Asklemmy

I have two older brothers. One is an unhinged hypochondriac that's gets off on fighting with people, and the other is a white supremacist. Haven't talked to either in about 5 years. I have a brown daughter.

I have a brother who is younger than me by 6 years. Our upbringing was a bit weird. Our parents basically forbid anything that might cause them inconvenience, irritation, or expense - which was most things that might interest a kid. (No, they're not religious, which is the first question that everyone asks. They're just raging assholes who are also a bit stupid. I can't really explain it much beyond that.)

In addition to the manipulation and emotional abuse, they rewarded us if we informed on each other. I seldom did. Not through any great virtue or integrity of my own, but because I routinely got punished for the stupid shit he did. For instance, I didn't tell them when our adult neighbor shot little bro with an air rifle because I knew he would catch absolute hell for being in the position of getting shot with an air rifle. Even if I didn't catch hell about it, it was miserable to watch him get screamed at. For context on this story - we had been told to stay away from Steve's yard because Steve was a known psycho with a hatred for neighbor kids. On that glorious summer day, Steve had dropped a $5 bill on his driveway just inside the property line... and was waiting for a kid to come by and be dumb enough to try to pick it up.

I might actually tell that one at their funeral.

By contrast, bro was younger and never got any blowback if I was doing something wrong. He actually recorded me talking on the phone with a friend when I was in middle school. He picked up the other line and held one of those shitty '70s tape recorders to the earpiece. Talking on the phone was forbidden and he was collecting proof to use against me. My friend and I weren't plotting shit, I wasn't grounded (the concept was foreign because we were never really allowed to go out or do things like talk on the phone anyway), it was just forbidden to talk on the phone.

I could excuse it when he was eight, but he passed along "dirt" on me well into his late teens and my twenties. He was under pressure from them as well, but he basically shredded any idea of trust between us for far too many times to count. I forgot what the final straw was, but I remember thinking, "I can never confide in this person and feel trust." In every meaningful way, I've ignored him for the last 20 years.

He's probably the least shitty thing about family gatherings, but that's not saying much.

I’m 59 and have a sister who is 61. She went all out Trump Christian years ago and we barely talk

Older brother, we live halfway across the country from one another. We play video games almost nightly in Discord as a way to keep in touch. Visits are a couple times a year it wasn't always good but the 5 year age gap gets easier to overcome the older we get. Both in our 30s and we align on most things these days.

I have three younger siblings. Our relationship is basically that of acquaintances.

Two younger sisters. The age difference is quite big, I am 8 years older than one and 13 years older than the other. That’s just a possible side-effect of being born when your parents were VERY young.

The older of the two I barely speak with, no real animosity we just simply have nothing in common.

The youngest one I speak with a little bit more often, as we do share some similar personality traits - I see a lot of myself in her from when I was younger.

The final complication is that I live on the opposite side of the country from them. So no in-person visiting.

I'm 34 (male) and my brother is 31. He's my best friend (besides my wife) but he moved like 10 hours away so we try to fly a couple of times a year to hang out. We text every day multiple times.

I appreciate that everyone doesn’t have perfect relationships with their siblings.

Growing up, my parents made me feel horrible for having a bad one with my sibling. As though there was something wrong with me.

To this day, I carry a lot of shame around it, as in, how can I expect to have healthy relationships with friends and professional relationships at work if I couldn’t even manage one with my sister?

So, thank you all for making me feel less like an anomaly.

My younger sister is MTF. She's always been a loud asshole, and I had hoped that maybe living as a man was the cause of it. Nope, still a loud asshole. Just with different hardware. Love her to death, though.

Way better than my crackhead Trump-supporting older sister.

Younger brother. Haven't spoken in about 17ish years. About sums it up.

