this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 days ago (1 children)

California accepts denmark's bid. Please.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago

Honestly Washington State is the one I'd buy, but given the weird conservative obsession with beating up on California you can probably get a better deal.

[–] [email protected] 92 points 2 days ago (2 children)

they offered to buy Washington DC but it seems Russia beat them to it.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

slow claps

Well done sir, well done.

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[–] [email protected] 141 points 2 days ago (2 children)

EU citizenship with no hassle?

Hell yes!

[–] [email protected] 55 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yes, sign me up. I'm ready. Right now. Seriously. Do they want money?

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 days ago

This would be the biggest mass migration to California since the last one.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 days ago (3 children)

No hassle? I think you severely underestimate the effort required to learn Danish.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Wouldn't be the first bilingual EU country.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago

The Danish Realm already has three official languages, adding two more shouldn't be a problem.

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[–] [email protected] 113 points 3 days ago (15 children)

Can they buy oregon and Washington too?

[–] [email protected] 30 points 3 days ago

As a Cali expat in Washington I approve of this.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 days ago

I'm sure we could work out a buy 2 get 1 free deal

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Don't forget Colorado, we have lots of drugs!

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago

As a Coloradoan, I approve of being sold to Denmark.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 days ago

I support this sale.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

Friendly reminder that there are quite a few red states that literally would not survive without the tax revenue from California propping them up.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Maybe France would be interested to buy back Louisiana as well.

This is the "Louisiana" they sold: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/57/Louisiana_Purchase.png/1600px-Louisiana_Purchase.png

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

The Louisiana refund

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago

aren't those some of the reddest parts?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 2 days ago

Don't threaten me with a good time

[–] [email protected] 18 points 2 days ago

I hope they change the name to Hyggewood

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

What’s hygge

Edit: that warm cozy feeling

[–] [email protected] 34 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yes! California native here. We accept.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 days ago

$1 is a pretty good deal.

They should have charged, honestly.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Yes please. If you could finalize the deal before April 15 that would be very helpful.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

What's happening on April 15?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

oh, I'm not american so I don't know your tax days.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

I like how this underscores what a joke they think Trump is.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago

I wanna carve out Philly and submit myself to whichever EU nation is willing to take us. We voted against the fascist by double digit margin, and in the last mayoral democratic primary, a pluality of us voted for the progressive candidates (but the votes split on two of the progressive democrats so they both lost, thanks FPTP).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 days ago

The pitch is a bitter response to President Trump's plan to purchase Greenland, which Denmark currently owns.

Jesus titty fucking christ how obliviously ignorant do you have to be to not realize the satirical nature-...

the-sun.com

Oh, nvm when will the boomers fucking die already

[–] [email protected] 27 points 2 days ago (6 children)

Darn, I was kind of hoping for a viking raid of Mar-a-Lago followed by some pillaging up and down the gulf coast. Get some pirates back in the Caribbean and rename the Gulf to something even more obnoxious.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Well, the vikings reached the east coast of what is now Canada in around the year 1,000, but they were Norwegians, not Danes. They never got any further than New Brunswick, but who knows, if they visited Florida perhaps they would have stayed...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

They never got any further than New Brunswick

New Brunswick can do that to ya. You have to be ready for it.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 days ago

I looked up what hygge means and I am all for it!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 days ago

Lets go Danes!

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

"I, for one, welcome our new Viking overlords."

edit: "

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The sheer absurdity of this "news" piece perfectly encapsulates the late-stage capitalism circus we’re trapped in. A real estate fire sale of cultural landmarks? Only in a world where oligarchs treat nations like Monopoly properties and influencers mistake clickbait for journalism. Hollywood’s already a hollowed-out shell of corporate algorithms—selling it to Denmark would at least spare us another superhero reboot.

Propaganda outlets peddling geopolitical fanfiction while actual democracies crumble? Classic misdirection. Meanwhile, the same clowns who’d auction Yellowstone to Saudi princes for a tax break are now cosplaying as statesmen. It’s not satire anymore—it’s a diagnostic manual for civilizational collapse.

Social media’s algorithmic abyss keeps amplifying this narcissistic delirium until reality itself becomes a glitchy deepfake. Unplug the servers before someone Tweets Greenland into the ocean.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I would kill for some hygge right now

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 days ago (4 children)

That's not very hygge of you.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Ok so the Danes get the west, Canada gets the north, Mexico gets as much of the south as they want, and the rest can be The United States Of Trump until it gets destroyed

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Can you give some back to the First Nations people?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 days ago

Sorry, we're still only breaking treaties.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

Can I offer you some hygge in these trying times?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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