California accepts denmark's bid. Please.
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And that’s basically it!
Honestly Washington State is the one I'd buy, but given the weird conservative obsession with beating up on California you can probably get a better deal.
they offered to buy Washington DC but it seems Russia beat them to it.
slow claps
Well done sir, well done.
EU citizenship with no hassle?
Hell yes!
Yes, sign me up. I'm ready. Right now. Seriously. Do they want money?
This would be the biggest mass migration to California since the last one.
No hassle? I think you severely underestimate the effort required to learn Danish.
Wouldn't be the first bilingual EU country.
The Danish Realm already has three official languages, adding two more shouldn't be a problem.
Can they buy oregon and Washington too?
As a Cali expat in Washington I approve of this.
I'm sure we could work out a buy 2 get 1 free deal
Don't forget Colorado, we have lots of drugs!
As a Coloradoan, I approve of being sold to Denmark.
I support this sale.
Friendly reminder that there are quite a few red states that literally would not survive without the tax revenue from California propping them up.
Maybe France would be interested to buy back Louisiana as well.
This is the "Louisiana" they sold:
The Louisiana refund
aren't those some of the reddest parts?
Don't threaten me with a good time
I hope they change the name to Hyggewood
What’s hygge
Edit: that warm cozy feeling
Yes! California native here. We accept.
$1 is a pretty good deal.
They should have charged, honestly.
Yes please. If you could finalize the deal before April 15 that would be very helpful.
What's happening on April 15?
I like how this underscores what a joke they think Trump is.
I wanna carve out Philly and submit myself to whichever EU nation is willing to take us. We voted against the fascist by double digit margin, and in the last mayoral democratic primary, a pluality of us voted for the progressive candidates (but the votes split on two of the progressive democrats so they both lost, thanks FPTP).
The pitch is a bitter response to President Trump's plan to purchase Greenland, which Denmark currently owns.
Jesus titty fucking christ how obliviously ignorant do you have to be to not realize the satirical nature-...
the-sun.com
Oh, nvm when will the boomers fucking die already
Darn, I was kind of hoping for a viking raid of Mar-a-Lago followed by some pillaging up and down the gulf coast. Get some pirates back in the Caribbean and rename the Gulf to something even more obnoxious.
Well, the vikings reached the east coast of what is now Canada in around the year 1,000, but they were Norwegians, not Danes. They never got any further than New Brunswick, but who knows, if they visited Florida perhaps they would have stayed...
They never got any further than New Brunswick
New Brunswick can do that to ya. You have to be ready for it.
I looked up what hygge means and I am all for it!
Lets go Danes!
The sheer absurdity of this "news" piece perfectly encapsulates the late-stage capitalism circus we’re trapped in. A real estate fire sale of cultural landmarks? Only in a world where oligarchs treat nations like Monopoly properties and influencers mistake clickbait for journalism. Hollywood’s already a hollowed-out shell of corporate algorithms—selling it to Denmark would at least spare us another superhero reboot.
Propaganda outlets peddling geopolitical fanfiction while actual democracies crumble? Classic misdirection. Meanwhile, the same clowns who’d auction Yellowstone to Saudi princes for a tax break are now cosplaying as statesmen. It’s not satire anymore—it’s a diagnostic manual for civilizational collapse.
Social media’s algorithmic abyss keeps amplifying this narcissistic delirium until reality itself becomes a glitchy deepfake. Unplug the servers before someone Tweets Greenland into the ocean.
Ok so the Danes get the west, Canada gets the north, Mexico gets as much of the south as they want, and the rest can be The United States Of Trump until it gets destroyed
Can you give some back to the First Nations people?
Sorry, we're still only breaking treaties.
Can I offer you some hygge in these trying times?