Had a older brother lost him 6 years ago found him again last year now we're best brothers again

Older sister by the same age range as yourself, OP. As kids we fought, when she made it to college we became closer, when she entered adulthood things got strained as she and my family did not approve of my SO (they were right, she was terrible), and once we were both adults we are friendly. We don't really have much in common as she very much lives a "Leave It To Beaver" type life (kids, house in the burbs, stay at home mom) and my SO and I are DINKs, do extreme sports like rock climbing and backcountry ski/splitboard, and have no plans to have kids (vasectomy on the horizon). So we keep in touch but don't connect on a lot of things besides our shared family members / updates on my nephews

Got an older sibling by 2 years. We don't talk weekly, but we are still quite close when we do talk. Always have been close. Never big fights and usually got along really well.
As kids we used to "manage a business" together (it was plushie based) - we entertained ourselves during long car rides with that business.

I get along really well with their partner, I am like a mix between the two of them. We can talk about everything. They called me when they had shit going on (like their gender), they took care of me when I was suicidal.

We are early thirties

As a child, I had horrible relationships with my brother and sister (I'm the oldest of us three). We'd be constantly fighting over this and that. As we grew up and matured however, we've all gotten really close. We've been each others' best friends since early adulthood, and hang out all the time. Sure, we may disagree about things, or do something mean to another sometimes. But we forgive and move on. I really treasure my relationship with them now.

I have a younger brother and a younger sister.

I don't really speak to my brother. I see him a couple of times a year when the family gets together but we don't have anything to talk about anymore. He's autistic so maybe he can't help it but he's impossible to have a normal relationship with. He's never had a job because he cant be trusted with any kind of responsibility. He can't stay away from alcohol if it's available and he can't handle it at all. It's always the same when he drinks. First he gets overly excited and it's very awkward because his whole personality changes. Then he gets easily irritated and gets into arguments about petty stuff nobody cares about, but he just can't let go.

He regularly texts family members about how they have let him down when he's getting drunk at night. He gets way more support than he deserves though. Once he just texted me "I'm sorry" and turned his phone off. Naturally I got worried when I couldn't reach him so I called mom, she told me not to worry though, turns out he just does that sometimes.

My sister and I get along much better but I worry she's losing it. She's easily the smartest and most socially capable of the three of us but she's never had a job outside of telemarketing and now she's too depressed to work at all. We don't have many relatives but the few we do have have a tendency to end up alone, bitter and severely unhealthy as they get old, and it's starting to seem like that's where she's heading.

I'm very worried they're both gonna come ask me for money when our parents are gone.

I have a younger sister and we get along fine. We take a couple of vacations together with our father each year and also meet up once in a while, when it is possible.

Only child, but i have a BIL. He's an alcoholic asshole. I feel bad that I'm not closer with my niece and nephew. I know they could use some reasonable, loving adults in their lives.

I have two younger siblings.

My brother is like my total opposite. We get along but don't really go out of our way to hang out or chat.

My sister is basically like me, but weirder. We get along great.

Older sister, drug addict, lost her first kid and second kid is now permanently in the custody of my mother. We don't speak, it's hard to talk to her, she thinks shes a god and that she sees spirits and she's just totally out to lunch.

I'm the oldest. I have a younger sister and brother.

We're all close and extremely comfortable with each other, but they're closer with each other than me, given their closeness in age.

I don't live at home with them anymore, but our relationship always feels natural and picks up where it left off even after being away for so long. I think we've been fortunate in that we've never felt to the need to compete with each other, and I think of them as a constant in my life that that I can always count on

Edit: removed some age info

I have a younger sister, and we pretty much get along great. We live next door to each other (and near other family and friends), and her and her husband and I tend to go on trips semi frequently. We text frequently, and hang out etc.

I have an older brother by 4-5 years.

We didn’t really get along when we were young. Fought over things - games, TV remote, CD player, etc.

But when he left for college, we grew closer. He still lived nearby, and my folks encouraged us hanging out. It was sort of an escape. Home life wasn’t great, and he and his friends were fun. He was around for a lot of my pivotal life moments. When I finally got to college, I moved in with him as roommates. Worked well.

We’re friends, basically. We have very different personalities - but we understand each other very well.

