punkin CHRISTIAN VALUES, you stupid motherpunkin' punks!

MxPx plays on a huge PA in the high school auditorium as he raises his arms over his head, fists clenched, salmon polo shirt collar rippling around his neck in the thick spring breeze somehow, even though it's indoors

Jesus was the first punk, you punks!

crowd noise surges to almost painful levels, he walks off stage holding a large burning cross above his head given to him by an assistant. The crowd pulsates closer to him as he walks away, and he sticks out his tongue and gives people the finger... the ring finger.

Frick off, you punkers! WTF!! What True Followers! LOL! Loving Our Lord! Thank you, good night!

crowd noise recedes as they all begin clapping and praying in the distance. Cut to a car, him, driver's seat, driving and Hawk Nelson playing in the car

Punkin' nailed it! Like our father to the cross! I'm so gay for that hot-abbed Jesus! Toga! Toga! Toga! I bet he had a great ding-donger on him. What a beseeching and beautiful man our savior was...

pulls into his fraternity parking lot

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago

Also punk: dripping wet sarcasm about current events. Carry on.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Why are republicans such fragile snowflake little bitches

[–] [email protected] 42 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Why are lemmings so socially inept that they can’t pick up on something so obviously satire

[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago

Yeahhh... Pretty obviously satire even without the user name.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If you get offended by music then may I suggest a white noise machine

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

WHITE noise? Clutches pearls

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago

If a MAGAtard gets pissed off that means they must be doing something right.

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