this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2023
174 points (94.8% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26690 readers
1832 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics.


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I stopped drinking alcohol some years ago. Before that I hardly consumed any alcohol at all for many years, but in my college years and maybe some years after that, I drank socially like "everybody else". But I gradually kind of got tired of dealing with the bad feelings (physical and emotional), so I drank less and less.

And maybe because I drank less and less, even one beer often just made me feel kind of bad, so then I just stopped altogether. Anyway, I'm curious if this has happened to anyone else? And how do you go by it socially? What do you order at a bar? Maybe I'm a little afraid to go to places that has an "alcohol culture", even if there are some places I would like to go. I don't want to drink, but at the same time I don't want to appear weird about it either.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don't drink nearly as much as I used to. Not that I ever did a lot anyway. But after having my child I noticed drinking made me way more impatient instead of relaxing me. Now I really only drink when my wife and I go on a date. I do partake in a good THC gummy fairly frequently now though. They are quick and easy to make you feel good and I don't get that impatience from it. But I normally take it after my child goes to bed anyway. Helps me sleep and doesn't make me feel bad the next day.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Same here. I bought a big bottle of gummies and cut them up into smaller cubes. Now I can just pop a cube or three for however much I want to feel that day.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I have shifted the occasional cocktail or two after work to a vaporizer bag of home grown indica. Still a crutch, but I won't feel like death the entire next day.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Your replacement sounds amazing

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago

Sativa for me. Give me a good, smooth sativa and I'll clean my entire apartment and catch up on my chores.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My body stopped responding to alcohol like it once did. I was never a big drinker but through my 30s, I've slowly stopped feeling any sort of buzz and instead get anxiety and insomnia. I'm also having a harder time handling cannabis, a little bit can send my heart rate through the roof. I'm sure I've got some health issue contributing to these changes but haven't figured it out yet.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Hey thanks for writing this out. I noticed these exact changes a few years ago, but I don't have enough self-awareness or articulation to have expressed it the way you did. I am relieved that my bodies reactions are not unique.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

When I was younger drank like a fish, full bottle of whiskey, vodka, rum, at a time. I'm turning 45 in a few days and last drink I had was 3 weeks ago. Last time before that was several months. I've gotten to the point where I'd much rather just have water.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It wasn't gradual, but I didn't make a deliberate choice either. It was during 2020. My fear of covid (I did get it, it was hell) outweighed my desire to go to the liquor store. By the time places were opening up again, I realized my life was a lot more livable without the blackout binges. I've felt really weird about it ever since then, that I don't really have an inspirational "I chose to do this, it was my strength and willpower to get better" quitting story since it was purely from literally not being able to, but I try to just be grateful because it really was destroying my life.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

similar thing happened to me. i think it's important to remember it's literally easier to can't do something than choose not to do something.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I was a binge drinker. I would buy a big bottle of whiskey and drink until I fell asleep, then wake up and start drinking until it was gone. Then I'd be sober for a while and eventually binge again.

I had a sort of similar gradual experience with quitting. I was enjoying it less and less, mostly just getting depressed and feeling sick from the constant changes in body chemistry. I went from being blackout drunk 2 days a week to 2 days every other week, and then every month or so. At one point I realized I had been sober for 50 days and decided I needed to be done with it forever.

Now I'm at 200 days and almost never think about drinking. I have basically zero desire to drink, all I can think about is how bad it made me feel.

I don't go to bars or really socialize in person at all. I would recommend trying to find other ways to socialize that don't involve bars, but I have known sober people who can happily hang out with people who drink.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (3 children)

There are a lot of people like me who are deeply envious of people who somehow just drifted away from alcohol.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I stopped after a last hangover and 20 years of heavy drinking.

I decided to, so I read the book "this naked mind" as I was told it is a good start and it seems to have worked on me. It's only been a bit more than a month now, but I don't feel like drinking and I don't even think about it so that's cool.

