this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2025
875 points (98.9% liked)

Programmer Humor

22628 readers
1580 users here now

Welcome to Programmer Humor!

This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!

For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.

Rules

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 93 points 6 days ago (7 children)
[–] andioop 41 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

don't post pictures of my face online, that's rude >:(

In all seriousness I wonder why I always realize I could have explained myself better/left something out/omg formatting error better fix it/holy shit typo after the initial commit, and have like 4 different ones (or a bunch of rebases in an effort to keep the repo clean of this crap) fixing it, instead of pushing just a correct and complete readme from the beginning.

This is also why most of my Lemmy comments have edits. Not some weird sketchy crap editing things in to make others look bad or totally change my point after getting refuted, but just… oops typo or I could reword that to be more understandable or I meant to say this and totally forgot about it.

[–] embed_me 2 points 4 days ago

Sometimes when it's not a minor edit like when I add some documentation, I usually branch so that I commit freely then just merge it squashing all the commits

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] embed_me 13 points 6 days ago

Look at this amateur, using a mouse to commit. I have a macro defined just to commit and push as a background job so that I can start editing the README again ASAP.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

The worst part? "readme updates" instead of "update readme".

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] [email protected] 99 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Third one should be called "A Bot"

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

100%

My GitHub profile looked like that for a while when I was using my own PAT for a CI step that did repo syncing.

Now a bot account gets all the credit. :(

[–] [email protected] 62 points 6 days ago (3 children)

the "does most commits to private repositories" user

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

you can configure github to paint private repo commits in the tiles, that's what I do, so it almost looks like #3, but less homogeneous.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Kinda, theres a way orgs can now hide the activity. For example, my github:

and then when im logged in:

Im in multiple orgs but the main one is protected.

But GH commit tiles are a silly metric anyways.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I’m the “makes commits to Azure DevOps because that’s what his company uses” user, so mine looks a lot like number 4.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (2 children)

The “my company works with bitbucket or gitlab”.

I’m the release manager for my company. I’d have so many fucking contributions 😅

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 days ago (1 children)

The Weekender is also anyone working professionally. You can't stick any of your real work on public github.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Github has an option to show private commits in these graphs though

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 days ago

Yup, but you might have another GitHub account!

[–] [email protected] 49 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I'm number 4, but instead of looking for a job, the pattern is subject to my crippling depression. Most of the time I simply feel that it's pointless to work on my projects, so I don't :(

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I see the point in my projects yet I am frustrated and depressed by my perceived lack of progress.

Want to start a project and procrastinate on it together?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I don't see the point of anything anymore, you folks need a community manager?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I’ve made up more names for new projects than what I have actually written code for. Yall looking for a product owner?

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 52 points 6 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 52 points 6 days ago (5 children)

Famous painter, best known for abstract paintings, see https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piet_Mondrian , section Life > Paris

[–] [email protected] 46 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Ah rectangle dude. Invented the triangle and revolutionised art from the 1930s onwards until Picasso made minecraft

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

There's also a programming language named after him: https://dangermouse.net/esoteric/piet.html

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

An abstract painter whose thing was overlaid rectangles in prime colors.

[–] WILSOOON 32 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Wheres the fucker who made loss in his commits

[–] [email protected] 17 points 6 days ago

git commit -m ~~.:|:;~~

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

My personal is shit, my work account though is lit like a Christmas tree but I can't use that on an application and contrary to popular belief, I don't always feel like spending all night coding after spending all day coding

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 days ago (1 children)

#3 is my script that converts one particular RSS feed to .ical format, and pushes it to a repo, because setting up a website for one silly script was overkill.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

#3 is actually impossible because the color gradient is relative and dynamic, is it not?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago (1 children)

hello I also have big text

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Does my text appear to you in big text? It doesn't on my app.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I assumed you guys just did hashtags like "#mondayblues" so on sync it showed up as titles because of the markup lmao

Unless neither of you did that and I'm just going crazy, which is definitely possible

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

I wrote #3 as in number three. For some reason I did see your text big and bold, but my three was not.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I wish I saw a GitHub wizard in the wild

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Needs one that's like #4 from January to September, labelled: "Fuck Github and anything else owned my Microsoft".

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 days ago

Where weekdayer

[–] KindaABigDyl 5 points 6 days ago

People who work at Apple: Completely Blank

load more comments
view more: next ›