Games

I'd land in a minefield, with only numbers to help me out.

I am god of the beavers.

Valheim, so probably killed by a falling tree.

BG3, so I'm either getting body snatched, horribly murdered, or laid.

I'd be hanging out in my nice Minecraft city my friends and I are building. Honestly wouldn't be too bad

Odds are that I get run over by a train shortly after. Also the factory must grow.

I spend three years locked in a tiny capsule and then die because the engineers forgot to add parachutes.

Factorio. The factory must grow.

Elden Ring. If it's anything like my playing experience. I'm dead within 2 minutes.

Stuck in the liminal space of THPS 1 and 2. Skateboarding forever. Alone.

I'd be living in the slums in Night City and have a higher quality of life than anyone I know in real life

I'm trying to learn how to read in war-torn Bohemia in the High Medieval Ages :/

I'm playing golf?

How unlikely! How fortunate I took so long to play Golf Story!

Ffs i only olayed one match of Starship Troopers... Im getting dismembered by an oversized animstronic alien ant

I die. Just like I do in CS2. Shouldn't have started again, I'm just too old for this shit.

Darktide?

I'm either getting killed by Nurgle cultists, or by the Inquisition for being weird and knowing heretical words like "Democracy" and "Human Rights".

I die of heart attack, bleeding, poison and disease simultaneously near the entrance to the Darkest Dungeon

If my regular Apex Legends experience applies, I've got about 30 seconds to live and no hope of my teammates reviving me.

Peglin? I can throw stones pretty well, but not sure I can do much against sentient walls

I'm in the Star Trek universe! Post scarcity and a chance to understand the mysteries of the universe and live twice as long? Sign me up.

I’d be piloting a ship around the Milky Way fueling my hoarding addiction with theft and murder

I'd be miserable in a basement, flinging my tears at flies and poop.

Why is everything square!?

Wtf is with all these zombies and skeletons at night? Why is that green guy running at me? Does... does he not have arms? Are those... four legs? What is going on here?

boom

If I'm not Geralt then I'm likely quite fucked.

I would get killed by a Worm with a Bazooka, unless it's my turn first and I manage to kill it before it kills me.

Hang out with a bunch of cool dudes, do some diving, make some sushi.

Sounds pretty ideal.

Judging by what the people in this world are saying, being rolled up into a giant ball and lobbed into space isn't as bad as it sounds.

I would be the lone human in Deep Rock Galactic. Hopefully I would be transported into the Rig and drink some beers because if I ended up on Hoxxes I'm pretty sure I would be glyphid food.

ROCK AND STONE BROTHERS

FOR KARL

Prince of Persia Warrior Within.

Hmm. If I'm on the island of time I'm royally screwed but living in some random town is okay I guess. Could be worse.

Caves of Qud. Guess I'm a farmer now. The world is very dangerous.

I gotta catch 'em all

Everything must be Satisfactory.

RDR2.

I'll go ask Dutch if I make negative amount of money if I'm supposed to take 50% from the camp funds

Faerûn. I'd probably fail to see a trap and die.

But in my defence, those are invisible until I roll a high enough number on a dice.

I'd be killed by a monster straight from Hell in under 10 seconds unless I start moving and never stop. Never stop moving. Hopefully I can find a weapon and some body armour!

I’m in feudal Japan during a civil war. I don’t speak any Japanese other than the lyrics to Mr. Roboto and I’m a foreigner. I’m probably dead.

(Shadow Tactics)

WH40K: Darktide. In the grim dark future of the 41st millennium I am so F-ed in the A.

It's (an) Earth, mid 18th century. Mega-Ghana is the world's leading great power, having crusaded both Christianity and Islam more or less out of existence centuries ago. The place that I actually live in real life was just conquered by England, although this problem is somewhat mitigated by the fact that the (Visigothic) king of Spain invaded England and renamed it to "Nouveau France" several centuries ago. Such is the nature of a multiplayer Paradox megacampaign

Technically I'd be in Night City, but for the first few hours surrounded by homelessness and decay I'd likely be trying to figure out how I got to San Francisco again...