Good luck on this journey.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Work in progress over here myself 🙋

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

It's really simple to stop...its not easy for a lot of us but very simple... hope you do what ya need to do friend

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The number of times I think "A drink sounds good" is zero, and always has been. It doesn't relax me or reduce my inhibitions. My wife likes to drink though, and it does those things for her. She definitely enjoys it more when I drink with her, so I do sometimes. I actually kind of enjoy the taste of a good tequila, but would pretty much always prefer a good root beer.

So I drink as much as ever, but if I lived alone it would be pretty much never.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is so interesting. I'm not in a relationship now, but if I was and my partner would like to drink, what would I do? I don't know. I don't really want to rule out potential partners if they enjoy some drinking. So did me being alone this time make me go from one beer to zero, or would I have gone to zero anyway.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I for sure understand. And to be clear, there's zero peer pressure for me, it's just I know it enhances her enjoyment. And it's not really much of a negative. I mean, if I drink too much I get the swimmy head and stuff, but I just stop short of that.

I sort of envy people who get the buzz, relaxation, reduced inhibitions, and whatever. I just don't.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I intentionally stopped drinking about 10 years ago. I found that post divorce me was drinking more that I was comfortable with. So I stopped.

I do not think I was an alcoholic, but there seem to be many definitions for that word. I may start drinking again someday. But we will see, no plans now to start again.

I am not at all opposed to people drinking. I will even go with you and be the designated driver. But many bars really do not even try to accommodate non drinkers. I have had some fucking awful spicy virgin marys.

I do think that THC gummies are healthier than drinking. But I have really slowed my use of them because I think they were affecting my already bad memory.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

With all the health implications of alcohol that's not a bad problem to have. Might be worth remembering that any time you do go somewhere that's heavily "alcohol culture" there's a lot of people there wishing they were you.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

The safe toxic limit of alcohol is half a glass of wine per year.

Alcohol is implicated in 50% of reported sexual assaults.

Alcohol is a leading causal factor of vandalism, violence and death.

There is no lethal dose of LSD.

LSD is known to be therapeutic for people suffering from PTSD, OCD, anxiety and treatment resistant depression.

LSD is known to produce effects similar to meditation and bring people closer to their environment.

Which one of these drugs is banned in most jurisdictions?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I stopped drinking about 35 years ago. I wasn't a big drinker. I was living in London and after a night out preferred to drive home rather than get the night bus or a cab so I just stopped. I would have a glass of lemonade or a coke when out with friends. It only took about 5 years for my friends to stop trying to cajole me into having a drink.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I don't drink any more for the same reasons. There's plenty of people who don't drink at all due to whatever choices like religion, health, etc.

If people ask I just say "nah I don't drink because of health complications" 99.9% of people don't push any further. I just order water or a soda if I'm feeling it. What im drinking isn't anyone's concern.

The weird part is thinking you're appearing weird. Literally noone cares. Go have fun.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah, I think this is how it is. I think I'm appearing weird even though people probably cares less than I think. I guess it is why I wrote this question. I'd like to know how people got over this phase and stopped worrying. Blaming health complications feels somehow dramatic... but maybe I'll use that one if someone really pushes and it's half true in my case anyway.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I would drink on the weekends, most every weekend. Didn't matter if I was alone playing games or out with friends. Ever since I had a kid 6 months ago I rarely drink at all. I'll have a beer when going out for supper or a beer when out with friends. I mainly stopped because I didn't want to feel shitty while trying to deal with a baby. Now I find if I have more than a couple beers in a night I'm feeling crappy which is crazy considering 6 months ago I was drinking 6+ a night on the weekends. I don't miss drinking at all and much like yourself I find they just make me feel kind of bad.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Not really, I used to drink a lot on weekends, stopped when I was 22 or so, because the drunk was not worth the health problems it was causing. Drank about once a year till I was 40 or so, then picked it back up as my social circle changed and more opportunities to host parties, and I am a good cook and enjoy flavors so just got into making drinks as part of food culture. Now I drink a little on weekends - like one drink two or three days a week, not every week, and always take a month off in July, sometimes October as well. This pattern feels good to me. Moderation, I'd call it, intentional drinking of intentionally made, delicious drinks. I never drink anything just because it's got alcohol, I drink the things I find delicious.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I have never really enjoyed alcohol. If I’m at a social event and someone hands me a beer I’ll drink it. Or, if I’m in 500 year old pub in London I’ll order one. But the last beer I brought home my wife cooked with after it sat in the fridge for months. And I have never let myself get drunk.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I went from drinking mid week and weekends. Then to just weekends. Then to every other weekend. Eventually I just stopped. It takes a lot to get me feeling drunk enough to call it worth it, and by that point I feel gross, so really it's not worth it.