Now we live in different cities, hours apart. He’s married with a kid. I’m married and childfree. We see each other a few times a year. We text and call regularly.

I guess in this sense, I’m quite lucky.

Younger bro, 2 year age gap. I won't say everything is amazing all the time we've been going through some shit but, he's legit my best friend. I'd do almost anything for him.

We're besties

I have 2 siblings and our relationship for the most part was pretty good.

Until it got out that I was bi.

One of siblings is fine with it (they're also bi).

The other took a similar stance to the rest of my relatives and has all but cut ties with me.

I say similar as most of my relatives have fully cut ties with me.

So it could be better.

Younger brother 3-4 years younger, it began as me basically taking my anger out on him when we were kids (I pushed him into the street once). But now? We're at a neutral stand point, however i do get uneasy when I don't hear him in his room. He works now and him being gone feels like i'm missing part of my "pack" to make things simple.

I have a little sister (not so little any more, she's 33, I'm 38) and I fuckin' hate her guts. We don't talk, I have her on block. She's nuts and that's about all there is to it.

I'm a man and the oldest of 6. My brother and I grew up being part of the same group of friends but grew apart in our early 20s (we're now around 40), he has his own group of friends now, we rarely see each other but we're in good terms. We have 4 sisters, 3 of them and I hang out whenever we get a chance and we're very close, our other sister stopped hanging out with us because of some drama.

Got an older brother. We were very close growing up, sharing hobbies and friends, and it’s been our foundation for keeping in touch since then. We don’t see each other as often as I would like, but I would say our relationship remains strong. We’ve both kept in touch with the same group of friends. “Life”, however, has imposed on us both; we live in different countries, both with family (mine is large, his is small but his lovely son unfortunately has a set of issues) so finding time to both talk and meet is very, very difficult. I’m definitely the one keeping in touch (can’t remember the last time he called me, other than a few times where he needs IT support) but that’s understandable given what’s going ok with his son.

I have 9 other siblings, ranging in age from 27 to 48 years old (I think.. it's hard to keep track lol)

My relationships with them all border on good/tolerable. We are very fortunate to be on good terms, despite our very very different beliefs.

I think it stems from the fact that we were never raised with malice/anger being an option in our home. Frustrated? Yes. Very much. But we were never hateful. There was always someone to bond with, and no one ever felt singled-out.

It also helps that we all like our space and were mostly respectful and understanding of that aspect as we grew up. It can be a bit difficult for all of us to make friends who "get" us like our family does, so letting loose at get-togethers is always fun and hilarious.

Sandor Clegane?

Older brother... Grew up together, hated him for a long time, perhaps unfairly as mother is really responsible. Kinda fine with him now

Younger sister. Love her dearly. She's off keeping her distance from the family and so am I and so we never really talk.

Younger sister 2. Adores me. Makes bad decisions. All I can do is support her. Love her to bits.

Younger sister 3. Living the standard good life. She's fine, doesn't need anything from me or vice versa.

Younger brother. We get along great. Reconnected recently. Look forward to seeing him again. We have a lot in common.

Younger brother 2. We worked together for a few years, weird being his brother and his boss but we'd had so little contact it wasn't too weird.

Now I write this down I realise there's so much story here. Really interesting!

For reference, I'm in my early 40s and I helped raise most of my siblings to different degrees. Taught them to read, to use the toilet, that our parents are pointless 😁

I have two brothers. My younger brother is pretty cool - always kind and talkative, even though our interests don't overlap much. He's like an extroverted friend who always engaged with you, even if you don't have much interesting to respond with.

My older brother and I barely know each other by now, but he seems to have invented a fictional version of me who he absolutely despises. Every time I see him, he gets quieter and quieter, and he regularly texts our mother with the most venomous insults and accusations he can sling my way. I've probably spoken fifty words to him in the last few years, but he's fully convinced that I'm an evil person working to slight him at every turn.

I wonder sometimes if I should talk to him directly and ask what's up, or if I should just write him off. Even my mother is confused as to why he's like this.