[–] exohuman 4 points 1 year ago

Drinking only makes my health problems worse and to be honest I don’t miss it. I never was a big drinker anyway.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Simple by changing how I interact with the world. With alcohol I also leave disco and pubs because that places working on that. Living healthy by preferring doing sports, if this mean become a weirdo I don't give a fuck.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This happened to me. I stopped enjoying the way alcohol made me feel and alcohol consumption is not generally a good idea when mixed with mental health medications. So I think my alcohol consumption went down steadily until I didn't drink anymore. I really enjoy non-alcoholic beers. There are some excellent craft ones that have sprung up in recent years.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Me too! I was drinking 0% beer while writing this post. Some are really good. And now that I haven't drank in years, I actually often double check the label if the beer really is 0%. It's weird.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Most of the NAs contain a very tiny amount of alcohol, statistically negligible. I think it's something like 0.001% or some thing like that. Anyways, I digress - the NAs do taste like the real thing. The one thing I notice however is that you have to drink them faster once opened because they tend to go bad quickly.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The exact same thing has happened to me. I still have a beer every now and then (like once every two months or so). I pretty much can honestly say that if I drank any less, I wouldn't drink at all.

I've never been that much of a drinker, but once I reached my forties, having a beer or two would invariably mean that I would need to take a nap a few hours later, and I just don't need that interfering with my day. And I am cognizant of the recent studies have shown that there is no health benefits, only detriments, to any amount of alcohol at all. And add that I would pretty much always prefer the taste of a diet soda to a beer on almost any occasion, I've pretty much almost completely phased out alcohol in my life.

It helps a lot when most of your friends don't drink much, either. That said, does any one else really care whether you drink or not?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

My friend circles do not really care, or at least I hope they don't. Most of my friends drink very little as well. There was some semi-awkward discussions about alcohol politics at some small parties when I decided to stop altogether, but I think that was that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I will drink a good beer her and there, but nowhere near the level i used to, and don't mess with spirits at all anymore. My body couldn't keep up and I hated having to spend an entire day recovering just to have a little fun in the evening.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Took a break from alcohol about two months ago just on a whim. Had a few brewskis over the last week and it's just not as enjoyable as it once was.

I don't know, seems there's something in the air because I've been hearing from more people who have just stopped recently.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yep. I think it's part of getting older - the costs on your body become higher, and you start spending more time hungover than drunk. I have a beer maybe once or twice a week at this point, and I'd been at a nightly six-pack for a bit there in my twenties.

Weed, on the other hand, just seems to get better the older you get.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I cannot find the high in weed, and am plenty old. It irritates the heck out of me, just feel like I can't think, stupid and annoyed. No high, no euphoria, and not exactly relaxed more like exhausted.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I had way more fun drinking when I was a minor than as an adult. It's not even about it being "taboo" but just not being as enjoyable to me anymore; now that weed is legal in my state I'll smoke weekly but only drink maybe 5-10 times a year. I had a couple drinks (for the first time in ~3 months) at a BBQ this past weekend and it didn't have any positive impact on my evening.

I rarely go to bars anymore but when I do I'll have 1-2 beers and buy a food item to go with each one. It's wild to remember I used to have like 6-10 drinks during a night out and eat nothing until I got back home and made a sloppy quesadilla or something.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I stopped drinking about six years ago. My university had a very “party” atmosphere, and I faced a lot of social pressure to drink during most outings. Being an oddball nerd, I drank for the first time alone in a basement so that I could understand how it felt before doing so in front of others. After some vaguely pleasant spinning about the room I ended up vomiting and had a rough hangover the next day. And that pretty much summed up my relationship with alcohol for the following decade. Have a mildly good to mediocre time, followed by regret. Even with just a small amount. Eventually I had a moment of clarity in my late twenties where I realized “this is not for me” and just stopped. I wish I had possessed the self awareness and bravery in my late teens to take the stand then.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

One beer every Friday night. A glass of wine if it is offered to me at a wedding or something.

Cannabis is so much better. Just about every sat afternoon.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I haven’t stopped drinking in the deliberate sense, but more taken to making the most of my time, which is difficult to accomplish with a hang over. As well as looking after overall health, not just the drinking, but it’s one of many things to watch.

I truly and honestly am a “social drinker”. I don’t drink alone, which really cuts out a lot of it.

My friends don’t primarily go to bars as a central activity. I still drink with them on certain occasions, but it’s more like a couple of beers while doing something else.

These days I average probably a six pack of beer a month (some months maybe only 1 or 2 beers, other months maybe a bit more than 6 so it averages out), and maybe one hard cocktail a month at a fancy place to eat.

It’s actually quite nice to get a proper buzz after two beers these days.

I’ve also simultaneously cut out 99% of soda. I still enjoy beer, but Coke/Pepsi now tastes weird and off-putting. Only various root beers, ginger ales, vanilla, and Dr Pepper types taste any good to me, though I probably drink fewer sodas than beers now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Wasn't a huge drinker, maybe like 1 beer a night at home. I lost my appetite for it once I started hitting the gym regularly. Just didn't get the craving for it like I used too. Will still occasionally drink socially.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I tapered right off and didn’t drink anything for about two years. Covid lockdowns and everything being closed made me romanticise the idea of going to a pub and having a nice cold beer. Once I was able to again it was glorious.

Now I drink occasionally but it’s mainly either one or two with a meal or socially. Importantly I drink when I want to and I don’t want to - I won’t.

When I wasn’t drinking, I didn’t really have any issues. Most of my friends don’t drink much which helps. Soft drink or alcohol free beer are good options. Or water. Or coffee. Whatever. I once ordered a cup of tea while everyone else was drinking alcohol. It was great.

It helps if you’ve got a driving purpose for not drinking. Mine was weight loss. Drinking was counter-productive to weight loss so it seemed like a backwards option.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I’ve slowed way down on my drinking. In fact I have wasted a lot of beer by getting tired of drinking one half way through and dumping it out. A lot of times the idea of a drink ends up being better than the actual drink

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Yes. I smoke weed every day but I rarely drink alcohol.

The weird thing is my alcohol tolerance is enormous. Occasionally I’ll get together with a friend and we drink whiskey and the last time I realized I’d had like 10 shots and I was totally fine.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I just quit alcohol recently. I’ve never really enjoyed the flavor of any alcoholic beverages. I drink to feel it. I also have non alcoholic fatty liver disease so it’s just better I dont drink.

I went from drinking a lot in my late teens to drinking socially in my 20s and by 30s I’m done drinking.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Pretty sure I'm genetically predisposed to have a large desire to drink. Both sides of my family have alcoholics. There are a few specific social circumstances where I'm okay drinking a limited amount, but I cannot keep any alcohol in my house. There's no such thing as keeping a 6-pack in the fridge for any length of time.

load more comments
view more: next ›